Thursday, December 31, 2009
On New Years Eve 2009:
Here Lies 2009. Like any other year it had its highs and lows. It has its memories for all of us and we will try to remember it fondly, or for others not at all. May its passing bring about a better and more prosperous new year for us all.
I got my free paper toys from Raven Blight. Go there and take a look, a read, a listen, or play a video game. (I used a mix of both the Cemetery set and the Hearst set to make my death year setup. I also added the Grim Reaper this year.)
________________________________________
Hi Friends and Readers,
I’m wishing all of you the best life has to offer on this night of endings and beginnings.
Have a fresh start tomorrow and a much better year ahead then the last.
Enjoy your observance of the holiday and keep out of trouble. Mountain Man and I will be having a Pizza Party and burying the old year.
See you next year.
Hugs, Lady Euphoria
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
On New Years Eve Prep:
Last year my New Years Eve plans fell through because of an ice storm.
Every year, whether it is just the two of us or a house full, we have a build your own pizza party and spend the afternoon making a few different sauces, chopping all kinds of veggies and shredding a variety of cheeses.
When the guests arrive we chop up their contributions and cook up what meat products that are being added. I make the dough and give each person their own personal pizza crust.
We talk and come up with different pizza topping combinations while sipping fruit punch or wine and remembering the fun we had in the last year.
When the pizzas are done cooking we eat and trade bites. We even write down the best combos and start planning new and even better combos for our next pizza party.
As a kid at midnight I’d bury a small box or jar with the year drawn in a coffin and sometimes a few trinkets inside it in the cemetery down the block from my house on New Years Eve.
I’d bury the old dead year and start the new year wondering why no one else I knew did the same thing.
So after the pizza party for two, on midnight last year I buried 2008 in a cemetery, something I hadn’t done for years. I down loaded and printed out some of Raven Blight's free paper toys last minute and made my own paper cemetery for burying the old year. (I wasn’t willing to brave the ice storm myself.)
We are not having guests this year. Mountain Man and I have been sick this last week and not up for cleaning the house for a party. But the pizza fixings are in the fridge and the paper cemetery is out on the table.
You know where I’ll be at midnight tomorrow. Burying 2009 and welcoming in 2010. Today I have to go to Raven’s Blight web site (He has games, stories and other stuff there too.) for a new coffin for this years death.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
On Euphoria the Red Nosed:
For the last few days I’ve been shabby grubby sick.
You know the kind I mean. Propped up on pillows in bed, amongst piles of used tissues and depending on others to prepare food for you or just eating out of the can. Forget about proper hygiene.
I am showered and in a fresh flannel night gown at the moment, with a cup of tea and honey at my side.
So being on a more presentable level I decided to pop my head out of the covers and say ‘Hi’ while my hair dries.
Okay I am still wrapped in a blanket while I type with one finger, because one hand is holding the blanket on and closed around my shoulders. (Ignore the rapidly growing pile of tissues on the floor. The steam in the bathroom made my red nose run even more.)
Mountain Man brought Sir Laidback to the Vet for his recheck. The dog is still on his meds, but doing much better. He is not scratching near as much and playing with (Okay, hogging) the dog toys more. This is to Lady Long (the dashund)’s long suffering, eye rolling disgust.
The Vet thinks Sir Laidback is closer to seven years old rather than five as we were told at the SPCA.
No other new news at Deathwatch Manor. The world kept on turning while I slept. I’ll look in on you in a few days when I’m not feeling as dreadful.
Until then, Happy Holidays everybody.
You know the kind I mean. Propped up on pillows in bed, amongst piles of used tissues and depending on others to prepare food for you or just eating out of the can. Forget about proper hygiene.
I am showered and in a fresh flannel night gown at the moment, with a cup of tea and honey at my side.
So being on a more presentable level I decided to pop my head out of the covers and say ‘Hi’ while my hair dries.
Okay I am still wrapped in a blanket while I type with one finger, because one hand is holding the blanket on and closed around my shoulders. (Ignore the rapidly growing pile of tissues on the floor. The steam in the bathroom made my red nose run even more.)
Mountain Man brought Sir Laidback to the Vet for his recheck. The dog is still on his meds, but doing much better. He is not scratching near as much and playing with (Okay, hogging) the dog toys more. This is to Lady Long (the dashund)’s long suffering, eye rolling disgust.
The Vet thinks Sir Laidback is closer to seven years old rather than five as we were told at the SPCA.
No other new news at Deathwatch Manor. The world kept on turning while I slept. I’ll look in on you in a few days when I’m not feeling as dreadful.
Until then, Happy Holidays everybody.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
On Under a Blanket:
We are under a blanket of snow here at Deathwatch Manor. And I went back to bed.
I should have known. Odd dreams, feeling uneasy about my craft projects, extra cranky about housework…
You guessed it… I woke up sick.
I’m miserable and tired, but for the moment pretending not to be.
The weather outside is frightful, but in here I’m playing seasonal music. And I don’t have no where to go, I’ll let Mountain Man move the snow.
Winter Solstice is tomorrow and I have to be ready to party. So I’m breaking out the box of extra soft tissues.
Have a great holiday season everyone!
I should have known. Odd dreams, feeling uneasy about my craft projects, extra cranky about housework…
You guessed it… I woke up sick.
I’m miserable and tired, but for the moment pretending not to be.
The weather outside is frightful, but in here I’m playing seasonal music. And I don’t have no where to go, I’ll let Mountain Man move the snow.
Winter Solstice is tomorrow and I have to be ready to party. So I’m breaking out the box of extra soft tissues.
Have a great holiday season everyone!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
On Mixed Up Dreams:
I woke up to a dream. In this dream, I was an early teenager in the house I grew up in and my son was there. He was about seven in the dream and having trouble finding his teddy bear so he could go to sleep.
There were many bears in the house to choose from, but his was not among them. We talked of other things like people do when looking for something. Games he liked and what his friend were up to, what we were having for dinner and how growing things like to face the sun.
I woke upset. Partly because we never did find that bear in the dream and partly because I didn’t tell him how much I loved him before it was over.
The house I grew up in is no longer standing. My son is dead and gone. But I have that teddy bear in a box with a few of his other things.
The thing that feels wrong is the mix of things. My being about thirteen and he was seven. This was my childhood home and not the house he grew up in. And although he kept the bear from his childhood he didn’t play with or use it after the age of five. In fact it was not his favorite toy by a long run.
I never remember him sleeping with it. He favored hard plastic action figures and wooden blocks as bed pals.
Did I feel the need for some comforting? Was I feeling child like and at loose ends or lost? Or was it just some random memories mixed together to make a story in my mind?
