Wednesday, March 31, 2010

On Planning a Funeral:

Unpredictable Spring. The snow is melting and the lights are back on.

I was all set to post yesterday. Just about to hit the save button on what I wrote and move it to the blog and poof. No lights and high winds, freezing rain, sleet and snow coming down for the rest of the day.

I was also going to rewrite my wishes for my funeral. I had the things I want at my funeral written down for years now and the Ex was sent off with some of the same elements, so I’m changing mine.

My daughter made all the arrangements and we hadn’t talked about it at all. I guess we think some what alike.

So, now I am picking different music and other things like picture and flower choices.

Dieing is the one thing we all do, yet few plan for the funeral itself. I’ve had no end of fun over the years planning every diddle and jot of mine.

Clothes, hair, perfume, jewelry, flowers, casket, pictures, music… the whole shebang. I have it all planned.

I even have a list of people to inform of my demise and those I don’t want there.

I have my obituary written for the newspaper and the one for the blog.

I of course know that this day will be different then I imagine. The ones I leave behind will have other needs at that time and will make changes toward those ends.

I am not a queen with an unlimited budget, nor do I want my loved ones uncomfortable with my choices. Their send off will be different then they imagined also, as I will be the poor bereaved needing soothing in my time of grief.

My ‘fantasy funeral’ is so much bigger and better then the one on paper. But I am a realist and I can’t see spending that kind of money on my dead decaying body. Still I’d love it if I could.

Monday, March 29, 2010

On Goth is a Lifestyle, Part 2:

True Goths find the trappings of the Goth world irresistible. They can’t help themselves. They remember being told that the things they liked as children were odd or weird. They just don’t understand why other people are afraid or repulsed by death or gothic things. They innocently can’t wait to go to their first wake/funeral just to see what it is all about.

This and other feelings of Goth don’t just go away as they grow older. They may learn to hide them, but the feelings grow. They find a Goth look makes them feel sexy or alive. They want to stay out of the sun, sit on the sidelines, reject the norm/establishment.

Goths have deep feeling about others and the world around them. They don’t shy from the dark side of life. They find themselves drawn to jobs that repulse others. Emergency personal, horror books and films industry workers, crime control or cleanup, and yes morticians. They are happier in fringe jobs, edgy music, artists, or fashion. Some even like to take risks.

They tend not to immediately trust others. Still, once a friendship or bond is made they also don’t take it lightly. They have their friends backs. But if this bond is broken it is rare to have it mended and rarer still to its former state.

There are many un-tattooed, un-pierced, non gothic fashion wearing Goths out in the world. They secretly love the stuff, but don’t want to jeopardize their jobs or family relationships; they believe the media hype about being vampires, Satan worshipers or into bloodletting, but are themselves religious and/or feel that if they let their feelings be known they will be pegged as insane or depressed and locked up.

Goths are not crazy. They don’t do strange or dangerous things on the whole. They are not depressed all the time. They don’t kill and eat babies, small children or their enemies. They don’t drink blood as a rule, the exception being: Halloween or party shenanigans. They don’t revel in the death of others or laugh at their demise. At least, no more than any other group out there.

They tend to be smart, they like shock value, are green/eco friendly, careful, caring, responsible, people who like crafts, music, fun and fitting in with like minded groups. They are most often Christian in religious affiliation. They also have their own sense of style, as few goths look exactly alike.

The fact that they like to look different makes them scary to the norm and even other Goths at times. But Goths are in the habit of looking beyond the exterior. And the variety of Goth looks can make the most devoted Goth’s head spin.

I for one don’t get into the Lolita or Vampire styles of Goth, and Industrial Goth leaves me cold. (More power to them for being what makes them individuals and going with what they like.) But a filmy tattered wedding gown, a dark Goth fairy or Victorian mourning garb makes my heart sing. And a man dressed Victorian makes me weak in the knees. Add a pale face and dark eyes and lips, and I could just swoon.

Blackwaterfall has a good list started on the different types of Goth. There are others not on her list yet because she is still working on the art for them.

