On False Face:

I'd like to be feeling better about the place I'm at, but I don't. I feel better about getting things done under my own steam, but when help is needed what else can you do.

I think I'll be more comfortable when I'm back under my own speed and off the happy pills.

I've always liked to think of myself as a natural do-it-yourselfer. I get things done at my own pace, in my own way, with little interference from others.

But as I get older I find I need to rely on others, or other things, more often.

This is not a particularly good feeling for me. In fact, I don't like losing my singularity at all.

I know that in reality I don't live in a vacuum. Help from others is readily
available and often used.

I just don't like feeling dependent, or feeling adrift while waiting for help.

I also know that in the future, as I get older, I'll need to rely on others more often. This does not suit me at all and I'll have to get used to that feeling.

Being Goth does not exclude me from being sociable, but being sociable is not necessarily a Goth thing. So, I don't have a lot of resources, or people, to choose from when help is needed.

If you've ever seen the movie ‘Addams Family Values’. In the movie Wednesday Addams is at Camp. She is put in the ‘Harmony Hut’ for not playing well with others. She comes out happy and perky, but this makes her more scary than before. I’m feeling a bit like that on these happy pills.

Also though I am generally a happy, perky, Goth. I don't like being forced to leave the Goth out of it to be accepted by others.

I do tone it down when I go out in the world, it just makes things easier, and me less ridiculous at my age, but that is my choice. And sometimes I choose not to tone it down at all.

Being Goth is not a mental illness. There are no more mentally ill people in the Goth World than in the ‘Normal’ one.

Why should I have to leave the Goth that makes me feel good at home, just to get some meds for another problem entirely. You'd think they'd know better. I'm seasonally depressed not a ‘depressive’ Goth case.

I for see a miserable old lady dressed in pastel clothing, and baby pink lipstick, in a nursing home some day. Take my Goth away, and you take away my happiness. I’d rather be an old Goth hag in the corner than an aging beauty queen on display.

On Not A Depressing Story:

So I have been in a snit. Well it all started with SAD (Seasonal Affectedness Disorder) or Seasonal Depression.

I was letting my life fall to the wayside as I sat and did nothing. Well nothing productive.

The days started to get a bit longer and I was coming out of it only to find myself 15 pounds heavier, again, and my house a mess. Not to mention a few dents in my relationship with Mountain Man.

Angry with myself I pissed and moaned, held my head and rocked, screamed and got to work.

I have learned to live with Seasonal Depression. But now that is not enough. I will not let it take over my world again just because it is temporary.

I did now, and will in future, get some meds and avoid the destruction to my life and the ones around me.

I have learned not to be selfish. Not to rain on the lives around me just because it will pass.

Have a healthier and happier New Year everyone. I will.

On Cartoon Like Capers, Part Three:

Now Mountain Man is spending a lot more time in the living room. But his computer is in the family room.

Now we decide to move the computer stations around the house. We sit back to back in the family room on our computers so the router wires can reach both computers and the computers are not plugged into the same electric outlet.

I purchased a wireless connection for one of the computers and off we went. Furniture was moved yet again in the living room so that Mountain Man could move his desk into there.

The desk was first emptied and reorganized. Old paperwork made good fire started in the wood stove. His computer was taken apart and out from the computer cabinet in the family room and reassembled in the living room on his desk.

The computer cabinet is a narrow one to fit into the space it is in, so it doesn’t have a lot of desk top space so I went and cleaned out some space in a drawer in the a piece of furniture next to the computer for its related stuff.

My computer was taken apart and moved into the cabinet and we fired them up.

Things being what they are for us, the new wireless contraption was not strong enough to get the signal from the family room to the living room. So I had to move the computers, printer and personal stuff all back into their original places again.

Mountain Man and I have had it. No more movement of things in our house for a while. We feel like cartoon characters running back and fourth and getting no where.

On Cartoon Like Capers, Part Two:

Now in the story, the carpeting is all cut up in small manageable hunks along with the old padding and hauled away. We go out to get the new rugs and guess what happened? No Guess. Really Guess!

They were out of our chosen wool rugs despite the assurances that they would be there on the day we came to pick them up from the carpet store. We got our money back and hit all the likely and unlikely places for cheap rugs and came away with only one medium sized rug that was not wool, but man made fiber.

Having removed all the furniture from the room it felt like the time to rearrange the room. Now, I’m in the habit of moving a few pieces around now and again. But the book cases generally stayed put. I was in the mood to have the tall ones where the wide ones where and the wide ones where the medium sized ones were.

In the end we discovered there was a reason that they were where they were. The light from the large window was blocked by the tall book cases, and the wide ones blocked the electric outlets.

They just fit right where they had been, so most of them went back to their same old places. Furniture and books were brought back into the room and life resumed.

We did get rid of a box of books as we went through them. Recycled to the second hand book place in town.

Of course this was not the end of the story. After a day of killer headaches from the off gassing from the not woolen but man made fiber rug, we moved the furniture off of the new rug and took it outside to air out in the cold for a few days. Not enough days by the way.

I continued to clean in other parts of the house to make more room for our ever changing lives.

The drawer I decided to clean out was full of glass candle holders. Clear glass, colored glass, patterned glass. Tapers, cup and plate type. Dozens of them wrapped in tissue paper.

I pull the drawer out to put it on the table in the next room to put them in the pantry. And you guessed it. It slipped from my hands, and crash smash, I spent the next few hours cleaning up broken glass fragments.

I’m still finding bits and pieces of broken glass in far flung places.

Only a few candle holders were salvageable with small chips and they were the cheap ones I didn’t care about. Now I’ll have to find new ones to make my three tiered candle centerpiece display on my round table.

On the up side I do have more room to put things that were looking for a home. But still the more we worked, the more we felt like a cartoon version of ourselves.

More tomorrow…

On Cartoon Like Capers, Part One:

Okay, so you know how in your mind you have it all figured out. You know where everything will go and how its going to look in the end?

Of course you do. We’ve all done it.

First I’ll take you back to the beginning.

We had ‘old’ carpeting in the living room/parlor. Wall to wall. We got it from Mountain Man’s mother when she redid her living room 22 years ago. Old! Green. Carpeting!

So, in front of the one large window I had my house plants. Hanging plants, table plants, standing on the floor plants. A Victorian jungle of plants.

Plants being what they are need watering and watering leads to spillage every once in a while. The carpet would also get wet on these occasions. And after years of repeated wear and tear, wettings and dryings, The carpeting under the plants needed to go.

Now our house was once an ‘out building‘. On a farm if a building is not a house or a barn, it is an ‘out building‘. This ‘out building’ was first a chicken-egg business, then a lawn mower /auto repair fix-it shop. It was then left as a junk catcher and store-it spot for years after Mountain Man’s father died.

We married and moved in. First we washed off the concrete floors and cinder block walls and finished the place off. New inner walls, ceilings, carpets or rugs over the concrete floors in most rooms and flooring in the bathroom. We added plumbing and more walls to create rooms and spread the electricity around. We made it into a lovely house and home.

One day last month I discovered that the carpeting under the plants was getting all funky and falling apart. So we decided to remove the carpeting there and have the plants on just the concrete. Cleaner and neater. But as carpeting does not have an edge to it we decide to take up all the green, old, wall to wall carpeting and replace it with rugs in the rest of the room.

I have no less then seven (7) book cases full of books in addition to the various other pieces of furniture in that large ‘L’ shaped room. All standing on said carpeting. Needing to be moved off said carpet, so the carpet can be removed.

Now imagine a cartoon-like Lady Deathwatch going back and forth with armfuls of books and making sliding piles of books all over the house so that said book cases can be moved and said carpet can be removed. Got that picture in your head.

And now add the furniture from the large living room/parlor to the rest of the house. Not a lot of room to move or live in the rest of the house. I couldn’t get to my computer for days. This took up the better part of last week and why I didn’t get on the web.

More tomorrow…

On Non-Holiday:

We do not do Christmas at our house. Nor any other ‘Traditional’ December holiday.

Not that I’m complaining or judging. I’m glad for any who have a reason to celebrate. Being a non holiday person, I do try to avoid the merriment of others.

So in saying this I’m trying to get my point across.

I’ve been avoiding the web. Just a few more weeks.

In other years I’ve focused on other things that were going on. One year I had my dolls do Christmas. Another it was the Coraline film fun.

But nothing has caught my attentions in a positive way this year.

And I want to be positive. In these hard times I need it as much as the next person.

So I’ve been looking the other way, waiting for the time to pass.

I may be a little spotty trying to getting through the days.

But come January I’ll have plenty to say. Until then have a great time doing what ever it is you are doing.

On Lost In Sim-ulation:

I finally got close enough to my new computer to load ‘The Sims.’ Hours of downloads, patches and improvements before I could really play them.

I own all of Sims 1 and Sims 2, and some of Sims 3.

And yes, I play with them all.

Sims One is comical.
Sims Two is rich in relationships.
Sims Three is evolving.
And I must say, much better now that there are so many patches fixing the problems. (I still don’t like how you loose so much progress when you change families in Sims 3.)

I do have a liking for the little people in my Sims world. I don’t know if it is mothering or being a goddess of all power in their world, but I can’t get enough of it.

It is a Goth world and that helps. I can work in the morgue, be as kind or mean as I like. Rewards come with hard word and consequences are sprinkled out in good order.

Not to say that there are no surprises, because there are. And of course death comes. It comes with haunting and headstones or reanimations. Zombies or not it can be interesting.

I wouldn’t want to be a Sim. But ruling their world is what I call a good time. And the time does go. Flies by in large amounts.