I don’t know what it was saying, but I do know it made me miss my son all over again like he was here just yesterday.
Some dreams help and other are upsetting. But this one left me feeling empty and lost.
I hope all your dreams make your world a better place.
There were many bears in the house to choose from, but his was not among them. We talked of other things like people do when looking for something. Games he liked and what his friend were up to, what we were having for dinner and how growing things like to face the sun.
I woke upset. Partly because we never did find that bear in the dream and partly because I didn’t tell him how much I loved him before it was over.
The house I grew up in is no longer standing. My son is dead and gone. But I have that teddy bear in a box with a few of his other things.
The thing that feels wrong is the mix of things. My being about thirteen and he was seven. This was my childhood home and not the house he grew up in. And although he kept the bear from his childhood he didn’t play with or use it after the age of five. In fact it was not his favorite toy by a long run.
I never remember him sleeping with it. He favored hard plastic action figures and wooden blocks as bed pals.
Did I feel the need for some comforting? Was I feeling child like and at loose ends or lost? Or was it just some random memories mixed together to make a story in my mind?
I don’t know what it was saying, but I do know it made me miss my son all over again like he was here just yesterday.
Some dreams help and other are upsetting. But this one left me feeling empty and lost.
I hope all your dreams make your world a better place.
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life
Friday, December 18, 2009
On Un-Finished Objects or UFO’s:
My thumb is getting better and I’ve started knitting again. I started a simple striped, purple and gray scarf. Something strait and easy to get my hands in shape and loosened up for more strenuous knitting again.
But this leads to guilt. Yes guilt! Because, I have so many UFO around here.
Mittens, socks, the throw for my bed (Yes, it is still on the needles over a year later. Stop laughing at me.), sweaters, hats, and a toy or two. All taking up space, holding my knitting needles hostage.
And don’t get me started about my lace making, sewing, writing my stories, my dolls and their houses, and my other crafting projects.
I took stock of the situation and found I’m not a ‘finisher’ anymore. I’ve gotten lazy and unreliable in the last year or so. Things get left until last minute. The house looks like a herd of buffalo just came through. And I’ve gained back half the weight I worked so hard to loose these last few months.
Time to step up to the plate. I need more then just organization of UFO‘s, I need structure. I can’t get things done by the seat of my pants anymore. (Those pants are lost in the laundry pile and don’t fit me right now anyway.)
I want to just attack the knitting boxes and bags ticking off projects one by one, but that won’t help me get back on my weight loss schedule and leaves no time for writing or other things.
So, until the end of January I’m committing to clearing up most all of the different UFO’s around here. But I have to get a handle on the Unfinished things while not loosing ground on my life. A schedule to an end. No running around just mopping up messes, but a systematic time oriented attack on chaos.
I just can’t spend hours and hours a day on the internet trolling around or playing video games. If you need me I’ll be wading through the laundry pile and doing dishes, as well as finishing UFO’s and exercising. Taking care of my life as a whole while calming the chaos. And not adding to it with more new started projects. A good goal, don’t you think?
Make a schedule and keep to it. One hour and a half for internet a day… Check!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
On Jigsaw Jungle:
I went to the barn yesterday and got out some of my stash of jigsaw puzzles for this winter. This is just what was in three of the large storage boxes of jigsaw puzzles I own. A pile as tall as me.
The smallest is a 240 pieces and makes a 3D orb puzzle. There are more than one 2000 piece puzzles in that pile, but by far most of them are 1000 pieces.
In the specialty puzzle category I have all edge piece puzzles, double sided puzzles, mystery puzzles (No picture to see what you are making), ‘Who done it’ puzzles (Where you solve the mystery when you put the puzzle together.) and maze puzzles.
Then there are the puzzles pictures of multiple repeat things like marbles, pins and needles, buttons, and the like. For me the harder the better. I’ve even made puzzles upside down, with the card board facing up, just for the challenge.
At one time I swapped puzzles with my father, but he doesn’t jigsaw like he used to. Mountain Man doesn’t share my enjoyment for jigsaw puzzles and has only ‘helped out’ with a few pieces in the twenty years we have been married.
I am also a jigsaw re-do-er. That is to say I have a group of puzzles I do yearly, because I like them that much, and the rest I store for five years or more before doing them over again. I just don’t have the money to keep myself in new puzzles when I can remake the ones I have.
I do add some new puzzles yearly. I am a 750 puzzle piece a day puzzler. If there isn’t a jigsaw on the table I do one on the computer each day.
I have even made jigsaw puzzles for my doll houses. Nutty I know, but why not do what you like to do if it doesn’t hurt anyone else. Then again, it could always be I’m missing some of the puzzle pieces in my head.
Now go find some fun to put into your day. I’ll be doing jigsaw puzzles.
Labels:
My Life,
Pictures from my life:
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
On Slippery when Water Added:
On Sunday, Mountain Man had a meeting a few hours away. His church group was selling boxes of citrus fruit and it was delivery day. He left Sunday morning before ten o’clock to meet the others at the truck drop off point by noon.
For those of you that didn’t know, we in the Northeast had an rain/ice storm on Sunday.
He only made it half way to his destination before the cars in front of him started to slide off the ice covered highway and the traffic stopped. After a few hours the traffic had inched far enough for him to get off an exit and Mountain Man found a hotel near by.
He stayed in a hotel room for a few more hours before it warmed enough to melt the ice and he could start for home. But by then thick fog was forming.
I was beside myself with worry as I watched the news, that was when the electricity wasn’t off from the storm. With so many accidents piling up, even more roads were being closed because they had run out of emergency equipment to send out and clear up the accidents out there.
He finally made it home, late in the evening, with some little slippage and narrowly missed accidents around him as he went.
We watched the news together that night to see the even bigger pileups that were caused by the thick fog and wet roads after the ice storm passed. Those involved only had injuries and no fatalities, thank the powers that be.
Mountain Man was out retrieving and delivering his fruit on Monday and Tuesday without any trouble. And now I can tell the tale to its end.
I hate foul weather. And I hope that anyone ever has to be out in it ever again. Be safe out there please.
For those of you that didn’t know, we in the Northeast had an rain/ice storm on Sunday.
He only made it half way to his destination before the cars in front of him started to slide off the ice covered highway and the traffic stopped. After a few hours the traffic had inched far enough for him to get off an exit and Mountain Man found a hotel near by.
He stayed in a hotel room for a few more hours before it warmed enough to melt the ice and he could start for home. But by then thick fog was forming.
I was beside myself with worry as I watched the news, that was when the electricity wasn’t off from the storm. With so many accidents piling up, even more roads were being closed because they had run out of emergency equipment to send out and clear up the accidents out there.