Goths just ‘Are’ and are not ‘Made.’ It doesn’t wear off or diminish with time. It is not a mental illness or unreleased fragment of youth. Goths grow up, have jobs, have kids, become good neighbors, car pool, are soccer parents, but rarely join the PTA.

They may tone it down in public or for lack of time with their other responsibilities, but it is who and what they are, how they think. It is what makes them tick.

You are not a Goth if you dye your hair, wear black, quote death poetry, and like the music. You are Goth if you can’t imagine yourself any other way. Goth Style is an outward manifestation of an inward attitude.

And, there is a little Goth in everyone, believe it or not.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

On Goth is a Lifestyle, Part 1:

I have been feeling a lot better with myself since I’ve been getting back to my Goth roots here on my blog. I guess I’ve been feeling a bit too vanilla here. Not that there is anything wrong with being vanilla. Even I have days where ‘normal’ is a good, break out of my box, thing to be.

The trouble with being Goth is the fact that it is a very broad umbrella these days.

Emos got tired of being under that umbrella and are trying to move out into their own group. With the vampire TV/book/movie movement out there in the media, that sub group of Goth will probably want to try to move on too.

‘Goth’ was once based on the Gothic style of architecture and the people that liked that style. The feeling of dark castles and wrought iron, gargoyles and reclusiveness, the people that lived there with long gowns or frock coats, candle light and shadows captured the imagination. Dark stories in these settings full of romance to stir ones blood and fright to thrill the senses became the gothic novel.

In the eighties a group of disenfranchised youth took it to the next level and the Goth music scene was born. Goth became a catch word for this group of dark punk rockers. They added some trappings from gothic fashion from days of old. Victorian mourning clothing, pale faces, and driving hearse became part of the look. (Hearse as cars was already an in thing from the seventies.) Wearing black was the new way to shock the establishment and lay claim to an identity.

They were a loosely formed group of loner, awkward teenagers that felt that they didn’t fit into the happy, preppy, school spirit crowd on the other side of the campus. A way of saying, ‘Don’t confuse us with them or expect us to join in.’

Most Goths are teenagers looking for a place where they can belong, be different than their parents and wheeled some power by shocking others without having to resort to violence. This is as true of them back in the eighties as it is now. These people while true to what Goth is/was to them at that time in their lives, often move away from and move on to other styles later in life. Not a bad thing really. Goth was there for them when they needed it and afterwards they grew into their own style on the other side of their teen years. They fit for a while, but the true Goth is a lifer.

The once Goth is not necessarily a posers. Posers are people who just do a thing to fit in with a group that will take them in, or they go Goth to scare their parents, or follow the lifestyle for a person that they want to impress, but otherwise they don‘t feel the need to be goth heart and soul by themselves.

I’m am talking about the people out there after their teens, that will still have a wardrobe of ‘normal’ clothing that is mostly black and a few choice items often unworn any longer as a reminder of good Goth times gone by.

They work and function in the ‘normal’ world, but still follow the goth bands they love and wish they were still young and had the time to be part of the scene. Goth still turns them on, and warms their ‘cold dead hearts.’

Again not talking about those people from school that just stopped and never moved on after high school or college. Wearing clothing and hair from back in the day and surrounding themselves with mementoes of youth. The ungrown-up.

But I am talking about the Goth with responsibilities and families to feed.

More tomorrow. But until then you can read this article if you don’t believe me.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

On One, Two, Three’s:

First, I want to thank those who sent their condolences to my daughter at the passing of her father. The funeral is over, she has returned home, and I am moving on to other things.

Second, it is spring and time for fairy hunts in the woods. A woman I met in one of my groups meetings is starting a blog. It is Lady Dark Firefly. She is into fairy fairs, wings and building fairy houses in the woods. I only wish that we lived closer to each other.

The Blog is still in the building stage, no pictures yet and all that, but I trust that will change soon. She is a lovely woman who has a heart of a child with the soul of an ancient. She also has a great imagination.

Third, I’ve been busy with spring cleaning and getting rid of things no longer wanted from my past. I love the concept of a good spring clean out. I need it as I’m likely to hold onto things for longer then is really necessary.