Well now that I am reacquainted with my little friends I need to get a few other things done. We are pulling up the old carpet (From back in the seventies.) in the living room and fixing the floor under it, sections at a time. I hope it is all done by New Years Eve.

But I‘ll have to keep my head out of The Sims if that is going to happen.

Think I can do it? Time will tell.

On Laundry Thoughts:

I think a lot while doing household drudgery. I was doing the laundry the other day and added a few things that hadn’t been used for a very long time. Baby things.

While laundering them I was remembering things from both my children’s and my childhoods. Stories mostly, and the unending need to teach children at any and all opportunities.

This lead to the changing times. How the stories read to me were so vastly different then the ones my mother grew up with and how the ones available to my children were a change yet again.

I had the opportunity as a child to read the books my mother still had from her childhood. And my mother and I would often discuss these changes.

While my mother thought that all things being painted as beautiful was great. I felt it a shame that children were being sanitized by stories where all ended good each and every time and caution was rarely, if ever, taught.

I offer you ‘Struwwelpeter‘. Or ‘Slovenly Peter’ the English translation.
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/12116/12116-h/12116-h.htm

And the Wikipedia info here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter#Stories

Life was I little more Gothy for kids back in the day.

On Love And Longing From A Distance:

Okay, So I’m loving my new computer from a distance.

The computer tower is off gassing and I’m allergic to the gasses.
Blinding headaches since it was unboxed.

So, as long as I stay out of the room in which it is in, I’m good.

I have been running it from afar to try to speed up the process. Fan going and window open in that room. I don’t know how long this will take, but I hope not too very long.

I’ve been watching Internet TV through the doorway. Not the experience I was hoping for, but better then nothing at the moment.

I’m learning how long I can hold my breath as I run in and change the channel or start another download update.

On another subject, It is deer hunting season here in Pennsylvania. Mountain Man is butchering freezing and canning a deer that a neighbor gave him. He didn’t go out hunting yet this year and now he may not.

Even though I’m a vegetarian it doesn’t bother me that he hunts. He eats meat and I don’t. I’m a Goth and he’s not. We just have differences. It keeps things interesting.

So while my husband cooks and cleans the bones. I watch Star Trek - Enterprise from across two rooms. Yes, I like Star Trek Enterprise. People love it or hate it, and I’m in the love category. Even if all I can get is on a computer screen far, far away.

I’m longing to type stories, visit people on the internet, and play my games, but that will just have to wait for another day.

On The Delivery Truck Just Left:

The new computer is here!!!!!

Not yet hooked up and running, but soon. Then after downloads and upgrades, configuring, tweaking and transferring of data I’ll be back in business.

This may take a few days?

A lot of new things to learn with Windows 7 as an operating system. And the loading of all my many pictures and info alone, not to mention music and the like.

I prefer to move my data myself instead of transferring it via the internet.

I need to get a few cables and such. This will be my all in one entertainment system when I have it all done.

I got an HD monitor for my new tower and hope to be watching internet TV in HD by tonight.

I’ll be back on Skype, blogging regularly again, and pictures, pretty pictures for all to see.

It took a long time to save enough money, but I now have my new computer and I’ll be naming her soon.

On None To Soon:

My laptop Gladys is dieing. Some days she just won’t start, others she goes all wonky and she doesn‘t let me on line.

I’ve been missing what all of you have been up to for the last two days. I do try to keep up when she lets me.

I guess I ordered my new computer just in time. It should be here in a week and a half, I’m told. And I can’t wait.

So if I go missing again know that this was Gladys’s last gasp. I do hope she isn’t just intimidated by the new one coming here to live.

But I’ll be back as soon as my new computer, (Yet to be named.) will get me where I need to go, and in shiny new style.

On The Throes Of Indecision:

So I am still in the throes of indecision, but past the point of feeling like throwing things.

I hate that moment of finality when I get all buyers remorse and want to throw myself down screaming ‘No! Stop! I’ll make a better decision tomorrow! I can’t take the pressure of a possibly bad decision that might come to haunt me! And what if something bad happens in between.’

And yes they do. Like say the range I picked out a few months ago that came late and broken, then replaced and dented.

So I panic. I just had to stay off the web for a few days or else I just might have canceled the order for my new computer.

Now it is too late. They started making it to my specs and the check is in the mail as they say.

Yes, it is the one I wanted and more. I saved my pennies and I don’t have any guilt about the one I ordered. I just don’t want the delivery truck to get into an accident and I’ll have to wait yet again for them to make me another or some such thing.

I could have just taken one off the shelf and had it in my hot little hands right now. But I was just picky enough and frugal also, to get more for my money by having it loaded with only the things I wanted at the level of power I wanted.

It is not a super gamer, but it will do.

So now I sit in fear of a lemon. After Rupert and his ‘on and off’ electrical troubles you would too.

I’m glad I don’t get like this with all my purchases. I’d be a flaming wreck.

I’ll be tracking my computer until they are through making it and it travels to my door. Not because I can’t want to get flying on those internet pathways again, but because I’m just a bit paranoid like that where shipments are concerned.

But when it get here all nice and new and working perfectly, and I can breathe again. I’ll be loving it. All self torture forgotten.

On Autumn Prep Time:

Day light savings time is now off the table, or clocks at the case may be. And the days are darker here in the northern hemisphere.

As a Goth I’m in heaven.

The trees are getting all skeletal and stark. The nights are longer then the days. Those vivid colors are almost gone, leaving a black and white and gray world.

I kind of missed Halloween this year. With the new baby, traveling to Boston and all, it kind of got lost. It has made me concentrate on the autumn time itself.

One of the things I love about Autumn is that it is the prep time for Winter, with out the deep cold. You get to enjoy the naked trees and bushes, baron fields, open empty forests in monotone. The open loneliness of the out of doors as people move inside to get out of the cold.

The breeze is chilly and crisp. It pulls at you, to hurry you along. Warmth inside the house is awaiting. You can hibernate more and people don’t blame your Gothiness.

Not that there isn’t work to do. Because there is quite a lot of it. Buttoning down the house for Winter. Clearing the leave away from the house. Preparing the garden for next growing season. Setting up the wood pile for easy Winter access. Getting out the Winter things.

From blankets to thick woolen socks, sweaters to mittens, cocoa supplies to baking goodies, things must be prepared for the long Winter to come.

It is a nesting thing I think. Comfy and cozy. Safe and warm.

But I still get to go outside into the stark cold lonely view from my window and dream while I walk around without freezing my ears off. Heaven.

On Computer Home Stretch:

I am almost there in my dead computer replacement. I have been pinching my pennies and pouring over the latest makes and models.

I can’t wait to be able to show you pictures again. Sooo many things I’ve wanted to show you over the last few months since my old computer ‘Rupert’ started shooting sparks.

I will have to find a name for the new computer also. I’m leaning toward a girl this time. Enchantress, Dysenteria, and Morticia are on the short list. But more names keep on coming up for review. I’ll know it when I hear it paired with the new computer.

I will confess that I also want the new computer to video phone (Skype) with my grandbaby. I can see him, but he can’t see me right now. Not that he can see all that well at this time, but I want to be visible when he can. And I still want to be a blob on the screen as I talk to him with his current viewing abilities.

We are going out to look at a few computers later on today. I’ll order direct from the company, but I want to take a look in the stores just the same. And who knows, I may hit a sale on one of the ones I want.

It will take days to get all my stuff organized and into it once I have the new computer, but I’ll be able to fully function again. And that will be just lovely, don’t you think?

On Crafting Reborn:

Now that there is a little one in the family again I can’t wait to start working with fabric again.

I loved making cloth toys for my kids. From patchwork quilts with roads and parks, soft blocks and toys, to dolls and dress up costumes. My sewing machine was rarely put away in those years.

I have been hatching some lovely Goth ideas for toys. (Still in the working stages.) Time to raid the fabric stores after Halloween I think for fabric with bats, skulls and black cats on them.

I’m not sure how the parents said grandchild will feel about them. But I think that the kiddle will have fun.

I can’t wait to unearth the sewing machine and get working on a few things. I’ll have to wait until Mountain Man can get my large plastic boxes of fabric out of storage.

As of yesterday, the kitchen sink is back together complete with a new fixture, for those who were waiting with as much anticipation as I was.

Now I can move on to crafting up a lot of fun.

On Routine:

I’m trying to get back to my old routine. Trying being the operative word.

I keep being distracted. Mostly by things being out of place. Man logic strikes again.

Seven pairs of shoes in the kitchen so he didn’t have to walk to get them from the bedroom eight paces away.

Nine hats on the backs of chairs. My stair stepper has been changed into a coat rack. And the kitchen sink has been taken apart. These being only a few of the changes.

Was I gone that long? Didn’t he know I was coming back? Wasn’t he on the phone nightly, begging me to come home early?

I’ve decided to move these things back into place as I march around the house at my exercises. Killing two birds with one stone as it were.

You can’t sweat the small stuff, but sometimes it can gang up on you and break your routine.

On No Place Like Home:

Well I’m home and missing the grandchild as well as his parents.

It does feel good to be home though. My own bed and no late night screams for food. (Not that I had to wake for that part of it.)

I’m not good at leaving my comfort zone. I can and do leave it. But I don’t like it. And when I have to go on a trip, I bring way too much stuff. (Although I did pack lighter and used all but two things this time around.)

For me ‘home’ is more then a place to hang my hat. It is an escape from the big bad world. It’s not the things in it, it is the things that are not here.

No ridicule of the way I dress. No one dictating the way things are done. No following others schedule. No missing my TV shows. No putting up with food not to my liking.

Not that going to my daughter house is like that. Because it is not. In fact they try hard to make thing nice for me. From fresh flowers in my room to special food in the house just for me.