He finally made it home, late in the evening, with some little slippage and narrowly missed accidents around him as he went.
We watched the news together that night to see the even bigger pileups that were caused by the thick fog and wet roads after the ice storm passed. Those involved only had injuries and no fatalities, thank the powers that be.
Mountain Man was out retrieving and delivering his fruit on Monday and Tuesday without any trouble. And now I can tell the tale to its end.
I hate foul weather. And I hope that anyone ever has to be out in it ever again. Be safe out there please.
Labels:
Mountain Man,
My Life
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
On Mind Over Colder:
As you may have noticed there has been a lack of crafting and picture talking from Casa Deathwatch. There is a simple reason. I hurt my thumb a few weeks back and I’m waiting for it to heal. I cut it slicing into a block of cheese, and thou the cut is healing well, there was a small but irritating infection left over.
I have been decorating the house for the winter season. (I don’t do specific holiday decorating.) Boring I know, but a lot less work.
I’ve packed up the autumn leaves and harvest motif and out comes the Icicles, snowflakes and snowmen.
I’m thinking of changing my approach thou. There is a draw back to this approach.
I find that even though the thermometer doesn’t change much inside the house, I feel colder with the fake snow and ice all around me.
There is a warm fire in the woodstove and home knit socks on my feet. I’m warm, but my head doesn’t seem to want to get it. I shiver for no reason, hug my tea mug and add another log on the fire.
I love the sparkle of the icicles and snowflakes as they catch the light. And since the northern hemisphere has been in a short day cycle, joyous energy giving light is at a premium.
Mind you, I like a nice gray over cast day. For me, it is like a day under the covers. And we all know the feeling of wanting to spend the day in bed.
I don’t know how I’d change the decorating if I didn’t do it the way I do. The long winter is too trying without something different to look at around the house that I spend so much time in, in the winter months.
So I’ll sit and shiver again this year, until I get used to the fake winter on the inside of my house.
I think I’ll have another cup of tea.
I have been decorating the house for the winter season. (I don’t do specific holiday decorating.) Boring I know, but a lot less work.
I’ve packed up the autumn leaves and harvest motif and out comes the Icicles, snowflakes and snowmen.
I’m thinking of changing my approach thou. There is a draw back to this approach.
I find that even though the thermometer doesn’t change much inside the house, I feel colder with the fake snow and ice all around me.
There is a warm fire in the woodstove and home knit socks on my feet. I’m warm, but my head doesn’t seem to want to get it. I shiver for no reason, hug my tea mug and add another log on the fire.
I love the sparkle of the icicles and snowflakes as they catch the light. And since the northern hemisphere has been in a short day cycle, joyous energy giving light is at a premium.
Mind you, I like a nice gray over cast day. For me, it is like a day under the covers. And we all know the feeling of wanting to spend the day in bed.
I don’t know how I’d change the decorating if I didn’t do it the way I do. The long winter is too trying without something different to look at around the house that I spend so much time in, in the winter months.
So I’ll sit and shiver again this year, until I get used to the fake winter on the inside of my house.
I think I’ll have another cup of tea.
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life
Monday, December 14, 2009
On Eating My Words:
Had I just gone to the mailbox before I opened my mouth, I wouldn’t have to eat my words. I kind of went off on the website for Kevin’s Mittens the other day.
I was still upset a week later because I was gone from the web for months. I was afraid that people had been giving mittens to the charity of their choice, reporting this to me, and that I had not been able to acknowledge them for their efforts by adding the reports to the total.
The website had been getting hits. Fifty to a hundred and nine a week during the time I was gone. A nice showing, but not one comment or email was left behind.
I was glad that people were stopping by and that some were interested in the free multi-sized mitten pattern I posted there. But I was saddened that not one person wanted to help others in this way.
People help others all the time and I was hoping that my son could be remembered in this way. And as a knitter I know that there are always left over yarn of various colors that can be worked together to made small projects like mittens too clean up the scraps not long enough to use otherwise.
Well I hadn’t been to the mailbox on Saturday and there was a package inside with seven pair of Kevin’s Mittens, along with a note from a family friend.
I will give these mittens to the homeless for her. Not that she couldn’t do the same herself, but it was nice be able to see mittens made by others for the cause.
I’m glad that the site is being used by people needing to know how to make mittens, even if it is not for the unknown needy, and that my son is not forgotten in this way. Hands are being warmed by the mittens inspired by my son and that warms my heart.
Happy mittens everyone! And if you see some after holiday sales with yarn, gloves or mittens at a great price. Think about giving an extra pair of mittens to someone that may need them in Kevin’s name.
Labels:
Kevin's Mittens,
My Life,
Projects
Sunday, December 13, 2009
On Reformed Grouch:
The last few days I’ve been a grouch. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Under my own black rain cloud. Not my sunny self.
No excuses. Just life’s ups and downs.
Nothing more then it was spent. Past. Used up.
I’m back and ready to have some fun. I should have broken out my wings days ago, but I just didn’t feel like it.
The holidays season is upon us! Life is too short to grump and grouch all day. Lets party!
I hope you can find some fun in each and every day. I sure will try.
No excuses. Just life’s ups and downs.
Nothing more then it was spent. Past. Used up.
I’m back and ready to have some fun. I should have broken out my wings days ago, but I just didn’t feel like it.
The holidays season is upon us! Life is too short to grump and grouch all day. Lets party!
I hope you can find some fun in each and every day. I sure will try.
Labels:
My Life,
Observations
Saturday, December 12, 2009
On Wanting My Memories Back:
I’ve complained about this before. Not that it made one bit of difference of course. But my memory has been shot full of holes since the chemo. I want my memories back.
Part of the joy of holidays is remembering the good times of the past. This for me is a double edged sword. Past memories are all mixed up with my son’s life. And though it has been ten years since his death, I still hurt at times at some of the memories I do have.
What I want is more of the good memories back. Remembering pinching little fingers in a door or being disappointed about a broken vase is not what I want to remember of his life. I want happy laughter and pleasant surprise times. Presents and wrappings, songs and fun, games and winnings, reading books and walks in the park.
I do remember some of these things, but the family talks about so many others I have no memory of. Why did the chemo erase more of the good times and less of the bad.
I want to remember the joy of his receiving his first bicycle not just the skinned knee from his first crash on it.
I’ve been shrinking back from participating in holiday festivities more and more each year since my son’s death. The fact that Mountain Man grew up in a family that minimized holidays leaving him a non participant even at the best of years doesn’t help matters much.