There is always a feeling of renewal in the Spring. I need to shake off some old baggage and pounds. I lost a few pounds this past week and this makes me what to keep at it. I’ll be belly dancing my way through my spring cleaning.

Lastly, I also want to remember to stop and smell the roses daily. It is important, and the older I get the more I know this is a life truth. So stop and enjoy any given moment of the day, breath and be in the moment. Be aware of the good in things. Don’t let it be so easy to shake off the good times and get back to work. Take the good feelings along with you, into the rest of your day.

And spread the sunshine you find. Smile to yourself and at others. It makes other people happier, even if they don’t know why. Give a helping hand. You know the drill. It works.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

On Long Days, but This Too Shall Pass:

We all feel it at times, days that genuinely feel like they’ve taken weeks to get through.

So much to do, decide, accomplish, fit in, experience, vying for your time… along with other things on your mind waiting in the wings, rearranging normal life function, must do’s and self preservation.

We are having a family upheaval at the moment. I was trying to keep up with the blog in a small way for the last few days, failing yesterday completely.

Yes, that dream I had a week ago about giving birth has yet again held true as an omen in my life, a harbinger of a change coming into my life.

Although not directly involved as such, I’m more then happy to help my daughter in any way I can through a tough time in her life.

My long time Ex, and my daughter’s father, died suddenly and unexpectedly over the weekend. My daughter and son-in-law are staying here with us until the funeral is over and the needed arrangements can be made to deal with his worldly possessions.

I will forward any condolences to my daughter that you may want to offer her at this time, and I thank you in advance.

I know you are all thinking about her and offering up your support to her in your hearts at this time.

Monday, March 22, 2010

On Rocking Out the Beginning of Spring:

Well it must be spring. I know this because Mountain Man is back to playing with rocks.

Wasn’t it just last year he said he was done with them?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

On Yesterday’s Flowers:

Some pictures of the crocuses and mini daffodils in my yard yesterday. The daffodils opened just in time for the first day of spring.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

On ‘Time for Spring I Say‘:

Yes, it is that time again. In past years I didn’t have high speed only dial up, so having this link was impossible before.

I will be watching this cartoon ‘Merry Melodies - To Spring’ with Mountain Man as we do every Spring Equinox for many years now. Others will be joining us via the internet and you can join in also if you want to.

We will go for a walk in the woods and look for things growing too.

Enjoy the day how ever you celebrate it. Happy Spring!

Friday, March 19, 2010

On Play Pretties:

I know it won’t surprise you that I have craft supplies on hand.

I dug some out last night and started working on one of those jangly bangly hip belts for belly dancing. I was hard pressed to find enough sturdy chain for the foundation.

(And No, I am not sewing up a whole hip piece, only to have to take it apart and start again when I loose a few pounds.)

Okay, I knew I had sturdy chain. It was the enough part that had me flummoxed. I will admit to you, because you are my friend and I know it will go no further, my hips measure 54 inches. Let me see, that’s about 260 cm.

(Yes, that makes me almost as wide around as I am tall. But we are not going to talk about that right now. And besides, I‘m doing this to try to loose those inches. And no wise cracks about my use of the word ‘sturdy‘ either. It will be taking a lot of abuse each day as I fumble around, err, I mean dance.)

Now back to the belt: I still have a bit more to do, adding more chain and dangly beads. Silver and black. You can’t go wrong with that combination. It will go with what ever costume I come up with later on. And having a chain base I can easily reduce the linkage as I loose weight and inches.

I think it is a good start. And I can’t wait to see them flying around my hips when I do a ‘hip pop’ or a ‘shimmy’ move.

It will weigh a couple of pounds by the time it is done, but that is a good thing. I’m told that it helps keep your movements smooth and dancing around with the extra weight helps the weight loss happen faster.

Once the belt is done all I’ll have to do is sew it to the skirt with a couple of stitches here and there to hold it in place.

I’ve already slit the side seams to the hip, out of a skirt for me to practice in. Add a spandex exercise top and ‘Belly Dance 101’ will further commence in my family room. Who knew I had all I needed right here all the time?