But no matter how many nice things that surround me else where. There is no place like home for me. I can be totally myself at home. Even if the self I am, is the one that is missing my grandson.

No real worries though, I passed the torch to his other grandma. Not that they couldn’t handle it, but no one does as well on too little sleep.

And I’m now sleeping through the night in my own bed. There is no place like home.

On Abuse:

I have been peed on, pooped on, thrown up on and had my ears pierced with blood curdling screams and I’ve been loving very minute of it.

How do those little bundles of wrinkled flesh wrap us around their very little fingers so tightly?

I’m tired and achy and happy as a lark.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ready to be a mom again by and stretch of the imagination. But I have to admit, I’m loving this Grandma thing.

Even with all the unintentional abuse.

On Remarkable Babies:

Well, for now, I only have eyes for the Heir Apparent.

I am smitten. Blood curdling screams, red angry face and all.

Despite the poking and prodding by doctors, nurses, and technicians, he is a good baby.

He has conjunctivitis and his eye is goopy, but he is not very fussy and only cries when he is in need of help or food.

He has a cute crooked smile and is rarely not in motion in one way or another even in his sleep.

He doesn’t mind my being a sub for his mom and dad as they get some much needed sleep.

He could hold his head up from the first moment of birth and does so at every opportunity.

Yes I am biased. But still, to me, all babies are remarkable.

(I am still committed to not making this into a Grandma blog so just bare with me as I gush over him at this time. I‘ll be back home in a week or so and have my mostly boring old life back again soon.)

On New Grandma:

It is official, I’m a grandma!

But enough about me.

It is a Boy! The Heir Apparent.

In the wee hours of the morning.

Mom was in labor for almost 40 hours. Hard labor for most of it and she almost had to have a C-section. (She wanted to deliver naturally.)

He was turned to the front causing much back labor and his umbilical cord was short, making him unable to turn freely.

Dad is a trouper and a big help.

The little man is lovely and has all ten toes and fingers. 7 pound 12 ounces. 21 inches long.

I’m in love with every inch on him.

On A Quick Update:

I’m in Boston. I’m waiting to see my new grandkid, any time now. I’ll let you know more later.

On Walking And Waiting:

The weight is not coming off as fast now. I am still loosing, but slower now that my body has caught on to this new activity.

I am still walking around in circles waiting for that first glimpse of grandbaby. I want to smell that new born baby smell. Hear its coos and cries. Change its poopy diapers.

Boy? Girl? I don’t care! Health? I sure hope so.

I want to knit little things with the sex of a specific cuddly crying infant in mind. Not that I am into the pink and blue thing. But frills or no, would be helpful. (And just for the record, if my grandbaby is a boy and wants frills or a girl who does not, they can have it the way they want when they are old enough to state a preference, but it must be the child’s choice.) I think you now want I mean here. Something knit with that baby in mind.

They are not even telling the names they picked out until it is born.

It is harder to feel involved when you don’t know the sex or name choices.

But I know that the waiting will be over soon. I will survive this time. I will forget the waiting. As soon as I see that ugly scrunched up baby face.

Two heads and ten legs… I don’t care. I have this love all bottled up just waiting to be poured out on this grandkid of mine.

On Being On Track:

I have been on a self imposed weight loss program. It is more of a muscle building thing, but it has been taking most of my time.

While shopping the other day I realized that if I had to walk around with a fractious infant for any amount of time, I’d poop put in no time at all. Yes, I let myself get that out of shape.

So, I have been walking and walking and walking on a track, carrying ten pounds of weights in my arms. And I’m now walking for a few miles at a time.

The up side is I’ve been loosing weight again. I’ve lost five pounds so far. I really do need to work off those extra 30 pounds I gained last year, and then some more. 220 pounds is too much for any frame and mine is on the small side.

So I’m at 215 and dropping. And with the help of an almost grandkid I’ll be loosing some more.

I really did need to have a way to work off some of this baby waiting nervousness so I put it to work for me.

On Thank You’s And Waiting Some More:

Thank you for the kind words of healing.

I’m doing better today and I’m still waiting for the results of my tests. And will have to wait until Monday now that the work day is almost over.

So now I’m wait for Baby and the Doctors Office. And the one hangs on the other.

I’m not good with the waiting stuff. I never have been. I try, I really do. I keep busy and try to be pleasant, but it still gets to me.

Mountain Man will be happy to have me gone for a while. I’m making him a bit crazy with my clock watching and phone hording.

I’m going to bed early and watching some Red Dwarf, a sure mood lifter.

Tomorrow is another day.

On Not Now:

I have been sick again. I don’t know what is up this year. Wicked sore throat. Swollen glands and a stiff neck.

I can’t go see a new grandkid when it comes like this. I’m off to the Doctor tomorrow.

Here’s hoping that I get over this new bug fast.

On Spending Vs. Saving:

Yesterday we made ginger-pear butter and did more canning of pears from the pear tree out back of the house.

Today was shopping day so we were out most of the day. I needed a few things and we wanted to stock up for things needed this Winter. It was an all day shopping trip. I hate those and I’m glad it is over. I don’t know why I’m missing the shopping gene, but I don’t have it. I can’t wait to have any shopping trip over even with the savings.

I’m a thrifty spender and hate parting with money when I’m saving for something I need. I am still saving for that new computer. And the closer I get to my goal the more I hate parting with cash.

It was needs vs. wants so I spent the money. I’ll wait for weeks, months even, for a sale to save a few cents. The sales came and I went out shopping.

We are shoppers that go by the rule, That if you don’t have the money you don’t get it. So even if we use a credit card, the money must be there to pay for it before it is purchased.

The computer will have to wait a bit longer.

On Winter House Button Up:

It was a busy weekend. We were getting ready for Winter.

Moving wood piles closer to the house. Putting plastic over windows that won’t be opened for the season. Airing out bedding and winter coats.

Collecting the fallen leaves. The ash trees in front of the house are bare so now the leave can be moved so they stop coming in the house every time the door is opened. The oaks still have half of their leaves but they won’t fall off until Spring. Oaks are like that.

The chimneys got a thorough cleaning. Of course they will be cleaned more times through out the season, but it is always nice to have a fresh start.

One thing after another, but it feels good to have it all done.

It was a bit early this year. But with the baby coming and the early cold spell, it just seemed right to do it now.

I don’t need to have a house fall on me. After five mornings of frost I’m ready to button up the house for the Winter.

On Another Day Wasted, But In A Good Way:

Well, the snow never came so I didn’t make cookies. Not that my waist line needed them.

Today was very blustery. The wind didn’t know which way it wanted to go and whipped around all helter-skelter. It was a good day to have a fire in the wood stove and keep a cup of tea close by. That is when it wasn’t belching smoke forced in by the fickle wind.

I managed to waste time playing a video game called Ranch Rush. I fed fake cows, sheep, and ostriches, planted crops, collected honey, and made jam, bread and ketchup. I did this for far too many hours, but it felt good because I hadn’t been playing my other games since my computer broke.

I got a lot of house cleaning done in between days farming in the game. I like to get the dust and dirt out before I close up the house for the Winter.

I keep on waiting for the phone to ring. It is getting closer to baby time.

There is still weeks to go, but you know how it is when you’re waiting for something. You want it now.

I’m off to bed early to read and snuggle under the covers. The wind is still making noise outside and I just want to feel all warm and cozy.

On Stiff as a Board:

Well today started with a stiff neck and after hours of a hot water bottle I can now move.

Of course, the only things I have time to do now is the house work then it will be off to bed again.

I am glad it is over, but I just hate to loose a day.

The day was cold and wet. They said snow flurries on the weather report, but I didn’t see any.

And I was looking forward to first snow cookies.

In our house, Every year the person who sees the first snow flake of the season gets to start a batch of cookies and everyone else has to join in. (Not a hardship around here.) It is one of our home made holidays.

If it does snow before I go to bed I’m on those cookies like white on rice.

In fact, I think I’ll stay up a little later then usual just in case. Wouldn’t you do the same?

On Old ‘B’ Grade Sci-Fi Movies:

I just love old ‘B’ Grade Sci-Fi Movies and for some reason, for me they are best watched in the Autumn.

I can’t get enough of them. I laugh my head off over these gems.

Things that come from other plants. Giant things that eat or destroy a town. Mummies, Zombies, Vampires and Mad Scientists. I like them all.

Who could resist titles like:
Monster From A Prehistoric Planet
Cosmos War Of the Planets
Creature From The Haunted Sea
The Giant Gila Monster
Doomed To Die
The Ape
First Spaceship On Venus
They Came From Beyond Space
Frankenstein’s Daughter
Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter
The Monster Maker
The Terror
Attack Of The Monsters
Vampire Bat
Devil Bat
Voyage To the Prehistoric Planet
War Of The Monsters
Gamera Vs. Monster X
Warning From Space
Assignment Outer Space
Little Shop Of Horrors (A Classic)

Just a small sample of my DVD collection.

Oh, the things that could scare us way back when.

Toy spaceships on visible wire against a painted back drop don’t frighten they only amuse. Hokey dialog, Poor plots, and some down right bad acting bring tears of joy to my eyes.

There may be some great comics out in the world, but the way to make this Lady laugh is to show her a good old ‘B’ Grade Sci-Fi.

On Knitting for the Homeless:

Well I got the bag of hats, scarves, and mittens topped off. I did a major knit-a-thon on Sunday, and from the time I got the yarn a few weeks ago until now, I have a grand total of (Drum roll please!)

19 hats
14 short scarves and 1 cowl
17 pairs of mittens

I did have to replace my old double points because after making so many pair of mittens and socks with them over the last few years I wore a dent in the wood, making a collar around each end.