Try as I might, I can’t retrieve what is gone for good. There are no children in the house to help create new memories for my cash of good time memories for next year. And lets face it, most of holiday fun is designed for children’s pleasure and ours from the observing of it.
I’ve tried to make fun grownup holiday fun but that only leads to over eating in my singular celebrations and the months of extra exercise and dieting to fix the damage.
This year all I’ve done was color a picture a day in a holiday coloring book. Crayons still carry the magic of childhood that only the smell of a box of those brightly colored sticks of wax can bring. But what I really want this holiday season is a box of my old memories.
Friday, December 11, 2009
On Willing Vs. Fueling:
I haven’t had any pictures on the blog since I got back because I was out of batteries for my camera. Even rechargeable batteries die.
Well, I finally got batteries yesterday and we have pictures again.
The dogs sleeping behind the woodstove in the early morning hours. (The bedding is not as close to the stove as it looks in the picture.)
Yes, it is down to budgeting. I got my new internet connection, but it costs more, therefore other things don’t get bought in a timely manor. And then there is the saving for the other things I need. We don’t buy on credit unless absolutely necessary. We never have.
Living on a limited budgets suck rocks and it doesn’t grow at the same pace as the cost of living. We are better off then some. We have a house that is paid for and wood in the shed for the woodstove. There are canned goods from the garden in the pantry, and other food bought on sale in the freezer. We are doing okay.
I wish there were extras again. I like having treats and extra to share with others. Parties and presents are smaller and fewer this year.
Last night, on the news, one of the Holiday Toy Collection Groups was begging for toys for the needy children. Apparently the amount of children needing toys has grown and the donations have greatly dwindled. This will leave some children without any toys this year unlike previous years where the kids in need got a few toys each.
I want to help out. But how do I give more then I already do, when I can’t even keep myself in working appliances or batteries.
I willingly buy used, still working things, instead of new. Not just because I’m frugal, but it leaves me with more to help others with. But this year it is harder to help like I want to. Not even the battery bunny can keep going forever.
Well, I finally got batteries yesterday and we have pictures again.
The dogs sleeping behind the woodstove in the early morning hours. (The bedding is not as close to the stove as it looks in the picture.)
Yes, it is down to budgeting. I got my new internet connection, but it costs more, therefore other things don’t get bought in a timely manor. And then there is the saving for the other things I need. We don’t buy on credit unless absolutely necessary. We never have.
Living on a limited budgets suck rocks and it doesn’t grow at the same pace as the cost of living. We are better off then some. We have a house that is paid for and wood in the shed for the woodstove. There are canned goods from the garden in the pantry, and other food bought on sale in the freezer. We are doing okay.
I wish there were extras again. I like having treats and extra to share with others. Parties and presents are smaller and fewer this year.
Last night, on the news, one of the Holiday Toy Collection Groups was begging for toys for the needy children. Apparently the amount of children needing toys has grown and the donations have greatly dwindled. This will leave some children without any toys this year unlike previous years where the kids in need got a few toys each.
I want to help out. But how do I give more then I already do, when I can’t even keep myself in working appliances or batteries.
I willingly buy used, still working things, instead of new. Not just because I’m frugal, but it leaves me with more to help others with. But this year it is harder to help like I want to. Not even the battery bunny can keep going forever.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
On Twilight Zone Experiences:
Well, the weather cooperated some what. That is to say it snowed all night leaving four inches of snow on top of what we had from the snow on Saturday. It drizzled all morning making the snow heavy, slippery and sloppy.
The wind took down a few trees here and there making areas of traffic a mess. That along with fender benders made the weather reporter at noon tell people again to say home if at all possible.
I had to go. I had missed my last appointment because of Lady Short dieing that day.
The streets were wet, but fine, while we were out in the afternoon. We made it to the doctor’s office in record time. There had been cancellations and I was called right in.
I don’t know if it was the relaxed schedule with less people around or the fact that I asked him how he was doing, but the doctor started talking to me like we were life long friends. Out poured his feelings on life, death, religion and ethics, people and books that got him thinking about said things and his wish to have more answers.
He went on for twenty minutes with me sitting on the exam table in one of those blue wraparound hospital gowns. Not that I didn’t enjoy the intelligent conversation because I did, but it was kind of odd just the same.
Once the exam finally started he just kept on talking. It was the strangest exam time I ever had. I wished, with all my heart, that we were having the conversation in a different setting and that we had the rest of the day to continue the subject and at the same time I was feeling, get this thing over with already, I’m half naked in this chemo smelly place.
My tests came back all good and I’m now off the meds that made my seizures worse. I feel good, but more because I was there for the doctor to let his feeling out, as he must have needed to do, then because of my test results. I’ll feel good about that later. Right now I’m just glad I could be the one to help the doctor remain sane in a place filled with cancer.
The wind took down a few trees here and there making areas of traffic a mess. That along with fender benders made the weather reporter at noon tell people again to say home if at all possible.
I had to go. I had missed my last appointment because of Lady Short dieing that day.
The streets were wet, but fine, while we were out in the afternoon. We made it to the doctor’s office in record time. There had been cancellations and I was called right in.
I don’t know if it was the relaxed schedule with less people around or the fact that I asked him how he was doing, but the doctor started talking to me like we were life long friends. Out poured his feelings on life, death, religion and ethics, people and books that got him thinking about said things and his wish to have more answers.
He went on for twenty minutes with me sitting on the exam table in one of those blue wraparound hospital gowns. Not that I didn’t enjoy the intelligent conversation because I did, but it was kind of odd just the same.
Once the exam finally started he just kept on talking. It was the strangest exam time I ever had. I wished, with all my heart, that we were having the conversation in a different setting and that we had the rest of the day to continue the subject and at the same time I was feeling, get this thing over with already, I’m half naked in this chemo smelly place.
My tests came back all good and I’m now off the meds that made my seizures worse. I feel good, but more because I was there for the doctor to let his feeling out, as he must have needed to do, then because of my test results. I’ll feel good about that later. Right now I’m just glad I could be the one to help the doctor remain sane in a place filled with cancer.
Labels:
My Life,
Observations
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
On Doctor Visits:
Yesterday was Sir Laidback turn and he has a ‘Systemic yeast infection’ and a ‘Greatly compromised immune system’ from the very bad flee problem he had before we got him. Special shampoo, pills and special diet, back to the Vet in two weeks.
Today is my turn. I have an appointment at the oncologist (or Cancer Doc). I’m on the six month tune up plan now with yearly tests. Three years out and I still hate the smell of the place. ‘Chemo smell’ I call it. I reeked of it when I was on chemo. Even the dogs didn’t want me around.
I love the people there for saving me for the big bad cancer monster, but I hate the wash of bad memories that rush back every time I go through their door.