Now where did I put my belly dancing music CD I bought on sale a few years back for a laugh?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

On Belly Do’s and Don’t’s:

I will penitently admit that the ‘no diet and just maintain’ diet didn’t work for me. In point of fact, I gained 15 pounds. Not by eating to excess when I ate my meals. Or cheating on my snacking. I was good with my meals and snacks. I found that it was indeed necessary to write down my eating because of my short term memory problems. I would forget that I had just ate an hour ago and eat again. Doubling or even tripling my food intake some days.

So, I am back to keeping track of my food intake and loosing said extra poundage as soon as possible, within reason of course.

I am adding to this some new exercising. I found that since I hate to exercise and don’t stick to it, but since I have stuck with dancing the tango, I am going to dance some of these pounds away.

I’m starting with belly dancing on alternate days of the week to my tango. After that who knows what I’ll add next. I got the idea after finding some more Goth Belly Dancing videos on YouTube. How sweet is that?

I will leave it to your fertile imagination what I look like gyrating around at 205 pounds. But I’m getting a laugh so its, ‘First star to the left and straight on ‘till morning.’ Never Neverland here I come.

I found you have to have a slightly silly attitude to do outrageous things at my age and weight. But I’m going with what works. And 205 on my frame doesn’t work for me. Even fat girls have a temptress inside of them, so I‘m letting her out to play.

Let’s see now, that’s yoga, tango, stationary bike, wii sports, stair stepper, walking, and now belly dancing. Not all in one day, but a few each day and I should be back in fine shape in no time. Okay, I’ll be a little realistic here, some time in the future.

Do I get to hire a maid now that I won’t have time to do housework? Well, a girl can try can’t she?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

On Irish! Who Me?:

Do I own green clothing? Yes.

Will I wear it today? No.

Why, do you ask?

Because part of me is Irish all year round. My father has the red hair and freckles to prove it. I grew up with an Irish last name.

I don’t need to be kissed.
To join would be conforming.
I don’t drink beer, green or any other color.
It’s a silly way to honor a saint.

But don’t take my ideas into account. Not everyone is stigmatized by their youth.

Feel free to join in, have fun and be someone you are not normally for the day. More power to you.

I’ll come back and look around tomorrow when it is all over.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

On Dreaming of Change:

I had a dream last night. It was about a baby.

I often have babies in my dreams. My kids when they were younger, other people holding babies around me, me being the baby sitter of an infant, baby dolls sitting around the room… You get the picture.

It was so realistic. In this dream I was having the baby and helping it through the first few days of life. For me these dreams always mean change is coming.

I spent the morning and some of the afternoon getting down to a visceral level with myself. Tapping my core and getting grounded. If change is coming I want to be ready and able to go with the flow.

Two of the last few times this happen for me was the time my son died and when I found out I had cancer. But always a change that I had to do some work to feel comfortable with or work out the change, good or bad. I don’t take these dreams lightly.

You may not believe that dreams have any information for you. And I myself believe that most dreams are just your mind on vacation. But I have learned that a few of my dreams are a wake up call for me.

A change is coming into my life. And if I’m not ready to work with it, I run the risk of being run over by it. Now for the fun part.

What will this change be?

Monday, March 15, 2010

On Clock? What Clock?:

Yes, we did turn the clocks ahead for daylight savings time.

I got up late today, but not for the reason you may be thinking.

I did in fact go to bed early on Saturday night. I woke with sciatica and my back was out of whack. I didn’t even blog on Sunday because I happen to know that you don’t like to hear me whine unendingly.

Mountain Man went around the house cheerfully (Yes, this night owl, non-goth man of eternal night was cheerful on that morning.) changed the time on all the clocks in the house. Do you think it had anything to do with him having the house to himself all day?

So, I was flat on my back and only got up for food and facilities. I read, I knit, I did pencil puzzle books, and watched movies on my portable DVD player. Ghost Busters and Addams Family if you must know.

Sunday gone, enter Monday morning.

