On Reality, TV and Goth:

As you know, if you’ve been reading my blog for some time now, I am against ‘Reality TV’. We all know that they practice creative editing to make things look one way when in fact it was not that way at all. So I just don’t watch it or much TV since that is a large part of the viewing out there.

But there is one thing that will make my break this fast and hard rule of ‘No Reality TV’ I’ve set down for myself. Goth!

I can’t get enough of Kent and Vyxsin on ‘The Amazing Race‘.

Like the first season that they were on, as soon as they were/are removed I will drop the show like a hot potato. I really don’t care who wins, I just want to see ‘my’ Goths for as long as I can.

I watch on Sunday nights and then again on Monday mornings on the web to catch the parts I missed the first time around.

I live in a Goth poor area and other Goths in my age group are nonexistent. So any little glimpse of Gothiness warms my Gothy cold dark heart.

Tuesdays, of course, is my Abby Sciuto fix for fictional perky Goth. But knowing that she isn’t really a Goth, but just plays one on TV, doesn’t fill the need despite that I love the character.

If I could I’d live near another Elder Goth. We could have a friendship different then that of my other friends. I could be me, with no eye rolling or the “Can‘t you look like us just for once.” comments.

Some days I’m tired of being the only one in the crowd. I hate all the dressing down I do. I hate having no one to drool over my Victorian Mourning dresses. I hate no one to share tips and accessories with to expand my and their wardrobe.

Being a lone Goth is not something I chose for myself. It has been with me for most of my life. So you would think I’d be used to it by now.

But every spring I hope to see another Gothy person emerge from winter entombment out and about in the grocery or department store. Even my local magazine stands stopped carrying Gothic Beauty magazine for lack of buyers. So now I must get it in the mail and loose the hope of finding another Goth picking up the magazine when it came out each month like I did. Even if they were quite a bit younger, at least I’d know that they would be out there.

I just one old Goth calling out in the night. ‘Friend or Foe?’

On Welcome To Goth-hood:

Well I haven’t been talking much about my Gothiness lately.

Not that its gone away, because it hasn’t. I just don’t feel the need to constantly state the obvious.

But will Halloween coming up I do want to add a welcome to all who don’t feel free to be Goth on the outside unless it is a costume party or holiday.

It is a tuff world out there and I for one don’t want to add to another Goth persons load. Not all Goths have a full measure of flashiness. And they just don’t feel the need or have the ability in themselves to wear the ‘out there’ cloths and makeup.

I knew what I liked and that it was not the same as anyone around me. And from a very young age I learned to keep my mouth shut about it.

And as a Goth who doesn’t judge other Goths, I also remember that first step into Goth-hood. (Though for me, it wasn’t called Goth way back then.) I had no role models or groups or anyone around that even thought like me.

I was in the closet because it was that or be sent to the funny farm for a depression I just didn‘t have. I just liked dark stuff and it made me happy. So for years I thought one way and acted another.

Not until there were other Goths to associate with, could I let my true self out. And/or even admit my gothiness to myself.

A big step for a person like me, standing at that time in the late 60‘s, in a world of hippies, drugs and free love. The natural movement was just getting a start. It was all about feeling good, happy and loving.

Bucking the system was the way to go, but only in a pre set of parameters. Communes are not the place for people that don’t play well with others. And no one wore black but old ladies who couldn‘t keep up with the times.

So from someone who got here the hard way. Welcome to Goth-hood. Your not broken, Your just different. And we like it that way.

On Your Inner Goth is Showing:

The things on this list are not considered Gothic standing on their own. They are not necessarily things I like or do. But put together with the others…

You’re a little bit Goth if you like:

Phantom of the Opera or other tragedies.
Walking in a cemetery when not visiting a friend or relative there.
Like Dark humor.
Thinking about whether or not there is an afterlife?
Don’t let what others think about you, sway what you want to do with your image of self.

Like to talk about the books you read with others.
Find a tragedy compelling.
Don’t mind spending hours alone thinking.
Have tattoos.
Are not upset if a less then ‘happily ever after’ ending happens in a story, book or movie.