Mixed emotions every time. Old faces and new everywhere I look, happy ones and sad defeated ones. We all look a bit older and wiser for the experience.
I don’t expect to find out any bad news. They will just check the oil and look under the hood and send me home again. But there is always that little doubt that says in my ear, ‘It happened once, it could happen again.’
I am taking care of myself better than I did back then. I have a new awareness of the things to look for in health, energy and behavior.
I go down my list. The things that told me something was wrong in my body, but I ignored until I found the dimpling lump in my right breast.
Tired? No more then I should be at my age. No more naps in the afternoon because I just can’t go on.
Hick-ups? Not more then once a year and definitely not the daily kind I did have back then.
Teeth? Doing well and not one cavity since I started treatment like the sudden five I got just prior to the diagnosis. Cancer can make your system go too acid and cause extra cavities.
Allergy attacks? Hardly ever when I’m careful of what I’m eating and getting into contact with. No more out of whack attacks.
Check, check and recheck! I’m good! At least I hope so…
We are having a winter storm at the moment, so I’m not even sure I’ll get there today. More tomorrow.
Today is my turn. I have an appointment at the oncologist (or Cancer Doc). I’m on the six month tune up plan now with yearly tests. Three years out and I still hate the smell of the place. ‘Chemo smell’ I call it. I reeked of it when I was on chemo. Even the dogs didn’t want me around.
I love the people there for saving me for the big bad cancer monster, but I hate the wash of bad memories that rush back every time I go through their door.
Mixed emotions every time. Old faces and new everywhere I look, happy ones and sad defeated ones. We all look a bit older and wiser for the experience.
I don’t expect to find out any bad news. They will just check the oil and look under the hood and send me home again. But there is always that little doubt that says in my ear, ‘It happened once, it could happen again.’
I am taking care of myself better than I did back then. I have a new awareness of the things to look for in health, energy and behavior.
I go down my list. The things that told me something was wrong in my body, but I ignored until I found the dimpling lump in my right breast.
Tired? No more then I should be at my age. No more naps in the afternoon because I just can’t go on.
Hick-ups? Not more then once a year and definitely not the daily kind I did have back then.
Teeth? Doing well and not one cavity since I started treatment like the sudden five I got just prior to the diagnosis. Cancer can make your system go too acid and cause extra cavities.
Allergy attacks? Hardly ever when I’m careful of what I’m eating and getting into contact with. No more out of whack attacks.
Check, check and recheck! I’m good! At least I hope so…
We are having a winter storm at the moment, so I’m not even sure I’ll get there today. More tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
On Caring for Sir Laidback the Dog:
Sir Laidback is heading to the Veterinarian today. His ears are itchy and so is his skin where the rash was and it smells like a yeast infection to me. I think he was on steroids before we got him because he is only five years old and has cataracts too.
I have trouble with people that do the easy thing like steroids for his allergies and don’t look out for the pets long term best interest.
Sir Laidback obviously had some training in manors and deportment. He has been around other dogs on a regular basis and walked on a leash every time he stepped out of the door.
He didn’t do some dog things as a matter of course. He acted more like a human then a dog when he first got here. These, of course, have been trained out of him. I know this to be true because Mountain Man had to re-train him to jump up on his chair to sit together and watch TV in the evenings and to walk out of the door without a leash on in the morning to have a quick pee in the yard. He now knows what it is to be cuddled and not just groomed and preened.
And Sir Laidback does like the new rules. It’s not like he has the run of the house. Its just a little more relaxed around here. He is starting to get this dog stuff. Running around and playing off leash, barking at will and sleeping on a dog pillow/beds just the right distance from the woodstove and not locked in a cage for the night in a cold corner. (The only place the cage fit without blocking a door.)
Not that any of that stuff is bad. But the cage thing isn’t comfortable when it is too far or too close to the heat and he couldn’t move to a better location.
Yes, we may have too many dog beds laying around, both closer and further to the woodstove. But the dogs can find the one that is most comfortable for the time of the night that is coldest or warmest for them.
We love our pets and want the best for them. But we expect them to be pets and not overly trained show dogs.
I have trouble with people that do the easy thing like steroids for his allergies and don’t look out for the pets long term best interest.
Sir Laidback obviously had some training in manors and deportment. He has been around other dogs on a regular basis and walked on a leash every time he stepped out of the door.
He didn’t do some dog things as a matter of course. He acted more like a human then a dog when he first got here. These, of course, have been trained out of him. I know this to be true because Mountain Man had to re-train him to jump up on his chair to sit together and watch TV in the evenings and to walk out of the door without a leash on in the morning to have a quick pee in the yard. He now knows what it is to be cuddled and not just groomed and preened.
And Sir Laidback does like the new rules. It’s not like he has the run of the house. Its just a little more relaxed around here. He is starting to get this dog stuff. Running around and playing off leash, barking at will and sleeping on a dog pillow/beds just the right distance from the woodstove and not locked in a cage for the night in a cold corner. (The only place the cage fit without blocking a door.)
Not that any of that stuff is bad. But the cage thing isn’t comfortable when it is too far or too close to the heat and he couldn’t move to a better location.
Yes, we may have too many dog beds laying around, both closer and further to the woodstove. But the dogs can find the one that is most comfortable for the time of the night that is coldest or warmest for them.
We love our pets and want the best for them. But we expect them to be pets and not overly trained show dogs.
Monday, December 7, 2009
On Puzzles and Games:
Today I got up a bit later then yesterday. I don’t get up at 4:30 every morning. I had been doing a jigsaw puzzle last night and it captured my attention again as I was folding laundry this morning and I could see some new puzzle piece placement from across the table.
Like all things puzzling, Puzzles seem to stick in the mind, at least they do for me. A piece of my mind still works on them even when I’m not in the same room. I dream puzzles and games, if not outright, they are part of the landscape or decoration of the room.
Like in Alice’s world down the rabbit hole or through the mirror. Puzzle books lay about. Games are set up in a corner of the room. Cards are found in the print of the wall paper. Numbers can be found in clouds or tree branches and game pieces stand in for bushes and pinnacles.
I don’t discriminate with puzzles. I like all kinds. Number, letter, spatial, jigsaw or pieces, color, I like them all. I have books of Mensa puzzles. I’ve seducu puzzled every time I came across them since the seventies when they were first invented. Cross word and jigsaw puzzles played an important part of my childhood.
As far as games go I’m a fan of video games. Not for any other reason then I never have to look for someone to play with. Mountain Man is not a games person. The Princess Daughter is not really a game person either. The Prince Charming (Son-in-law) played some Wii games with me and they (the kids and Mountain Man included) played Parcheesi with me when they came home for Thanksgiving.