I still have more yarn and I do have to get more of them to the shelter because there is a turnover, but it is a good start for this Winter.

I wish I had a picture I could show you of the colorful pile, but until I have a new computer that will have to wait.

On Welcome To Goth-hood:

Well I haven’t been talking much about my Gothiness lately.

Not that its gone away, because it hasn’t. I just don’t feel the need to constantly state the obvious.

But will Halloween coming up I do want to add a welcome to all who don’t feel free to be Goth on the outside unless it is a costume party or holiday.

It is a tuff world out there and I for one don’t want to add to another Goth persons load. Not all Goths have a full measure of flashiness. And they just don’t feel the need or have the ability in themselves to wear the ‘out there’ cloths and makeup.

I knew what I liked and that it was not the same as anyone around me. And from a very young age I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

And as a Goth who doesn’t judge other Goths, I also remember that first step into Goth-hood. (Though for me, it wasn’t called Goth way back then.) I had no role models or groups or anyone around that even thought like me.

I was in the closet because it was that or be sent to the funny farm for a depression I just didn‘t have. I just liked dark stuff and it made me happy. So for years I thought one way and acted another.

Not until there were other Goths to associate with, could I let my true self out. And/or even admit my gothiness to myself.

A big step for a person like me, standing at that time in the late 60‘s, in a world of hippies, drugs and free love. The natural movement was just getting a start. It was all about feeling good, happy and loving.

Bucking the system was the way to go, but only in a pre set of parameters. Communes are not the place for people that don’t play well with others. And no one wore black but old ladies who couldn‘t keep up with the times.

So from someone who got here the hard way. Welcome to Goth-hood. Your not broken, Your just different. And we like it that way.

On 10-10-10 Plans:

What are you doing on this odd dated day?

I should have been paying more attention to the weather. But I wasn’t.

I woke up this morning to frost on the ground. It was so nice to see as long as we have a warm fire in the wood stove.

The white fuzzy furriness. The down right cold nip in the air. The chill that goes through you.

Countered with the extra blankets on the bed. A cup of tea at hand. The crackle of the fire in the stove, with the dogs snoring underneath it.

All I could think of was warn woolen sweaters, socks and scarves.

The pile I’ve been knitting has grown of hats and scarves for the homeless. I will have to get them down the shelter as soon as possible.

I have a fairly good house and fuel for the Winter. But others do not. I am lucky at the moment and I feel I must share the wealth. Because when I was in need others, strangers, have helped me.

So for the rest of the day I’m going to top off that pile of hats, scarves and mittens I’ve already gotten started and get them to the shelter.

The cold is coming!

On Looking Upward:

Today was a lovely Autumn day. I was looking at the last of the color in the trees. And guess what I saw?

An Eagle! Flying over head. It skimmed the trees just north of the house.

We have had them moved into a State Park a few years ago. This park is a few miles away so I would look skyward every time I got a chance.

And just when I was thinking that they just weren’t going to come my way for whatever reason eagles reason with… There it was just flying low and circling higher.

I watched it for over an hour doing its lazy circle dance in the sky. Before it got too high to see any longer, it turned off toward the park and home.

This is not my first bald eagle sighting, but it was one of the longest and the closest.

They are intimidating in their largeness. It felt like if it had landed on my house with its wings still spread, it would have more than covered the roof, front to back, of my ranch style house.

I felt a bit like a hobbit must have felt in the Lord of the Rings at the part where the eagles swoop down and flies off with the main characters in their claws. I got that shivery feeling down my back.

I hope it comes back to visit again.

On I Remember My Grandmas:

I have been thinking about my own grandmothers lately.

They are both long gone, more than 30++ years ago.

Of the two, I remember my mothers mom more. It was location more then anything. She lived around the corner and the other was over an hours drive away. And back in those days that was a day trip.

The first house I lived in was my Grandma’s. My parents were saving to buy a house.














This is the house from the back. With my mom in the side yard, before World War II, if you want a time reference.

Because of my grandma that house was a haven from the rest of the world. We were eight of us in a four room apartment. My parents rented out the upper floor apartment to help pay for the clothing and feeding of the six kids.

At grandma’s it was loving care, order and discipline. The food was good, hot and plain. Things were done on a schedule. They didn’t put up with roughhousing or poking about. But underneath it all was a sense of humor. Jokes flew, mostly over our heads. Giggles and laughter lived at both of my grandma’s houses.

And a sense of peacefulness. The quite comfort of an afternoon nap on the rug in a sun puddle. While grandma snoozed in her armchair rocker. The quite warmth of the hiss of the radiators in the winter. A place to go when things weren’t ‘as one would like’ with too many people living at home.

My father’s mother died when I was 14 and my mother’s mom when I was 23. But never a week passes by that I don’t think about them in one way or another. For the things that they taught me or the experiences I had at their knee.

I want to be a grandma worth remembering.

On Just a Quick Message:

There is a new story up on my ‘Thrill or Shiver’ story blog. It is a Halloween tale called ‘Halloween Pizza’.

I put it up early so I don’t miss the chance depending on when the new grandchild arrives. Enjoy, or should I say, Enjoy the Shiver.

On Childhood Reviewed:

As the time gets closer to being a full fledged grandmother I find myself thinking about when my kids were born and their early childhood and even my own.

I find myself watching cartoons and kids shows more then adult TV. To see what is out there for children these days and to jog a few memories.

The only thing that works better is the smell of crayons.

I do wish that they lived closer to me and I could be a more hands on grandma. But I have been collecting a craft box for visits. Not that an infant can craft, but you can’t start the box too early.

By the time the Little bat is old enough, I should have a good collection of things. Paper towel tubes that slide into each other, to be turned into spy glasses and kaleidoscopes and any number of other things.

Buttons and beads, ribbons and strings, a rainbow of colors in paper. Glue and paste, plastic wrap and tape, tin foil and sparkles. Safety scissors and rulers, crayons and markers, pencils and pens.

I’ll throw in dowels and some food coloring too. Some news print and wrapping paper also. We will mix in imagination and a willingness to have fun.

And out will come kites and large paper hats, enough animals to full up a zoo and a tea party for two. Anything we want, we will make or make do, and have all the fun we can concocted. And if we don’t it wont be for the lack of stuff in the craft box.

It has always turned rain days into holidays before and I’m counting on it working in the future.

On Mess Accumulation:

How can a house get so messy when I was hardly out of bed for days?

I just went from pillar to post today putting things away and cleaning the rest. Tomorrow I get back to knitting. My hands are itching to have something crafty to do again.

I have kept off the five pound. Not one came back when I started to be able to eat again.

I have been doing light exercises. Mostly because my legs and arms still feel like they are made from spaghetti noodles.

We got out to go shopping for food and a few things. I picked up a copy of ‘Wind in the Willows’ on DVD for the Little. The stop action animation one I like so much. I found myself singing the songs from it even though I haven’t seen it for years. I must have liked it even more then I thought.

I even got to water the plants today before they died on me.

I wanted to play, but I buckled down and got a lot of things done. And that feels good too.

Now for some video game fun. See you tomorrow.

By the way 10-10-10 will be here soon. Are you doing anything special for it? I’m still thinking on what I will do.

On Couldn’t I Used To Get Into That Dress?:

First I’ll ask a question or riddle as it were.

How do you loose five pounds in three days?

A: Exercise like a Mad Man day and night and Extreme Diet.

B: Go to a Doctor and have him/her Suck it out of you along with a lot of your money.

C: Get so awfully sick that you can’t eat, while you eliminate everything you’ve got for three days.

Ohhhh! Ohhhh! Let me pick! Please! Pretty Please!

I did Letter C for the last three days.

It was no fun I do have to say, but on the flip side I lost a dress size. And a lot of my wardrobe opened up to me again.

On the down side I missed three days of my life and I still have 70 pounds to loose.

Back to eating right and exercising the rest of my butt off.

So I’m off to make my egg free, fat free, sugar free Banana Wheat Germ Cookies in my new oven. It’s the first day I could think of food since I got it. The better to diet with my dear.

On Or Two In The Bush?:

Should I have tried it a third time? I think not. Bird in the hand and all that.

My new gas range is here. There is a dent from the top to the bottom on the right side. Even the frame is bent at the bottom. I could cry.

It should look like this. (I have to link you because my note book won’t behave with pictures.)

The dent is on the side you can’t see when it is in place, so I can live with it. I just would have liked to have a new stove that looks new even where you can’t see it.

I sucked it up. Got a 20% discount. And had them bring it in.

I now sit with the old one in place because they are not allowed to touch the gas pipes and I couldn’t budge the coupling. The new one in the walk way and the back door off its hinges and propped up against the refrigerator.

Yes, they would have replaced the door, but I just wanted them out of here. (And once we get the old one disconnected we need to have to door off to get it out of here.)

Mountain Man is out of town for the day. And I’ll have to wait until 7:00 PM for him to help me put everything to rights. Good thing it’s a nice day out there today.

It will all be right once I can cook again. I am reserving happiness until I can see it is in fact working. Time will tell.

On Roof Repairs Today:

So far, Ms Mousie of the Knotty Mouse Blog took me up on my tagging. She commented to say she would post it there. A great blogging friend and wonderful person.

If you heard any kind of news on yesterday, you know about the rain and flooding we were/are having on the east coast. Here, we got more rain in a day and a half then we usually get in a whole summer season.

Over five inches here in my garden. In a word, Wet!

It rained in my parlor too. Pots, pans, and plastic wastepaper baskets were placed about to catch the many drips.

And the water came down the chimneys. Stinky, black, creosote water. We have chimney caps, but they weren’t enough for the rain and wind we had.

