Wednesday, August 13, 2014

On Time and Watching

I am glad that I came back to blogging the other day.  It was not to find a place to vent or ponder thou I do those things here too.  I came back because I wanted to visit friends and maybe find a few new ones.

Timing makes being here now a necessity.

A relative is dieing.  Health and age play a role.  But this is not always the case.

I ponder death often.  It sits in the corner of the room quiet…  Listening…  Waiting…

This doesn’t mean that I court Death.  But we are friends of a sort.  I am not depressed or suicidal.  Only aware.

I know Death because I’m old enough to have seen it many times.  I’ve been in the room as older relatives have breathed their last.  I have buried my own child.  I have held their cold lifeless hands after that last good-bye.

I have also looked death in the eye.  Three heart attacks behind me and a few close calls with allergy attacks has made Death all too real for me.

And now I am brought back to the place where we are on watch yet again.  The parade of relatives and friends march on by.  Some look around…  peeking in corners to see just how close death lurks.  Others are afraid.  They keep their distance so that Death can’t come too close… or brush their arm in passing.  As if Death may accidently take them too.

I know that there is no escape.  I am happy to wait.  I am not foolhardy.  I take no risks or chances.

I do not court Death… But I am aware that Death is never very far off.  Daily the news tells me of the latest celebrity death, or accidental death, or murder.  No, not far at all.

Life comes with an expiration date.  No one gets out alive.  Accepting this is not easy for some, but we all must admit that it is true.

It is the sadness and loss that hurts the most.  We tell Death ‘Go away!’ ‘Don’t change my plans for a future once imagined with this person.’  ‘I want to write a future and make plans without your interference.’   But Death is deaf to our pleas.

So we hurt and are sad, we feel the loss and pick up the pieces.  We cry, hold hands, listen to each other.  We wait…  to feel better…  for it to be over…

We wait… for Death to move from its corner and claim another life sometime soon.   We are feeling helpless and all too vulnerable as we wait.

Friday, August 8, 2014

Facebook isn't Real Life

Now that I’m creeping my spidery self back along the web again.  Pun intended!

I’ve found some interesting ‘new to me’ blogs.  I hope to find others in the limited time I have each day to play in the flower garden of blogdom.

Its great to know that Facebook hasn’t killed blogging altogether.

I personally do not like Facebook.  I find it a money making, intrusive, gossipy, …   Well, Don’t get me started!

I only spent one day there and had to go hid under my bed for a week.

Its this ‘friends’ business.  A thinly cloaked method of stroking ones ego to control ones mind or loosen ones tongue.

I do not need Facebook to measure my self worth.  I do not have to say the right thing, play the right games, or do whatever the current thing of the day is, to accumulate more and more ‘friends‘.

People have been led to believe that saying personal things is quite okay to do.  Lives have been wrecked.

I have personally lost relationships over this.  Relatives that after running out of secrets of their own to spill move on to secrets of others to feed their need to find something new to say or gossip about on Facebook.

All with a ‘This is a good  thing.’ air because, ‘It can’t be bad if I have so very many ‘friends’ now that I’m interesting.’   To hell with the consequences of ones actions.  That is someone else’s mess to clean up.

(Don’t get me wrong, I know that many people are truly there for perfectly reasonable reasons.  They don’t tell or engage in malicious gossip.)

And then there are the Games there.  With the people who bother the heck out of others to play a game.

This isn’t a one off game of the moment.  It is a commitment to play day in and day out boosting each others scores.  Enabling each other to gain greater power and levels.

I use to love playing these types of games, minus the Friends aspect.  You can’t find one of these types of games on the market any longer unless you go to Facebook to play.  And Facebook constantly harasses as you play to buy, buy, buy more points.  Real money for nothing really.  A chance to get ahead in a game.

To me Facebook feels like place full of addicted people praying on others.

I’d rather spend my time on real friends and self improvement in mind, body and spirit.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Ukulele Torture, Of Sorts

So, Like I said a few days ago I’ve purchased a Ukulele.  Just a cheep starter Kohala.  Not known for their quality.  Cosmetic flaws and such.  I had to reduce the action on it also.  (For those that don’t know and care.  That means making the strings closer to the neck so you don’t have to push so hard to make the chords.)

But I do have to say that the one I got has good sound and excellent resonance.  Meaning it doesn’t sound all that bad.  Fairly good really for a cheep Ukulele.

So I dressed her up.  (Still deciding on a name for her.)  I got out my markers and did a little scroll work on the front.  Added a few stickers numbering the frets, (those little bars across the neck) and under the strings reminding me of the keys the strings are tuned to.  G C E A  My dog has fleas.  (What ever that is suppose to mean.)  Now I had a good learning instrument.

And off I went.  Contorting my hands into the odd assortment of positions meant to make music from a stringed instrument.

The first few days were nothing less than torture.  In a good way of course.  But still, I do have to replace the cotton wool used up in the ears of all those in hearing distance.

And two months later I’m playing my favorites along with the obligatory Uke standards in a reasonable manor and having way too much fun doing it.

Now the torture is only one way.  As my song preference is not popular with the neighbors, they will just have to keep on closing their windows for an hour a day until colder weather hits.  

What started this Ukulele Mania is a bit complicated.  First off my grandmother had and played a Ukulele.  (Not strange for her generation.)  and I loved hearing her play it as a kid.

Second is my eclectic tastes in music.  Few things I don’t like there.  Thou they do run to the dark and odd side of things.