I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have puzzles and games to keep my mind busy. I do know I’d be a depressive type person. Maybe I should have been a real life Abby like in NCIS, but I’m me with my own type of life, and puzzles and games make me happy.
I may not have the cleanest house on the block but I think I’m the happiest. Puzzle/Game On!
Like all things puzzling, Puzzles seem to stick in the mind, at least they do for me. A piece of my mind still works on them even when I’m not in the same room. I dream puzzles and games, if not outright, they are part of the landscape or decoration of the room.
Like in Alice’s world down the rabbit hole or through the mirror. Puzzle books lay about. Games are set up in a corner of the room. Cards are found in the print of the wall paper. Numbers can be found in clouds or tree branches and game pieces stand in for bushes and pinnacles.
I don’t discriminate with puzzles. I like all kinds. Number, letter, spatial, jigsaw or pieces, color, I like them all. I have books of Mensa puzzles. I’ve seducu puzzled every time I came across them since the seventies when they were first invented. Cross word and jigsaw puzzles played an important part of my childhood.
As far as games go I’m a fan of video games. Not for any other reason then I never have to look for someone to play with. Mountain Man is not a games person. The Princess Daughter is not really a game person either. The Prince Charming (Son-in-law) played some Wii games with me and they (the kids and Mountain Man included) played Parcheesi with me when they came home for Thanksgiving.
I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have puzzles and games to keep my mind busy. I do know I’d be a depressive type person. Maybe I should have been a real life Abby like in NCIS, but I’m me with my own type of life, and puzzles and games make me happy.
I may not have the cleanest house on the block but I think I’m the happiest. Puzzle/Game On!
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life
Sunday, December 6, 2009
On Contemplating Snow:
Despite the hours I sat on the window seat watching the snow come down yesterday, I got up early and sat watching it lay still and pale in the moonlight this morning.
Yesterday I stopped to take a look at the snow coming down. ‘Only a moment.’ I told myself. Then, ‘Just let me get a cup of tea.’ I thought. ‘Put on some music. Wrap myself in a blanket. Grab some knitting.’
Ahh! But it was too late.
I had looked. I had sat down. I was hooked. And like a small child I watched the flakes float down and collect in my yard. They landed on the grass. The stone wall. The bushes and trees. Frosting! Fluffy white frosting!
I let my mind wander to its own fanciful tune. Sleigh bells, winter (not Christmas) songs played endlessly in my head until even they went away. Santa was not thought of, he was still too far away. I was in the moment. Riding a snowflake as it drifted on the almost nonexistent breeze.
A bird on the feeder, first one then another, would try to catch my attention. But the snow itself held me fast. I stopped thinking about the structure of the flakes themselves, the cold, the job of clearing the walk, snowballs and snowmen and forts. I just let go.
I was, like a two year old, seeing snow for the first time. Watching each flake bank in the breeze. Whorl in the wind. Come to rest ever so lightly with its friends.
Collecting, amassing, congregating, building. A quite blanket coating the familiar making it bright, fresh and new. The hours fled by and I sat watching the snow.
I was up at four thirty this morning and couldn’t resist just watching the stillness of the moonlit landscape outside my door. Trying to recapture the innocence of watching the snow come down outside my house again. Looking for the feeling of ‘not one speck of guilt for the things I wasn’t getting done.’ It didn’t come. Today I’m a grow-up again. Remembering sitting, not thinking or caring, and just watching snow.
Yesterday I stopped to take a look at the snow coming down. ‘Only a moment.’ I told myself. Then, ‘Just let me get a cup of tea.’ I thought. ‘Put on some music. Wrap myself in a blanket. Grab some knitting.’
Ahh! But it was too late.
I had looked. I had sat down. I was hooked. And like a small child I watched the flakes float down and collect in my yard. They landed on the grass. The stone wall. The bushes and trees. Frosting! Fluffy white frosting!
I let my mind wander to its own fanciful tune. Sleigh bells, winter (not Christmas) songs played endlessly in my head until even they went away. Santa was not thought of, he was still too far away. I was in the moment. Riding a snowflake as it drifted on the almost nonexistent breeze.
A bird on the feeder, first one then another, would try to catch my attention. But the snow itself held me fast. I stopped thinking about the structure of the flakes themselves, the cold, the job of clearing the walk, snowballs and snowmen and forts. I just let go.
I was, like a two year old, seeing snow for the first time. Watching each flake bank in the breeze. Whorl in the wind. Come to rest ever so lightly with its friends.
Collecting, amassing, congregating, building. A quite blanket coating the familiar making it bright, fresh and new. The hours fled by and I sat watching the snow.
I was up at four thirty this morning and couldn’t resist just watching the stillness of the moonlit landscape outside my door. Trying to recapture the innocence of watching the snow come down outside my house again. Looking for the feeling of ‘not one speck of guilt for the things I wasn’t getting done.’ It didn’t come. Today I’m a grow-up again. Remembering sitting, not thinking or caring, and just watching snow.
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life,
Observations
Saturday, December 5, 2009
On Just Broken Glass:
So, I was getting ready for the wedding, putting on my makeup, and I knocked over my makeup mirror. There it lay in pieces on the floor.
Is this the cause of all the negative luck I’ve been having of late with my computer and appliances? I have never believed in this broken mirror stuff before, but this was a magnifying mirror. And that could be the clincher. It just might have magnified the bad luck.
It is true that my mother believes I was born under a dark star. That bad luck has followed me all of my life. If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck to call my own. I just don’t choose to look at it that way.
I have some good luck at times. Accidents happen to us all. I usually do have a good relationship with electronics though. Maybe it was my out and out animosity at Vista that changed things, but my Vista computer doesn’t like me. Rubert has taken to shocking me. No one else gets these zaps that leave red marks or even burns. I’ve had it checked out a number of times and no one else can find the short or feels the burn.
This last time, I got a burn on my finger and my temple too, zap/flash. Rubert has been unplugged and Gladys the notebook is my new best computer friend.
Now that I have high speed wireless internet service I can get on the web and have my phone too. Gladys may not be big and strong but she gets the job done. Rubert may need replacing along with the gas stove, the washer and the vacuum cleaner.
The mirror may have broken but I’m going to get new things to replace the old in this next year. I call that good luck if you ask me. And I didn’t even get cut cleaning up the broken glass.
Is this the cause of all the negative luck I’ve been having of late with my computer and appliances? I have never believed in this broken mirror stuff before, but this was a magnifying mirror. And that could be the clincher. It just might have magnified the bad luck.