Mountain Man was away for the day and I was on my own until he could make it back home at two in the morning. (He would have gotten back by ten if not for the detours.) Did you know that Pennsylvania has more bridges than any other state? Bridges that get flooded in weather like we had yesterday.

The water is going down and we needed the rain for the water table. We have well water here, no rain - no water.

Mountain Man will be up on the roof today fixing the leak and I will be nervous knitting until he is safely on the ground again.

On Tag - Your It:

I’ve been tagged to do a meme by Mack-Attack of Teen Invasion.

I am torn. As some of my long time readers know, I don’t play well with others and don’t generally do meme’s as I am passionately opposed to chain letters/emails of any kind.

Rules are: Answer 8 questions posed by the tagger and ask 8 different questions of your 8 tagged persons.

1. What is the most random thing you've ever said? ‘When In doubt, go for shock value.’

2. Has anything embarrassing happened to you at school, and what? As school was a long, long time ago… I decline on lost memory cells.

3. What is the most random song lyric you can think of? Go to sleep, you little fool.

4. Do you like nachos? No

5. Who is your favorite celebrity? I’m not fond of celebrity, in general, it makes most people shallow.

6. Do you LOVE SpongeBob?? I don’t know him personally, so I will reserve comment.

7. Did you know that most of these questions are pointless, and are just wasting your time? Quite!

8. Did you know that this is the last question? Duh!


Here are my Questions for anyone who chooses to tag themselves. Let me know in a comment and I’ll put in a link to your blog in a future post so you can get the extra viewers who want to know what you have to say. And for those that Don’t have a blog, you can get your two cents in on the comments.

1. What is your Favorite Animal/Bird/Reptile, real or fictional?

2. Goth or Not?

3. Excluding Black, what is your favorite color?

4. Do you prefer: Reading a book or Watching the movie?

5. Are you a crafter?

6. Do you like giving presents or getting presents more?

7. What is your addiction? Mind is food.

8. If you could live anywhere, where would you make your home?

I hope you are enjoying yourself!

On Crawl The Way Home:

This Little Piggy started her day with house work. I was getting a lot done and I even did some laundry while the sun was shining. (Its suppose to rain again tomorrow.)

If you remember, yesterday at my house it was very windy. And a lot of leaves and other things came down out of the trees. Markedly the acorns from the oak trees. We had a unusually large acorn year. Many, many more then usual.

My clothes lines are located between some of the trees at the edge of the oak grove to the west of the house.

Picture this: Me walking to the clothes line with a basket full of laundry. Very, very many acorns hiding under the leaves on the ground. You guessed it. I was heading for a walk on a field of marbles.

Like a slow motion comedy my feet started to move faster then my body and in all directions. I went one way then the other as I tried to stay upright. Clean laundry spilled out of the basket. Wiggle, twist, wiggle, spin and down! Once, twice, thrice.

I laughed and cried. On my hands and knees I picked up the now mucky clothes. I tried to get up one more time, and down I went again, this time twisting my ankle.

I had to crawl my way back to the house, towing the laundry basket behind me. I have a swollen ankle, a bumped up hip, a black and blue elbow, some scratches and cuts, and a wounded pride.

This Little Piggy had to do the laundry again, but this time I hung it inside.

I have prescribed ice packs, knitting, and watching ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle Show’ cartoons on Hulu (Free Web TV) for the rest of the day. I'm just thankful I never hit my head.

On Upside Down Day:

Yesterday was a slow quite steady rain. Today is a wicked wind from the East.

Dark gray skies like a blanket. Leaves flying sideways. The trees become more naked as I watch. The light seems to be brightest at ground level instead of the sky itself.

It feels close and open at the same time out there. The wind pushing on you feels close and oppressing. The openness of the lessening leaf cover give an open unprotectedness to the day. In a word ‘frightful.’

Deliciously Frightful!

I couldn’t wait to get out my black velvet cloak and billow in such a wind. I wished for a flying Broom?… Carpet?… Wings? I wanted to fly and play in this dangerous buffeting wind. To roll and dive in, with, by the power of wind.

I shiver, but not from cold, it is rather warm out there at the moment. I shiver from the power and a bit of fear from the wind and its might. It pushes through the cloth of my clothing and I feel it on my skin all over, sensual. If I don’t take care it could knock me down, or more likely knock something into or down on me. I defy it by standing my ground.

The air is damp and heavy. I tire from the fight. I make the choice to go inside and watch from the window with a cup of tea. But I plan to go back outside and play again in a little while. It is too much fun for me to pass up the opportunity to play in a warm wicked wind that makes you feel upside down while standing in its path.

On Rainy Day Hush:

Today was rainy day slow. I cleaned up around here, made soup on the wood stove, and knitted, but I didn’t get much done. I kept on finding myself looking out the window at the rain falling and remembering.

Some of my earliest memories are of Autumn afternoons watching the kids come home from school. Of leaves swirling in the breeze around their ankles. Giggles on the cool clear wind.

I wanted to be out there and one of them. My mother would catch me not napping and put me back to bed. But I could still hear them outside on the side walk. Even on the rainy days the children would walk in the afternoons past the house in Autumn and find the fallen leaves fun.

My children liked to walk in the autumn and collect leave each year. We would tape them on the refrigerator and around the door frames. And we would press them in old telephone books for crafts and picture fun. Turkeys, and fans, and birds on wing.

Colored paper, paste, crayons, and togetherness.

I missed those times, and I sniffed at a box of crayons, and remembered.

I remembered the rainy day afternoon hush.

On Headache Delay:

I woke with a headache this morning and spent most of the day trying to get rid of it.

I managed a little knitting this afternoon.

I watched ‘2001: A space Odyssey.’ Its been a long time. I thought I remembered it better then I did, and I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would.

I found it a sad reflection on what some people thought the future would be like by now. Too much reliance on computers as infallible, not enough movement in global togetherness to work for every ones good.

The weather has changed cooler, so I’m liking that. I did have to keep the stove going, but the house didn’t over heat.

My headache is almost gone, so I have hope for getting a lot accomplished tomorrow.

On Life Reflections in the Colors:

I was walking, and I have to say, it was almost a perfect Autumn day. I little warm, but it was just the right kind of dry that the fallen leaves crunch satisfyingly under foot. And if you shuffle your feet you get that wonderful sush sush noise.

It smells like Autumn. The sun light is Autumn. The breeze is Autumn. It is Autumn.

I am more of an introvert in Autumn. I think, and remember, and distill my life in Autumn.

I put the pieces of my life and experiences together, work on the patchwork quilt of myself. The self I show others, and the self I don’t.

I feel that everyone should have a piece of oneself that they keep to themselves. Not necessarily a secret, just something special to remind yourself of who you are that is different from others, so you don’t get lost easily.

I have lost myself at times. And don’t want to ever do it again.

New relationships come to mind. Busy times like that make loosing yourself easier. New turns in life like motherhood.

I would much rather live a hard life in the presents of each moment then a wooden life of planning to someday live with plenty all around me.

On Marvelous Maxfield Blue:

I just love the sky in the evenings in Autumn. They are all Maxfield Parrish Blue. So very many shades of blue blended all in one vista.

Don’t get me wrong I still like the gray skies of winter best, but those blue Autumn evening skies are marvelous.

This is not the deep assure blue of the day time, it is the gradation of blues from light aqua on horizon to a deeper sky blue over head.

The assure blue sky is lovely especially with the oranges, yellows and reds on the trees in the Autumn sunlight. But I can’t get enough of looking at the blues in the evening.

Have you looked at it? I mean ‘really’ looked at it? You can see the colors changes as you look up and down the blue expanse.

I am sorry to you who live in places of the world that just don’t have this view of the sky. And frankly I wouldn’t want to live anywhere I couldn’t see it. It mesmerizes me. Just light refracting off the atmosphere. But what a light refraction.

Here is link to Maxfield Parrish’s most famous painting with his signature Autumn blue sky. http://www.maxfieldparrishonline.com/1926a.htm

On Writing Stories Again:

I have a new story on Thrill or Shiver called ‘Autumn Afternoons.’

It is in two parts and I posted the second one first and the first one last so they read straight through when you go there.

Feel free to let me know what you think of it. I’m always up for learning from my feedback.

On Knitting Winter Readiness:

On Knitting Winter Readiness:

Now that the canning and freezing is done for now, (The apples, grapes and other later season fruits and veggies are not ready yet.) I have hit the knitting needles again.

A very kind person gave me three large boxes of yarn for use in making hats, scarves and mittens for the needy. Mostly I will be making these things for the women’s and children’s shelter.

I got off to a good start with a hat, one of those short scarves and I started a pair of mittens. Of course they are being done in my sons name and this years totals will be kept at the Kevin’s Mittens blog.

I hope to make as many as I can before the new grandchild arrives near the end of October. I’m not knitting much for the baby yet until I find out if it is a boy or a girl. I did knit a few toys and some general items, but I’m waiting until I know sex and sizes. With luck and time I’ll have those boxes of yarn transformed into hats, scarves and mittens by then.

I did take some time to walk and look at the leaves change color today. I’m am not an orange person. That is to say, I’m not a fan of the color orange at any other time of the year. But orange is Autumn to me, and Autumn is my favorite time of the year. The vivid orange colors are beautiful.
______________________________

Oh, and for those who have asked, I still do not have the new gas range and we are using the old wood cook stove for now. That is why I was extra busy with the canning this year. Hot hard work to say the least. The new black gas range is on back order. I’ll let you know how it is going on that front as I get info.

On Thankful for Followers:

I’m back from canning and freezing food. And I’d like to say just how thankful I am for my followers.