I get up early, because despite my being goth, I’m an early bird. I’m feeling good. I bend down to put some wood in the wood stove to warm the house for the day like I always do and Bam!

No, not my back. I dropped the log on my toe.

Needless to say, after getting some ice, I went back to bed to start the day again.

So here I am, late and a bit bruised, but happy as sunshine (it’s a cloudy day here today.) because my sciatica is no more.

And by the way, That Baldy Fella over at Nick Nack Blog Attack wrote a story using my writing prompt suggestions.

Name: Dancer Dave
Object: Goblet of Forty Beetles
Dialogue: “I told you ten times not to do that and now you‘re stuck like that.”
Title: Sitting on a Cold Stone

Funny stuff! But Beware, if you don’t like body part humor.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

On Homer the Spider:

Well there were no guesses for the thirty points, but in case you were wondering. Here it is.

Wednesday Addams Poem
Recited to Grandma Frump on her Birthday
(Happy Birthday Grandma Frump) First Aired 2/11/66

I have a gloomy little spider
I love to sit down close beside her
She never knows where she has been
‘Cause all she does is spin and spin

My spider’s quite a busy roamer
Which is way I called her Homer
She loves to work and spin all day
And then at night she likes to play

Her web is like my mother’s hair
Her eyes have got my father’s stare
She may not jump or twist or bend
But a spider is a girl’s best friend

Friday, March 12, 2010

On Goth by the Link:

A few weeks ago I changed my home page to igoogle. I played around with the apps for the page and came up with the combination I liked. I had a pet spider for a few days and named her Homer. (Thirty points if you get the reference.)

One of the apps I chose from a long list, under the add stuff button, was ‘Goth - Goggle Blog Search’ and it gives me up to nine blog/websites that use the word ‘Goth in their post.’ This list changes about three times a day.

It was not so much of a Goth run blog finder as a search engine for the word goth. So, I got all sorts of people using the word goth as a catch word, people using the word goth to mean anything with the use of black, and also those with anti-goth sentiments.

Still, some very good, pro-Goth sites got through.
I found ‘Bats! Meow,’ a small internet business of goth clothing including those for babies and kids. What caught my eye was a pretty gray and black lace Goth Christening Gown from there. This gown was being mocked by a mommy blogger who has yet to understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I also found Goth Ilk, Catch Goth Style, Confessions of a Fabulous Fat Chick, and Tatted Adventures of a Complicated Girl who although is not goth herself has some very pretty tatted jewelry for sale that some Goth girls could die for.

There are some depressing Goth blogs full of death poetry and doom. Other blogs just trying to sell Goth fashion to the masses. And the ‘I am the definitive Goth and I will tell you what is wrong with all other Goths out there’ bloggers. But for the most part I am having a good time finding the better ones on the web.

On YouTube there are Goth cartoon series like Gothkyd and video blogs like Miss Hannah Minx.

I did find one blog that stood out for me as an information tool. ‘The Goth Blog - Brought to you by Trelli at’ This is a nice combination of info, Goth news and a bit of fun.

Click on the link on the side and you get more info in a well grouped way. The ‘View the Types’ tab is really nice to find an ever growing variety list of Goth sub types that make up most Goths as a whole. Most like myself are a mix. Click on the type and you go to the page where that type is explained. Easy, nice and informative to the Goth and Non-Goth alike.

There is also a link on the links page of the above site to get you to that much beloved site ‘Gothic Charm School.’ Like its name says, it teaches how a Goth can put his or hers best foot forward. And there is now also a book on the subject by the same Author.

I do wish the app was more selective, replenished itself more often, and I got less Goth haters in the mix, but for now I’ll keep the app. I’ve found some very nice and helpful Goth people out there that I hadn’t found by just hunting and pecking around the web by myself.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

On Goth Baby Doll Knitting:

After starting the February Baby Sweater and finding the pattern too big for the doll, I pulled it out and tried a few times more to get the right gauge.

By the time I found the gauge I needed other ideas were dancing in my head. With my new gauge experiments done, I found I could make a larger pattern I found for a toddler sized hoodie (that I can’t seem to find again at the moment. I should have bookmarked the page.) into just the right size for my baby doll if I shortened the length of the body and sleeves. The original pattern was for a pink hoodie that was in baby/sport yarn and size 7 needles.