It is true that my mother believes I was born under a dark star. That bad luck has followed me all of my life. If I didn’t have bad luck I’d have no luck to call my own. I just don’t choose to look at it that way.
I have some good luck at times. Accidents happen to us all. I usually do have a good relationship with electronics though. Maybe it was my out and out animosity at Vista that changed things, but my Vista computer doesn’t like me. Rubert has taken to shocking me. No one else gets these zaps that leave red marks or even burns. I’ve had it checked out a number of times and no one else can find the short or feels the burn.
This last time, I got a burn on my finger and my temple too, zap/flash. Rubert has been unplugged and Gladys the notebook is my new best computer friend.
Now that I have high speed wireless internet service I can get on the web and have my phone too. Gladys may not be big and strong but she gets the job done. Rubert may need replacing along with the gas stove, the washer and the vacuum cleaner.
The mirror may have broken but I’m going to get new things to replace the old in this next year. I call that good luck if you ask me. And I didn’t even get cut cleaning up the broken glass.
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life
Friday, December 4, 2009
On Visiting Friends on the Internet:
Well, I woke this morning with a case of eye strain from reading and answering over a hundred emails waiting for me in my in boxes. I still have a number of emails to return today then I’ll get into reading the blogs I have been missing all these weeks.
What was I doing while computer-less? Mostly I was playing video games on my Wii gaming system. I lost a few pounds, thank you very much, but even that wasn’t worth being locked out of daily info from my friends and family. I have discovered it was very lonely down the rabbit hole.
Halloween was a bust this year. Thanksgiving brought the newlyweds visiting my door. But the rest of the time I was fighting monsters and collecting gaming pits and pieces toward the various games ends. (Which, by the way, brought me further then ever before in said games. I‘m feeling like a real gamer now.) Exercise was also on the agenda. With a Wii in the house it was hard to avoid.
I am now five pounds lighter then I was for the wedding. I lost the weight I gained after the wedding and then some. A good thing, but only born of frustration. It was down to exercise or throw the computer up against the wall in unvarnished anger.
I anticipate gaining a few pound back with holiday eating and sitting on my butt for hours on end at the computer again. But life without communication with friends is too hard to even think about doing again any time soon.
I missed you all. From the drama to the wonderfully boring, everyday rhythm of life. I’m happy again, because I’m connected (and now I‘m upgraded to high speed too.) And, like the little sign I have taped onto the corner of my computer screen says, “I love my computer, because my friends live in it.” I’m glad that this computers window on the world is now open again and I’m back visiting with you.
What was I doing while computer-less? Mostly I was playing video games on my Wii gaming system. I lost a few pounds, thank you very much, but even that wasn’t worth being locked out of daily info from my friends and family. I have discovered it was very lonely down the rabbit hole.
Halloween was a bust this year. Thanksgiving brought the newlyweds visiting my door. But the rest of the time I was fighting monsters and collecting gaming pits and pieces toward the various games ends. (Which, by the way, brought me further then ever before in said games. I‘m feeling like a real gamer now.) Exercise was also on the agenda. With a Wii in the house it was hard to avoid.
I am now five pounds lighter then I was for the wedding. I lost the weight I gained after the wedding and then some. A good thing, but only born of frustration. It was down to exercise or throw the computer up against the wall in unvarnished anger.
I anticipate gaining a few pound back with holiday eating and sitting on my butt for hours on end at the computer again. But life without communication with friends is too hard to even think about doing again any time soon.
I missed you all. From the drama to the wonderfully boring, everyday rhythm of life. I’m happy again, because I’m connected (and now I‘m upgraded to high speed too.) And, like the little sign I have taped onto the corner of my computer screen says, “I love my computer, because my friends live in it.” I’m glad that this computers window on the world is now open again and I’m back visiting with you.
Labels:
My Life,
Observations
Thursday, December 3, 2009
On Falling into a Rabbit Hole:
Hello!
Any one still out there?
I had a few hiccups. I fell in the rabbit hole of computer and/or cash problems. My computer died and so did my gas stove. And as you could guess, long story short, I had to wait until the money was there to do anything about it. (Still low on cash since the wedding.)
If not for the wood stoves I wouldn't have anyway to cook but I'm back on the web with a bigger better internet provider to boot. I plan to blog daily again for a while.
I hope that all of you are doing good. I'm so sorry for the wait.
Sincerely, Lady Euphoria Deathwatch
Any one still out there?
I had a few hiccups. I fell in the rabbit hole of computer and/or cash problems. My computer died and so did my gas stove. And as you could guess, long story short, I had to wait until the money was there to do anything about it. (Still low on cash since the wedding.)
If not for the wood stoves I wouldn't have anyway to cook but I'm back on the web with a bigger better internet provider to boot. I plan to blog daily again for a while.
I hope that all of you are doing good. I'm so sorry for the wait.
Sincerely, Lady Euphoria Deathwatch
Monday, October 26, 2009
On Being a Klutz:
I discovered that someone backed into my mailbox and broke their tail light to pieces. They knocked the mailbox off its post too. Mountain Man repaired it before I could get the camera from the house for a picture, but it was a sight, all dangling backwards like it was. No note or anything. People these days.
I on the other hand, I can’t talk too loudly. I spilled my glass of juice on my laptop computer. I had to wait most of the day until it totally dried out so I didn’t kill it turning it on.
Accidents happen.
Sir Laidback, the dog, is fitting in nicely. He has some problems, but we are adjusting. He can’t see well. Not blind but he looses things easily that he is sighted on. He loves tug games but can’t play catch. If we walk too far head of him he can’t find us without smelling or listening to our calls. He stays close to the house. He prefers to have a leash on when outside and more then fifteen feet from the door. He bumps into things at times in low light. So, now that we know this, we compensate and all is well.
We all have klutzy moments for a lot of different reasons. So I’ll forgive the bump to my mailbox and move on.
I’m hoping for a better day tomorrow.
I on the other hand, I can’t talk too loudly. I spilled my glass of juice on my laptop computer. I had to wait most of the day until it totally dried out so I didn’t kill it turning it on.
Accidents happen.
Sir Laidback, the dog, is fitting in nicely. He has some problems, but we are adjusting. He can’t see well. Not blind but he looses things easily that he is sighted on. He loves tug games but can’t play catch. If we walk too far head of him he can’t find us without smelling or listening to our calls. He stays close to the house. He prefers to have a leash on when outside and more then fifteen feet from the door. He bumps into things at times in low light. So, now that we know this, we compensate and all is well.
We all have klutzy moments for a lot of different reasons. So I’ll forgive the bump to my mailbox and move on.
I’m hoping for a better day tomorrow.