I love you guys. And thank you for sticking with me while I was busy and not blogging daily.

The first few months when I blogged, when I didn’t have any followers and not a comment was made, were painful. I felt like I was screaming alone in the dark. Not uncommon for me, but not what I was going for here in blogland.

After about six months or so of daily blogging some comments came. Then a follower. I still remember that day when I looked in and a follower was there in my following column. I wasn’t alone anymore. Someone wanted to see what I had to say enough that they wanted a heads up when I posted.

I was sooo flattered, sooo happy, but at the same time I felt sooo responsible. No longer did my words just bounce off the black nothingness of space. I needed to up my game, entertain, hold onto my truths with both hands, so I didn’t become a phony.

You have gotten me through some dark days of things too personal to blog about. You have made me smile, correct myself, and keep to the true quest. You have told me when I full if dirty socks and dead worms, and I thank you for that too.

I still thrill when a new follower swells the blog total and I hurt a little when one leaves.

I am a better person because of you, my follower friends, and I thank you daily from the bottom of my little old dark goth heart.

On Anticipation:

I grew up with anticipation. We waited for things.

Instant gratification was few and far between. In fact the work and waiting was part of the things to come.

We would make decorations for birthdays and holidays for weeks before hand, we would weave stories about how it will be to each other, we would make plans for who will be involved in our good fortune.

I have been waiting for my new gas range to be delivered. Dates were arranged, plans were put into place. People were told so that they could come and see it. Sharing in the gleaming newness of the thing, and partake in the first meal made on it.

The range was delivered to the store, confirmations were made. Time and delivery was set. People were getting ready for a day of food and fun.

The day arrived, party clothing put on. Food ingredients readied. And we waited watching the clock for the delivery time. Anticipation mounted…

And nothing happened….

A phone call was made…

The range was damaged falling off the forklift during the loading of it on to the truck to be delivered to my house.

I am not cooking on it, the party disbanded.

I am waiting for a new delivery to the store for another one, as mine was too damaged to be delivered.

But this time I am not enjoying the anticipation.

On A Windy Day:

I just enjoy a blustery day. Autumn blusters are best, but I’ll take any I can get.

I got a lot of laundry done today. Not just because it dried fast, but because I had an excuse to be out in the wind.

I can’t help myself. I just have to throw out my arms and experience the wind against me. I play with it.

I like the tease and tingle on my skin, the leaning fight against it, the smells it brings to me. I like the way it wraps my clothing tight around me.

I feel alive and invigorated. Like anything could happen. Just fly in on the wind.

On Time Slippage:

I’ve been bored and boring here as I am every year during canning season. Each year the garden gets a bit bigger and there is more produce to put up in many rows of canning jars or in the freezer. And it still doesn't feed us for a full year.

I hate to neglect the blog, but there are only so many hours in the day. Even my Goth lovelies hang in the closet while I stand all messy in my stained apron and sweats.

Some days run late and others start early. They are long and repetitive.

As the hundreds of jars and containers of garden glory gets processed, I once again start to hate gardening, canning, and our ‘sort of’ self sufficiency lifestyle. This is only a temporary condition.

People have lives while we slave away. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I may miss the better parts of August and September, but I do get the time to relax the rest of the year.

When the time stops slipping away under these repetitive tasks I’ll be back to my odd, silly, self in no time.

On Time to Update:

Well, since I was here last.

We’ve been canning and we are still doing so.

My father and step-mom came for a visit. We had a good few days of talking while visiting and getting things done.

They have been making the rounds of visiting kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. And I learned from Dad that other family members have also been doing contact juggling too. (I think, as a family, we think a like, don‘t you?)

I am knitting at every stolen minute I can. The kids are coming to visit this coming weekend and I what to give them some more baby gifts.

I have found that the contact juggling has been a good opposite-knitting exercise. When I knit for too long my back and neck get tight, but now with doing the contact juggling it loosens my back and neck right up. And my hands and arms are getting stronger too.

I have been noticing that autumn is starting to creep in. Some leaves are starting to change and the air itself is changing.

I think of pumpkins and colored leaves, the smell of pencils being sharpened and new books.

Favorite things are coming, like autumn and new babies, knitting and playing, cooking and snuggling down in readiness for winter.

On Surprise, Surprise:

First surprise was Lady Long is able to walk again. Not well, but she is up and about. Well not that I’m letting her because she is still convalescing, but she can walk and that is very good news.

Second surprise was Mountain Man took me out to order a new gas range. I haven’t baked all summer because the oven on the gas range died back in the spring. And lets face it, it is just too hot to bake in the wood cook stove if you don’t have to. It should be here by the end of next month if not before. (Oh and I ordered it in black, that is why I have to wait. Only white in stock of the one I wanted.)

Third surprise was the canner blew a gasket. We all jumped when it went. Steam and corn all over the place. One of the jars broke and the corn clogged the spout.

No one was hurt, thank the powers that be. We did get to use the new canner. Good thing we got it before the old one blew. We were out of safety plugs. And would have had to quit canning until replacement parts could be gotten. A lot of lost food crops.

Oh and no surprise, I bought a few more balls to practice with. And I have tamed a new trick. Now to perfect it.

So surprise, all is good, though still hectic around here.

On No Rest for the Weary:

Lady Long the dashund dog is lame at the moment. She hurt her knee and started limping and that lead to her putting her back out.

So now she is literally dragging her butt. They have her in steroids and bed rest.

I’m not complaining, she has been a very good dog for almost thirteen years. I love her and would do most anything for her and do.

But, it is really cutting into my time. I don’t have time to think these days.

She seems to be getting slowly better. I am very grateful for that.

And the veggies need canning, and the house needs cleaning, and the laundry needs washing, and I have to be the dogs hind legs so she can go out and do her business, and I have to get exercise…

Busy and missing my friends here.

And I need a long, good nights sleep.

On New Skills:

I’ve been so proud of myself lately. I’ve been learning a group of new skills with my Contact Juggling.

The best of these is catching dropped or bumped things before they hit the floor.

I use to be a ‘jump back and let it crash’ person. And felt good if the mess didn’t actually get on me. Goody for me, at least I’m clean, while I clean up the mess.

Well, I am now at the point where I don’t have to think before I act. My hands fly out and objects are snatched from the air. Not that I catch every drop, but I am getting so much better it.

So, the other day I was cutting up veggies for canning. Glass jars aplenty round about. I’m flitting here and there doing five things at once, as usual.

And my knife falls off the cutting board.

Yes, you guessed it. I caught the knife point down with my hand. The heal of my hand had the knife sticking out of it.

I’m on the mend. And I’ve learned a valuable lesson.

Think, concentrate, and watch what you are doing. All skills are not appropriate for all situations.

On A Balance:

I could say, ‘I should have done this years ago.’ but I won’t. I feel that if it was time than it would have happened that way. And apparently I had other things to learn first.

I am happy I found it now. Who knew that contact juggling would help me in so many ways? I do know that now I am more balanced in so many ways.

I’ve learned to balance things on me, so now I’m more steady on my feet.

I’ve learned more patience as I practice, therefore I’m have become more patient.

I schedule things better to get my practice time in, and my day runs smoother.

I have a better ability to concentrate, so now I can work more efficiently.

My fun quotient has grown, so I don’t fret and worry as much.

Now that I’m doing so much finger exercises, the finger that was put back on after an accident has more feeling then it has for a long time. Over 25 years.

I needed more basic funny and joy in my life. Daily I had many happy moments in my life, but I wasn’t joyful from the inside out.

I was content, but not calm. I had no greater goals in life, only project completion.

I didn’t know it, but I had misplaced my silly side, now I can clown around again. My life felt full, but it was just crowded.

Learning to balance balls on my body, arms and fingers has set me straight.

I have struck balance in my life with this Contact Juggling and I can’t tell you haw much it means to find it again after so long.

I hope with all my heart that you have, or can soon find, your own balance too.

On Bad Fushigi:

I have been doing Contact Juggling regularly for two months now. And I just have to say before anyone else falls pray to the commercials Don’t Go Out and Buy One Of These Fushigi Balls. The commercial is false advertising.

There is no magic ball that can make you a Contact Juggler overnight. There is no ball that floats in air. These are tricks that take a long time to learn.

If you don’t believe me you can read the fine print on their advertising. Oh no, they just say that the people doing the tricks are professionals. And don’t explain their lies.

Well, you can just go to Contact Juggling .Org to check things out in their forum section listed under ‘Community’ on the left column.

Yes, you can do some tricks from the start, but you don’t have to buy an inferior made ball like the Fushigi ball to do this. There are more then enough free tutorials on the web to teach you these tricks and more using everything from an orange to a glitter ball.

And it takes many month, and for some tricks years, to perfect them. Much more time to be good enough to have a number of tricks to perform.

The Fushigi ball is not a good quality product from those that have bought one and the tutorial video is lacking. Many people are going to free web sites and YouTube to learn what the Fushigi video doesn’t teach, so why bother. For the same twenty dollars you can get the real thing, a clear acrylic ball, at a better quality.

And added to the lies are those who believe them and then turn around and mock the jugglers, who have taken years of their lives to learn this trade, and do not give them their do.

Jobs have been lost do to the Fushigi false advertising. Jugglers get paid by their skill and this commercials lies about a magic floating ball and the ease at which it is learned, this has hurt contact juggling to the core.

If you are thinking about buying one for yourself or someone else, please do your homework first and get a good product and backing from an organization that cares.

On Another Friday the Thirteenth:

I just don’t get it. They really aren’t different from any other day of the year. I’ve watch them for some time now and nothing ever happens to make me see them any differently.