Have piercings.
Like to play with your fashion in odd ways.
Plan your funeral.
Listen to music that makes you feel strongly.
Like the Addams Family; Cartoons in New Yorker Magazine, TV show, and or Movies.

Find being a little freaky, while ‘not’ hurting anyone, makes you happy.
Expect the trials in life, as well as the good times.
Own any black, plastic/PVC, velvet, and or lace clothing.
Like Tim Burton movies.
Like non-goth music that has a dark subject or edge to it. (The Decemberists come to mind.)





Find rainy days to your liking.
Don’t deny and hide your dark side.
Know that ‘Romantic’ means ‘Exciting’ not just ‘being in love.’
Know that no matter how many friend we have, we are essentially alone in life.
Have likes you don’t share with others, because they might not understand.

There are ever so many more, but I think you get the picture.

If you see a Goth, know that in these types of things you just might see eye to eye. And that they are not so very different as you may think.

Have any other suggestions?

On Busy Weekend:

I’m having a hard time getting back into blogging daily. Not that I haven’t been missing all of you, because I have. It’s more of a out of the house kind of thing.

And the places I’ve been, there is no internet to use.

In town there is a Fine Arts Festival every year at the end of May and it landed on this past weekend. World Goth Day was on Saturday, and my daughter was in town burying her fathers ashes that day too.

I will do something I should have done the other day when I posted about Amelia Earhart house. After you use the link of her name, turn the picture to the left and you are there. Move up and down the street and look at the house from a few different angles. Walk her street.

If the link of her name doesn’t work, try this. vPike Type in [ 78 brooks st medford ma ] and hit the submit button. It is a street side view where you can go to any street that they already have in their archives. And since they are attached to Google Maps that is a lot of streets. Enjoy. Try it on your own house or your grandma's.

On Up Coming Gothiness:

Well, I’m back home and only a little worse for wear from lifting packing boxes. My son’s birthday was two days ago and it was harder on me then I thought it would be to not get to visit his grave like I was used to doing all these ten long years.

My daughter and her husband are here because they will be burying her fathers ashes this weekend in an adjacent grave to my/our son. Feeling a little strange about this.

More about my trip to Boston another day.

On to the Gothiness:

Saturday May 22 is World Goth Day! To find out about Gothy events in your area, or let others know about a planned event in your area you can go to the to World Goth Day Dot Com. Just hit the Goth Day Form link and you can find your area of the world and what is going on.

Even if you don’t have anything to go to where you live, get your Gothy self out and show your stuff and/or support.

On Goth is a Lifestyle, Part 2:

True Goths find the trappings of the Goth world irresistible. They can’t help themselves. They remember being told that the things they liked as children were odd or weird. They just don’t understand why other people are afraid or repulsed by death or gothic things. They innocently can’t wait to go to their first wake/funeral just to see what it is all about.

This and other feelings of Goth don’t just go away as they grow older. They may learn to hide them, but the feelings grow. They find a Goth look makes them feel sexy or alive. They want to stay out of the sun, sit on the sidelines, reject the norm/establishment.

Goths have deep feeling about others and the world around them. They don’t shy from the dark side of life. They find themselves drawn to jobs that repulse others. Emergency personal, horror books and films industry workers, crime control or cleanup, and yes morticians. They are happier in fringe jobs, edgy music, artists, or fashion. Some even like to take risks.

They tend not to immediately trust others. Still, once a friendship or bond is made they also don’t take it lightly. They have their friends backs. But if this bond is broken it is rare to have it mended and rarer still to its former state.

There are many un-tattooed, un-pierced, non gothic fashion wearing Goths out in the world. They secretly love the stuff, but don’t want to jeopardize their jobs or family relationships; they believe the media hype about being vampires, Satan worshipers or into bloodletting, but are themselves religious and/or feel that if they let their feelings be known they will be pegged as insane or depressed and locked up.

Goths are not crazy. They don’t do strange or dangerous things on the whole. They are not depressed all the time. They don’t kill and eat babies, small children or their enemies. They don’t drink blood as a rule, the exception being: Halloween or party shenanigans. They don’t revel in the death of others or laugh at their demise. At least, no more than any other group out there.