I went with some #1 dark gray sock yarn that I had on hand and I used sized 3 needles, I knit loose so this worked for me. While looking for a spider chart I found a pattern for a skull and cross bones I liked. (I tried to get that link for you but the page has been pulled in the last few days.) With some variegated pink and light gray sock yarn and I added just the skull.

Goth baby hoodie.

I need to go out and get a gray zipper for it, but for now I added a few ties to keep it closed in front.

I like this baby knitting. Faster then my size for sure. Now she needs fingerless gloves and socks and a hollowig or two and… but I shouldn’t get carried away now, should I?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

On Reasons I Know Spring is Coming:

In no particular order:

There are ants visiting the dogs water bowl inside the house.

Melting snow.

Muddy foot prints on the floor.

Laundry hanging outside to dry.

Rubber boots lined up by the door.


Windows opened for a short time each day.

Green things starting to grow again.

Less layers needed to go outside.

Mud puddles.

More time between refilling the woodstove.

Flowering plants trying to raise their heads.

Dogs digging in the mud.

Moles leaving the excess mud from their tunnels on the lawn.

The birds are singing again.

And did I say Mud?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

On Blossom Rock:

Blossom Rock was a wonderful actress known best for her portrayal of Grandma Addams.

I was not putting down Grandma Addams or Blossom Rock with my comments yesterday, only using the character as an example of a type.

I love the character of Grandma Addams and hoped to be like her as an adult when I was younger. I just didn’t think I’d get there as fast as I did.

Maybe is was the fact that the cancer made the changes happen so fast. One day I was feeling a young middle aged woman with energy and ambition, and a few months later I was old and used up.

My long dark brown hair was replaced with first a bald head then short curly gray hair. My skin showed new wrinkles each day. Old scars once only a memory, came to the fore again. The treatment was over and a different older, used up body was left.

I had a life to live, but a body that didn’t act, look or react the same as the one I had grown to know so well.

At first I was just happy to be alive. I gothed it up just like I did before, but the energy was gone. I spent years trying to grasp at the life I once knew. Being angry at what had happened to me.

Now I’m trying to fit the pieces of my Goth life together in an way that fulfills me and does not border on the ridiculous.

I found myself turning to a doll to makeover in a Goth way where my own body doesn’t fit the bill any longer. It is a trying time for me this embracing change.

I’m glad to be a gothy Grandma Addams. I just miss the gothy glamour girl that once was.

Thank you Blossom Rock for taking the part of Grandma Addams. May you Rest in Peace.

Monday, March 8, 2010

On This Getting Older Thing:

It is not easy getting older, Goth or not. Above and beyond the ‘can’t do things like you used to’ thing, there is the thought barrier.

I am shopping and see the cutest dress, it doesn’t need too much to Goth it up to the max. I have been looking for something like it for years. And there I have to step back.

It would have been perfect fifteen years ago. It would have been nice ten years ago. It is ridiculous to try it now.

One look in the mirror tells me that. I’m an old lady. It is time to do the classy thing if I’m going to grow old gracefully. But this girl in me, the one that used to use this same body years ago, just wants to still have fun. Rock out. Flaunt it, be outrageous and be happy.

In some ways I’m very luck. I live where the neighbors can’t see me well. I can wear the clothing and makeup I want to in my own yard and not explain myself, get odd looks, or be abused.

I can fling my arms wide when the wind blows, like a child playing airplane, and not wait until a grandchild is present to play. I can wear my fairy wings, both happy and dark, to do my house work, go bird watching or look for wee folk in the woods without having a child in tow to explain my strange behavior.

I may be living my life backwards. Playing the part of adult as a child and the child as an adult. But I am living my life and not watching it pass me by.

I do mourn the wrinkles, but won’t do a thing to erase them. They are a map of my life. I have had hard times along with the good. I earned each and every gray hair and wear it proudly. But in my heart I will be a young Goth girl forever more. Even if I look like grandma Addams in the mirror now. I’m a Gothic Princess in a Crone’s body and the counter spell has been lost to time.