Oh, I wanted to believe. A magical configuration of stars, numbers, and the time space continuum. The missing socks don’t reappear, keys aren’t any easier to find. Nor do things go bad any more often.

I could use the excitement. A special day of interesting happenings.

So now, Do you believe in Friday the Thirteenth?

Tell me why, I really want to know. I was fun back when I believed. Maybe I can believe once again.

On Not so Quiet Please:

Mountain Man has been in the house a lot lately. Mostly on his back on the floor napping. This has led to a lot of quiet around here.

When he is outside working I have music or the TV/DVD going, more for company than entertainment.

I grew up in pandemonium. Oldest of six kids, all within ten years, no twins. In the upstairs apartment were two more kids. The neighbors to the left had five kids, and to the right nine. Behind us was the family that had seven, and across the street were two families with three kids.

And our little cluster was not the only one in the neighborhood. There were the houses on the other sides of the ones adjacent to our house.
There were more kids in our yard than blades of grass most years I was growing up.

Though I only had two children of my own, we had foster children and neighborhood kids a plenty at our house most all the time.

Than I met and married Mountain Man. I moved out of the city and into the country. My daughter was still living with me/us. She had friends around. But that was many years ago.

I’ve found I don’t like too much quiet. I crave the noise of people around after a time when I’m by myself.

When we work we often have music or the radio on a talk show and we chit chat. But with his napping it has been far too quiet for me for far too many hours of the day.

It’s just not natural. I need a little noise.

On Body Parts:

Mountain Man is almost standing upright again. Thank you to all who sent him well wishes. His back is doing much better.

We are still canning veggies, but not with the same rigor. I steal a few minutes here and there to do some contact juggling practice. Gotta’ keep those fingers nimble. No knitting.

I’ve been over opinionated again and have gotten myself in trouble. You’d think by this time in my life I would have learned. But ‘Open mouth, insert foot.’ is available to all age groups.

Right about now in our canning I want to be off on vacation. It doesn’t help, that as a kid, August was vacation time. So in my head it still is.

I am a day tripper, not a go off and get lost-er. I like small excursions to interesting places. I’m craving a cool air conditioned museum about now. Art. But not modern. I’m not in the mood for modern at the moment.

Not that there is anything wrong with modern. I like it well enough, I’m just not in the mood right now.

I want to vacation inside, I think because I’m a bit sun burnt on my nose and ear tips.

So I’m going to put on some classical music and troll the museums of my mind, while we cut up yet more green beans. With my toes in a plastic bin of cool water.

What better way to spend a hot August day.

On Back to Back:

Well, I’m not doing as much canning today.

Bet you can’t guess why?

So, I’ll tell you. Mountain Man the Invincible put his back out yesterday. When he can get up he is all hunched over, but most of the time he is on his back with cold packs and heat alternately.

And of course I’m doing all there is to do around here. So this is short and sweet. It may be a few days before I get back to you here.

Please, not a few more days of all this work by myself.

Okay, I’m done venting. Back to work.

On Being Choosy:

Busy, busy! So much to do, so little time.

The plants in the garden seem to want to give us all their goodness at the same time. Or close to it.

It is a lifestyle choice made long ago and we still love it, even when we are so tired we fall in bed late at night, for days in a row.

Gotta’ get the food put up or go hungry come winter/spring of the following year. Some people work and pay for what they eat, We work to make the food for our table for ourselves. The hard way. Our choice.

There are days when I’m so tired and sore from the work of it, that I curse the choices I’ve made. But they are far and few. I plant a smile across my face and forge onward. I know how good it will taste to have home grown soup on a cold winter day.

I don’t know how long it will take before I can’t do this anymore? But for now I choose this. Hard work and home grown.

On Zucchini, and Green Beans, and Tomatoes, Oh My!:

Yes, we have Zucchinis by the bucket and we didn’t grow a one of them. Friends and family send them our way.

The green and wax beans, and tomatoes are taking turns going through the canning pots today. We have two canners, but are not using them both at the same time yet this year.

Hard work in the humidity. But food for the winter must be processed in the summer. Not too bad really. Better then the years we didn’t get
much at all from the garden.

There are the berries and greens and cucumbers that have been gracing our table too.

Canning Season is upon us. Glass jars tinkling, radio sing, canner hissing, chopping knives keeping the rhythm.

I’m trying to have the time for ball practice. I fear some days I won’t make it.

Thought for the day: “Large tomatoes don’t body roll as well as I had hoped.”
Extra Quote “I clean that up right away.”

On Rainy Day Chainmail:

I’ve been playing with chainmail today. Rainy and not as much time outside to practice contact juggling. I do practice over the bed, but not as much room to go all out.

I do have to make changes to my Goth clothing for practicing Contact Juggling. Long necklace chains, broaches, ruffles and lace are getting in the way just now.

Wishing I had some pretty new acrylic balls to play with and knowing I’m not at that level yet.

So, I made a whole bunch of links out of 12 gauge aluminum Floral Wire this afternoon. The same stuff I made the Ent tree costume branches out of. You wrap it around a rod and snip the links off one by one from the long curl.

Then I went and worked on circles in chainmail. I made a bunch of hot plate trivets using the colors I had on hand. Red, gold and silver. I have black, but I’m keeping it back for another project. Brown and green all gone on other projects. I don’t think I ever had blue and I‘ve never seen purple in my local craft store.

I have more multi ball practice to do this evening as I watch TV tonight. I’d do it in my sleep if I could. It still makes me giggle every time.

On ‘Being Lost’ in a Good Way:

I’ve been too pensive to write. Not in a morose way. But Happy.

Very happy in deed!

Silly happy, like a child. No time for work or things that are suppose to be being done. (Though I did do some of those things.)

Mountain Man took up standard juggling again, as I told you the other day.

I do not juggle, well not in the traditional sort of way. Once the objects leave my hands they are doomed. I have no depths perception to speak of. No, standard juggling is not for me.

I do, and have always, love orbs. I have a collection of them. Marble, plastic, glass, stone, wood.

I have now been very busy with contact juggling. Some call it Fushigi like in, I believe, Japan. (Don’t get caught in the ‘Fushigi’ product scam. But more on that another day.)

These balls rarely leave the body and if so only for the moments they float from place to place, hand to hand.

Do not believe the commercials you have seen on TV. Contact juggling is hard work and long practice to pull off the illusion. But since the movie ‘Labyrinth’ with Michael Moschen’s hand as David Bowe’s orb spinning villain. No, even before that. I have wanted to learn the art.

But I couldn’t afford the crystal balls. If I could, I wouldn’t have taken the chance of hurting one to use it in practice. But now there are a wealth of fairly inexpensive acrylic balls on the market. (In comparison to the crystal.)

Small balls start at about $10 and the larger hit $40, and we are only talking 2 to 4 inches across here. I don’t have any of these beauties yet, I‘m still practicing with silicone filled.

There are two kinds of contact juggling, multiball manipulation starts its practice with smaller balls and body rolling starts its practice with larger. A good contact juggler can do both with medium size ball/s and make it seamless.

I am now lost in a world of illusion and orb magic. And I love it here. I’m a kid again play with balls.

On Hacky Sack Promises:

Here is the Pattern for the Hacky Sack juggling balls I promised.

The picture are not here. My camera cord is not working and Mountain Man’s computer doesn’t have a memory card reader slot. I don’t have a converter either. When I do I will post this again as an extra post with picture.

While making this I tried a few different patterns and the ball shaped ones made for a oval sack after a few uses. So I went with a disk ends and tube sides style and it worked just fine. Keeps its ball shape after many hours of play.

Crochet Hacky Sack (You can go color crazy. All the knots hide inside.)
Filled with dried beans or plastic pellets.

I used ‘Sugar’ n Cream’ cotton from ‘Lily’ for the larger ones 2 1/ 2 inch, 6.5 cm and size 10 crochet cotton for the smaller ones 1 3/ 4 inch, 4 cm.
Some other people use embroidery thread for this and it looks less dull at first, but using the balls takes care of that new look.

[ ] will hold the extra instructions for the smaller size. All abbreviations are first used in text in ( ) after the word.

Size F hook [Size 0 zero hook]

Chain (ch) 4, slip stitch closed into ring.
(Use fairly tight stitches (sts) so you don‘t loose the fillings.)
Row 1- Ch 2, (this equals first stitch), then single crochet (sc) over chain and tail sc 8 stitches sts into ring. (9 sts) Join with slip stitch at top of first stitch. (Pull on tail string to close hole if too large and knot.
Row 2- Ch 2, sc in same stitch, *(sc X 2) *in each stitch across row. (18 sts) Join.
Row 3- Ch 2, sc in same, *(sc 2, sc 2X in next st.) *repeat 4X, sc 2. (24 sts)
Row 4- Ch 2, sc in same, *(sc 3, sc 2X in next st.) *repeat 4X, sc 3. (30 sts)
Row 5- Ch 2, sc in same, *(sc 4, sc 2X in next st.) *repeat 4X, sc 4. (36 sts)
[Row A- Ch 2, sc in same, *(sc 5, sc 2X in next st.) *repeat 4X, sc 5. (42 sts)]
Rows 6 - 10 - sc in each stitch of previous row. (36 st) [42 sts]
[Row B- Ch 2, sc 5, *(skip (sk) stitch (st), sc 6) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.
Row 11- Ch 2, sc 4, *(sk st, sc 5) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.
Row 12- Ch 2, sc 3, *(sk st, sc 4) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.
Row 13- Ch 2, sc 2, *(sk st, sc 3) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.
Row 14- Ch 2, sc 1, *(sk st, sc 2) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.

Add Beans, I used soy beans, but you can use pony beads or other plastic beading/ stuffing sold at craft stores.