Third is my sense of humor.  Enter the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain.  I’ve enjoyed them for years.

I’ll just let you go and watch them while I get back to playing the Masochism Tango on my Uke.
Link to Tom Lehrer doing it here.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Life: I Love It!

I guess it was my post title that made people think I was not doing well.

I am doing great!  Health is good.  Attitude fantastic!

In most all aspects of my life I'm having a gothy great time!

Nothing is perfect of course.  It wouldn't be life if it was.  But I'm not complaining.  Its just a fact.  You know that as soon as you turn around a flec of dust will fall, the dishes won't wash themselves and something will need to be put away, straightened, or fixed.

Life: the moving river of stuff one deals with at any given moment.  I love it.

There are challenges, quiet peace, laughter, pain, contentment, frustration and enlightenment all open to our experience.

And than there is creativity!

Crafting, writing, sewing, knitting, crochet, cooking, singing, playing an instrument, dancing, designing, decorating...

You get the idea.  Everything from adding your own special touches to making something completely new.  It just adds a richness and texture to living.

Its just a part of what I look forward to each day.

So here I sit.  Rose colored glasses firmly in place.  And although much is black in my vision.  That is just the color of things, not my attitude.

Monday, July 28, 2014

On Not Dead Yet

Its been a long time.  I don’t know if anyone is still out there that cares, but here goes.

I'm not sure if I'm back to a daily, or even a weekly blogging experiance, but I have decided that I do need to update here on occasion.

My sign language skills are coming along.  I can converse with a toddler.

We won.  The Compressor Station was stopped.  We breath free semi-clean country air.

After my third heart attack: I have lost some extra weight.  (Need to continue to loose more.)  But I am living much healthier lifestyle over all.

My crafts have turned mostly to toys for the grandkids.

I’m into reading mysteries of late.

I bought myself a Ukulele two months ago and I have given myself a strict hour a day of practicing schedule.  I love it and have gotten fairly good at it already.  The list of songs I can play to grows daily.

My camera broke so pictures will be limited here.  I can still take pictures with it, but the focus is messed up.  So most of the pictures I take wind up unusable.  (Picture above is of Mary Picford not one of mine.)

All in all, life is a good thing.  I try to:  Forgive and forget.  Learn something new.  Live, love and laugh... each day.

I do hope all my blogging friends, readers and bloggers, are doing well also.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

On The Color of Words:

Well it is the first day of Autumn.  It has been feeling and looking a bit like autumn for a few weeks now, but only in a preparation type of way.

The trees are turning now in full, all their bright fury of color.  Loose leaves fly and dance across the grass on the wind.  The woods are opening up and you can see further into them.  Showing their secret places.

I fancy that fairies are having leaf flying races and making the best of it all before winter quiets things down for its season of sleep.

I’ve been busy.  I’m learning a new language.  Well not totally new to me, but I haven’t practiced it in many years.  I am not a multi-language type of person.  I find it very hard.  My mind doesn’t want to change direction in its way of thinking.  Putting subject first, finding a new way to say the same old things, words I know to mean one thing now meaning another.

Autumn is simple.  The preparation of plants transitioning, dieing off or going dormant until the warmth and waters of springtime can start the renewal process once again.  Cycles and circles of life.

I love words in the language I am a custom to.  I like to play with them.  Feel them tripping over me tongue.  Listening to the sounds that they make.  Finding an old word little used.  Discovering new words to add to my vocabulary.

Maybe it is feeling so limited at the start of a new language that makes me so frustrated.  Leaving me unable to get my point across.

No, that is only a part of it.  My brain has enough trouble finding the words I want in the language I’ve been using daily all my life.  I stop and stumble over them by the hour, even thought I love them so.

But love has prompted me to learn this new language.  A fairly new family member should have communication available to them too.  And since I do love how words connect us I am totally committed to learn this new language for her.  I want to talk to her about the colors and my feelings about Autumn.

My new grandbaby is deaf.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

On Not Without Good Reason:

Yes, I am sorry that I haven’t been around.

But life is like that.  You get to a place that you feel comfortable and then BANG!

Back in May I learned that a company was trying to put up a gas compressor station within a mile of my house.

The sneaky buggers were trying to get a variance for a “cell tower for a storage shed.”  When asked by the neighbors ‘Why do you need a cell tower for a storage shed in the woods?’  We found out that is was really a highly toxic compressor station that they planed to build and release the same toxins that you may remember from the Erin Brockavich movie into the air 24-7.  But this was in my real life.  Right over my organic garden, my house, my lungs.

This was big, bad, high industry trying to sneak into a agricultural area and poison us.

There is a video on YouTube about one just like it that the same company was trying to put up just outside our local school complex.  All school ages right through high school having toxins dumped on them day in and day out. 

Well anyway we fought hard to get the word out about it in every one of our available waking moments.  And we won a battle.  The zoning board voted ‘No’ to their back door plans to sneak a compressor station on us.

I can breath a bit easier for the moment.  We will still have to be on our guard.  They can appeal and also go through proper channels to try to place that monster anyway.  But the local community leaders know were we stand and that in a short time we can and did become a force to be reckoned with.  

So, I am sorry that I haven’t been around to read your blogs, commenting, and or just plain entertaining you.

For now I’m going back to my old life of blogging and knitting toys for the grandkids.  And leaning new and interesting things to do with my hands.  But I’m also keeping an eye out for real monsters.  They do exist.