They tend to be smart, they like shock value, are green/eco friendly, careful, caring, responsible, people who like crafts, music, fun and fitting in with like minded groups. They are most often Christian in religious affiliation. They also have their own sense of style, as few goths look exactly alike.

The fact that they like to look different makes them scary to the norm and even other Goths at times. But Goths are in the habit of looking beyond the exterior. And the variety of Goth looks can make the most devoted Goth’s head spin.

I for one don’t get into the Lolita or Vampire styles of Goth, and Industrial Goth leaves me cold. (More power to them for being what makes them individuals and going with what they like.) But a filmy tattered wedding gown, a dark Goth fairy or Victorian mourning garb makes my heart sing. And a man dressed Victorian makes me weak in the knees. Add a pale face and dark eyes and lips, and I could just swoon.

Blackwaterfall has a good list started on the different types of Goth. There are others not on her list yet because she is still working on the art for them.

Goths just ‘Are’ and are not ‘Made.’ It doesn’t wear off or diminish with time. It is not a mental illness or unreleased fragment of youth. Goths grow up, have jobs, have kids, become good neighbors, car pool, are soccer parents, but rarely join the PTA.

They may tone it down in public or for lack of time with their other responsibilities, but it is who and what they are, how they think. It is what makes them tick.

You are not a Goth if you dye your hair, wear black, quote death poetry, and like the music. You are Goth if you can’t imagine yourself any other way. Goth Style is an outward manifestation of an inward attitude.

And, there is a little Goth in everyone, believe it or not.

On Goth is a Lifestyle, Part 1:

I have been feeling a lot better with myself since I’ve been getting back to my Goth roots here on my blog. I guess I’ve been feeling a bit too vanilla here. Not that there is anything wrong with being vanilla. Even I have days where ‘normal’ is a good, break out of my box, thing to be.

The trouble with being Goth is the fact that it is a very broad umbrella these days.

Emos got tired of being under that umbrella and are trying to move out into their own group. With the vampire TV/book/movie movement out there in the media, that sub group of Goth will probably want to try to move on too.

‘Goth’ was once based on the Gothic style of architecture and the people that liked that style. The feeling of dark castles and wrought iron, gargoyles and reclusiveness, the people that lived there with long gowns or frock coats, candle light and shadows captured the imagination. Dark stories in these settings full of romance to stir ones blood and fright to thrill the senses became the gothic novel.

In the eighties a group of disenfranchised youth took it to the next level and the Goth music scene was born. Goth became a catch word for this group of dark punk rockers. They added some trappings from gothic fashion from days of old. Victorian mourning clothing, pale faces, and driving hearse became part of the look. (Hearse as cars was already an in thing from the seventies.) Wearing black was the new way to shock the establishment and lay claim to an identity.

They were a loosely formed group of loner, awkward teenagers that felt that they didn’t fit into the happy, preppy, school spirit crowd on the other side of the campus. A way of saying, ‘Don’t confuse us with them or expect us to join in.’

Most Goths are teenagers looking for a place where they can belong, be different than their parents and wheeled some power by shocking others without having to resort to violence. This is as true of them back in the eighties as it is now. These people while true to what Goth is/was to them at that time in their lives, often move away from and move on to other styles later in life. Not a bad thing really. Goth was there for them when they needed it and afterwards they grew into their own style on the other side of their teen years. They fit for a while, but the true Goth is a lifer.

The once Goth is not necessarily a posers. Posers are people who just do a thing to fit in with a group that will take them in, or they go Goth to scare their parents, or follow the lifestyle for a person that they want to impress, but otherwise they don‘t feel the need to be goth heart and soul by themselves.

I’m am talking about the people out there after their teens, that will still have a wardrobe of ‘normal’ clothing that is mostly black and a few choice items often unworn any longer as a reminder of good Goth times gone by.

They work and function in the ‘normal’ world, but still follow the goth bands they love and wish they were still young and had the time to be part of the scene. Goth still turns them on, and warms their ‘cold dead hearts.’

Again not talking about those people from school that just stopped and never moved on after high school or college. Wearing clothing and hair from back in the day and surrounding themselves with mementoes of youth. The ungrown-up.

But I am talking about the Goth with responsibilities and families to feed.
________________________

More tomorrow. But until then you can read this article if you don’t believe me.