Row 11- Ch 2, *(sk st, sc 1) *repeat 4X, sk st. Join.
Cut 5 inch tail.

Here I add as many beans as I can get into the little hole to make it fairly tightly filled. (In a short time of use it will feel a lot looser.)

Take the tail and pull it through the other side of the hole and pull tight then knot to close and tuck tail inside.

Addition: You can make a size in between using the size 10 crochet cotton and zero hook and pattern, by adding five more rows; two more increase and decrease rows and another plain row in between. (Going smaller with the Sugar’ n Cream and size F hook pattern didn’t work as well.)

On If Its Tuesday, I Must be a Balled Senior:

It is in fact a Tuesday. Around here Tuesday is Senior Citizen day. Senior discounts in stores, free samples, free parking at some locations, that kind of stuff.

This leads us to shop on Tuesdays, because we are not stupid and who wants to spend more on something if on Tuesday you can get it for less.

We get an extra five percent off our groceries bill on Tuesday. Barring a few items such as booze and smokes, which we don’t use much of at all and not smokes ever anymore.

I get most of my exercise on Tuesdays, walking around shopping and hauling groceries into the house.

Mountain Man and I have been looking for fun ways to exercise and he has found juggling again.

I have these balls for exercising my hands against my carpal tunnel syndrome. On occasion, Mountain Man would take them and do a little juggling with them. Then he would leave them, not at all where he found them, and I would spent time looking for them before using them myself.

Today Mountain Man confessed and announced that he would be adding juggling to his exercise program. (So I would know where my balls were going when they disappeared.)

I fixed him. I grabbed my crochet hooks. Okay I dusted them off first and in less then two hours I had made him seven juggling bean bag balls. (Hacky sacks) Four small and three larger. More to come when my hands stop hurting. Did I mention that crochet aggravates my carpal tunnel the worst?

I got my balls back. I really need them now, of course, I’ve been crocheting. But I really like making him things he can use and he likes.

Tomorrow I’ll post the pattern I came up with. The free ones I found on the web were not the best.

With pictures!!! Mountain Man finally agreed to let me load the picture program for my camera on his computer.

On Breathing My Last Mall:

Well the humidity has broken last night and I have been going great guns cleaning and getting things done. No more Malls for me.

Projects - I opened the end seams on two feather comforters. After shaking the feathers to the other end. One was not as full as I’d have liked and the other had a few holes in the cover. It was leaking.

So I opened the end seams about 12 inches. And sewed the two together so that the feathers from the leaking one could get into the other.

After a lot of fluffing, outside by the way, I got all the feathers into the good ticking. I sewed it closed again and tossed the holey cover away. Still sticky with feather detritus. Not worth trying to collect.

I also did a little fun knitting. I started a stained glass window throw. I got the info from a segment of the TV show ‘Knit and Crochet Now.’ The instructions were suppose to be free on the web, but I couldn’t get the download to work. I improvised and I like what I got. Long, knitted, colored, six sided shapes held together with black crochet. With a few squares in between and triangles on the ends and corners to fill it in and make the throw a rectangle in shape when finished.

And by the way, the shopping at the mall over the weekend was at Hot Topic. (First time there.) I found it a bit vanilla. I raided the Clearance rack. Got a few wrist cuff pretties and a gray tank top. Oh, and more then a few ideas for other projects.

On Under Cover of Mall:

I have been missing in action again. The humidity just got too much for me and I felt like I couldn’t breath.

I ran away to the Mall. Air-conditioning! Breathable air!

Now, I don’t generally do the mall. In fact I have only been there once since 9-11. And I was, in fact, at the mall when 9-11 happened. Or I should say when I heard about it early that morning.

Yes, I was at the mall before it officially opened for the day. I had a pick up, but that doesn’t matter. And the once in between, was to get my Doc Martian boots.

This time, I was chased by the high humidity into the ‘Shopping Mall’ just to breath. You just can’t spend the whole day in Kmart type stores without going mad. In the mall you can move around from place to place and still be inside.

Though it is an interesting place. Many sparklies and odd people to watch, it is not my kind of place, mainly because it has many sparklies and odd people inside.

I did not get to go there in my Gothic full Lady Euphoria Deathwatch mourning garb. Heck, I didn’t even have my black nail polish on, as it had been chipped away by myself in my nervousness at my lack of breathing capacity. And no makeup as it had been melting off my face at home. (No, I didn’t bring my makeup kit, I was thinking about breathing.)

I did wear black as that is what most of my clothing choices are. I felt naked and woefully under dressed. And so far as mall persons go, I was just one of the crowd. Not a comfortable situation for one such as me. I like the wide space around me that my look generally provides me.

Nor did I have my computer. I did by a book and read for a while, but I couldn’t give myself over to the book because I had to have an eye out for any who would take advantage of the situation. (Like grabbing my purse or packages.) Yes, I did it. I couldn’t resist some of the sparklies.

The night in between was hell. The heat and humidity seemed all the worse once I was away from it for a while. So I’m going to try not to go back. I do know more then ever, that I do not like shopping malls. Just not my kind of place.

Now, How scary would I be if Gothy me just showed up at the senior center for a breath of air today?

On A Bit Of Up and About:

Well today the weather was nicer. I went outside to get some air and exercise. It was still hot and a bit humid, but nothing like the last week. I walked around until the breeze died down and the bugs came out in droves.

It felt delicious. Nothing like being stuck some place for a few days, to make getting out in the yard feel like a vacation.

No knitting today. I made a chainmail necklace. I had bought a flat, out line tree, with bare branches in black metal and it came with a little tiny bird on a tiny chain, in the jewelry parts isle of the craft store a few weeks ago. I wanted to make a necklace with the bird to fly over the tree, but it took me a while to think of a way.

From (480) 7mm silver plated jump rings, I made a chainmail sheet, 4 x 6 1/ 2 inches or 10 x 16 cm coming to a point at the center bottom. I hung this from a large solid wire ring necklace at the top. Picture a tall rectangle with a triangle attached at the bottom made from chainmail.

I added the tree at about the bottom third mark and the bird on the chain at the upper third mark, but a little over to the right, making it look like the bird is coming in for a landing on the tree.

I really like how it turned out. I still can’t get my pictures out of my camera and onto this ‘Gladys’ computer. She just can’t handle it.

I can’t wait until I have a computer that can get pictures onto my blog again. Sorry about it. Until then, You’ll just have to take my word for it.

Enjoy your day.

On How Not to Scare the Kid:

A have been working on an idea for the baby. Some books about the baby’s family. (Both sides) Trying to keep memories of dead relatives alive and passed on without being morbid. Or ‘How to be Goth to a grandchild and not let your Goth show too much, so the parents don’t hide it away from the kid.’

Using 10 page/20 sided, 6 x 6 plastic pocket photo albums, I’m making picture books of the family, live and dead, with small child captions and info about the people in the family.

I put in colored card stock paper in the plastic pages and making it like a simple style, mini scrap book with the plastic keeping the pages safer from and for the kiddle.

And I’m hoping it will be a nice parent/child ‘read to me’ time for all of them.

Sorry for the grandma moment, there won’t be many, but the idea was too good for me not to pass it on. I’ll show you some pictures when I get it/them put together.

That is, when I’m up and around so I can work the printer and get it put together.

On Knitting Through the Hours:

Been a bit quite around here. I didn’t want to get into a ‘feeling so sorry for myself, stuck on my back in bed’ thing.

So when I felt it coming on yesterday, I kept my mouth shut. The rest of the day I listened to the storms roll on through.

And I knitted. One and half baby sweaters. Some rows on that bed throw that won’t get itself done. (Too large and time consuming to want to spend hour after hour at it.) Some rows on a baby blanket. Started another grownup size sweater. And made a pair of mittens.

Not bad for a two day slouch-a-bed. Back to feeling ‘life is good no matter where you are, because it could be worse.’
______________________________

Thanks for the get well wishes.

On To Laugh or Not to Laugh:

Some days you get the point across and others you don’t.

Today I write my blog while stuck on my back, because I put it out yesterday when my chair broke under me, throwing me to the floor. I laughed.

I laughed then and I laugh now. I laughed through my tears when the bug stung me yesterday.

I say this because I’ve been having a bit of a run of bad luck and laughing it off. But this has not been coming through in my blog writing.

I don’t know if my cup is half empty or half full at any given moment, but I do know that how I choose to react to the world around me either helps or hurts me.

So here I lay. Flat on my back. My stung foot up on a pillow. Looking over the frames of my glasses at a blurry world. And I choose to be having the time of my life.

I got a good bed to be stuck in, books to read, TV and movies to watch, snacks, knitting, dogs and a husband who loves me.

If I bitch and moan I repel others of whom I need to help me. But besides that, I only make myself more miserable. So why do it?

I choose to laugh at myself and my bad luck of the moment. Sorry I didn’t do a better job of letting you join me in the fun.

On You Thought What?:

Well, Obviously I wasn’t thinking at all.

I went out into the brown and dying lawn with a ball, the dogs, and my bare feet.

I thought to give them some exercise before it got too hot out for the day.

I guess that part of it was okay.

I policed the area for leavings and cleaned away any piles. Good thinking on my part. (Smiling to myself.)

Anyway, I’m watching the dogs and where the ball is going. Who’s turn it is to catch. But not the ground where I am stepping.

In no time at all I stepped on a stinging bug and my foot was all swollen by the time I could take the few steps into the house for my benadryl.

Back to knitting with my foot up for me.

I should just keep my gothy self inside and never try to see the light of day. I don’t like the sun on my skin anyway.

Now if I could only rig up a ball thrower that interacts with the dogs I’d be golden.