Getting old is a kick in my black stripped pantaloons.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

On My Gothiness:

I have been looking over my past posts and I really haven’t been talking about my Goth side very much any more.

Not that it has gone away, because it hasn’t. I just wasn’t talking about it.

I am Goth not because I follow a specific band or I dress in black and all that gothy stuff.

Sure I like that a lot, but I like it because of my Goth way of thinking not the other way around.

Yes, I am an elder Goth. If I want to move forward in life I needed to tone it down or look like a freak even in the Goth community. A wrinkly goth can look silly to other Goths also and I intend to grow old gracefully. So, I don’t get to dress up in my full Goth regalia when I go out as often as I used to.

This does not mean I’m leaving the lifestyle behind. I’m just not seventeen anymore and know it. And just as I still like other things from my past, cartoons and candy for example, doesn’t mean I’m going all childish and silly in the head either.

Dressing in a black tee shirt and black jeans does not mean I’m going all Emo. Emo’s are not toned down Goths. In fact most Emos I've met are angrier.

I’m a middle to older aged woman with graying hair. I’m allergic to hair dye. But that aside, I’m not going to be one of those people you’ve all seen with crater sized wrinkles and un-naturally dark hair. That is obscene in any group of people.

I am Goth. I think Goth. I like Goth things. I am not an extremist. I am not limited to only goth things to enjoy them. I have a lot of different likes as a matter of fact, but Victorian romantigoth turns me on the best.

Maybe it has been the lack of picture of myself that has made me less likely to talk about the goth part of my life here. And if I didn’t make a promise not to place identifying pictures here before I started the blog, you would be tired of seeing my pasty white face.

I may be seen in more Steam Punk clothing these days, I like that look too, But I’ll be a Goth to the end. I can’t remember ever being anything but Goth all my life. And I’m not about to change it now just because I’m getting older.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

On Spring Bored:

As always, in the early spring, I feel the need to break out, try something new, make a new piece of clothing or add some new style to my overly stuffed wardrobe in my closet.

It started the other day when I wanted to make over my baby doll. I must have cast on and pulled out twenty seven different things already, but the trouble is not on my knitting needles, its in my head.

I have cabin fever. My need for some new and exciting input is making me unable to sit still and do anything.

I’m usually fine with ‘same old’ most of the time. It is comfortable and reassuring. But after a long winter, I’m all elbows and in a fit to break out of the old mold.

The dogs must feel the same way. They dug down through the snow cover to get to bare ground and scratched up the dirt and mud found there. Muddy dog prints littered my floor and carpets all day as they went out and back in.

We need a jumping off point. Something new to refresh ourselves.

The world outside is not co-operating, it is still covered in snow for the most part. I have crafts a-plenty to do, but I can’t sit long enough to get into any of them. Even my stay-cation spa days with the house to myself isn’t helping. And the never ending shortage of money isn’t helping either.

So, I fidget and wait for the snow to melt so I can get out into the woods and go on treasure hunts again for fairies and nature finds. I need some new wings I think, but I’d rather be flying to a new adventure.

In the mean time I think I need to use some of this energy and get moving. Time to dust off the exercise bike I think. I just hope I can sit long enough to get the peddles moving.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

On Being Distracted from Blogging:

Yes, I have been missing the last few days.

A few small, but time consuming family things going on, so I haven’t had the time to take the pictures of the Olympic Knitting UFO’s I‘ve been playing at knitting.

Today is no different, though I am hoping to get things wrapped up soon so I can get back to business as usual.

I’m still in the market for some gothy baby knits for my baby doll, if anyone has come across a mommy/ knitting blog that is into that kind of thing. I’ve had no luck so far. Not that I’ve had much time to look for the last few days.

The weather is getting a bit of spring mixed into it. The days are not so cold and the snow is actually melting some each day. I even saw a bit of grass getting greener in the patch of lawn shoveled off for the dogs.

Spring is not as far off as it seemed like just a few days ago.