Labels:
My Life,
Observations,
Pets:
Sunday, October 25, 2009
On Rain, Rain Go Away:
It was raining at my house. It had been raining since the evening before yesterdays wash out. There were light spots at times, but mostly it had been pouring.
The dogs slept for the most part. What makes dogs sleep the rainy days away? They have been domesticated for many generations. Why sleep like the wild animals still do on a rainy day? This one is not for me to know, I guess.
I had been trying to get on the internet all of yesterday morning, but with the wet weather, the competition for telephone lines kept on knocking me offline before I could get the pages loaded for the post to my blog, but I kept on mindlessly trying.
Yesterday afternoon: Still raining. Dogs still sleeping. Internet still a bother. Still couldn’t get on.
Walking the dogs in that rain has been an adventure. Wait until the rain slows down, get the leash and run outside. The dogs hug the house and tiptoe around the puddles. Once they find a spot worth the try it is pouring again and they give up and run to the door. I was fast running out of dog towels drying them off every half an hour or so until they finally ‘did their business.’
Early this morning: No More Rain Today, Please! Oh! Singing the song over and over yesterday worked finally! It stopped sometime in the night. Phew!
There is a Hootie Owl singing in the trees just north of the house for the last few mornings. When Lady Short was first gone it was a sad sound. Now it happily greets me as I walk the dogs first thing in the morning, before it is light.
Not that I’m not still sad about her passing. Its just that it was time for her to go. She was used up and tired. And having a younger and more health dog in the house has livened up the place. I find I’m very glad we did not get a puppy. A puppy would have been too much, too soon. Lady Long is an old dog of twelve herself.
Sir Laidback is just right for us.
The dogs slept for the most part. What makes dogs sleep the rainy days away? They have been domesticated for many generations. Why sleep like the wild animals still do on a rainy day? This one is not for me to know, I guess.
I had been trying to get on the internet all of yesterday morning, but with the wet weather, the competition for telephone lines kept on knocking me offline before I could get the pages loaded for the post to my blog, but I kept on mindlessly trying.
Yesterday afternoon: Still raining. Dogs still sleeping. Internet still a bother. Still couldn’t get on.
Walking the dogs in that rain has been an adventure. Wait until the rain slows down, get the leash and run outside. The dogs hug the house and tiptoe around the puddles. Once they find a spot worth the try it is pouring again and they give up and run to the door. I was fast running out of dog towels drying them off every half an hour or so until they finally ‘did their business.’
Early this morning: No More Rain Today, Please! Oh! Singing the song over and over yesterday worked finally! It stopped sometime in the night. Phew!
There is a Hootie Owl singing in the trees just north of the house for the last few mornings. When Lady Short was first gone it was a sad sound. Now it happily greets me as I walk the dogs first thing in the morning, before it is light.
Not that I’m not still sad about her passing. Its just that it was time for her to go. She was used up and tired. And having a younger and more health dog in the house has livened up the place. I find I’m very glad we did not get a puppy. A puppy would have been too much, too soon. Lady Long is an old dog of twelve herself.
Sir Laidback is just right for us.
Labels:
Leakings From My Brain:,
My Life
Friday, October 23, 2009
On The Same but Different:
Mountain Man rushed me out the door early in the morning to see if he was ready for a new dog by visiting the local SPCA.
There was the usual lot of rag tag to well groomed lonely dogs in cages. We walked around a few times to look them all over. In the very back corner was a flea bitten Puggle (Pug Beagle Mix) looking a bit stressed like the rest.
This dog was a male and Mountain Man had stated he was used to a female dog and wanted the same. He was rashy and on meds for a skin infection. He was five years old. He had been there for five days with little interest. I thought it was over when Mountain Man got teary eyed wanting Lady Short back again and he told me that, ‘No other was going to do.’
But… Mountain Man asked to have a one on one visit with this little stranger. After the short time it took for the dog to believe someone wanted to spend some time with him and him alone, the dog let Mountain Man do most anything to him he that had a mind to without complaint, but never once answered to the name written on his paperwork. (Pugs can be aloof at first, but generally like to answer to their name.)
Once Mountain Man decided that it felt like a good enough fit we had to leave him behind to get Lady Long for a ‘meet and greet’ first.
We returned with Lady Long at the meeting time we were given and after a brief sniffing over by both dogs, they went off to sniff out other things in the area. A success! (Were you in doubt?) Paper work and information was past back and forth. License and ID chip info were attached to his new collar. And Sir Laidback (not his real name by the way.) came home with us.
He is well behaved and fairly quiet, listens well and has taken to his new name like he never had another. His rash is growing smaller already and he likes his new crate.
Sir Laidback has one thing that makes us laugh every time. He thinks the wood stove is a sun window without the brightness. Pugs like to sit in a sun puddle on the floor and bake in the warmth. And he finds it the best world ever that has a sun puddle that doesn’t move and is not overly bright.
Sir Laidback fits and it feels almost like he’s been here for months instead of hours.
We still miss Lady Short and a tear comes now and then, but the house does not feel as empty now.
There was the usual lot of rag tag to well groomed lonely dogs in cages. We walked around a few times to look them all over. In the very back corner was a flea bitten Puggle (Pug Beagle Mix) looking a bit stressed like the rest.
This dog was a male and Mountain Man had stated he was used to a female dog and wanted the same. He was rashy and on meds for a skin infection. He was five years old. He had been there for five days with little interest. I thought it was over when Mountain Man got teary eyed wanting Lady Short back again and he told me that, ‘No other was going to do.’
But… Mountain Man asked to have a one on one visit with this little stranger. After the short time it took for the dog to believe someone wanted to spend some time with him and him alone, the dog let Mountain Man do most anything to him he that had a mind to without complaint, but never once answered to the name written on his paperwork. (Pugs can be aloof at first, but generally like to answer to their name.)
Once Mountain Man decided that it felt like a good enough fit we had to leave him behind to get Lady Long for a ‘meet and greet’ first.
We returned with Lady Long at the meeting time we were given and after a brief sniffing over by both dogs, they went off to sniff out other things in the area. A success! (Were you in doubt?) Paper work and information was past back and forth. License and ID chip info were attached to his new collar. And Sir Laidback (not his real name by the way.) came home with us.
He is well behaved and fairly quiet, listens well and has taken to his new name like he never had another. His rash is growing smaller already and he likes his new crate.
Sir Laidback has one thing that makes us laugh every time. He thinks the wood stove is a sun window without the brightness. Pugs like to sit in a sun puddle on the floor and bake in the warmth. And he finds it the best world ever that has a sun puddle that doesn’t move and is not overly bright.
Sir Laidback fits and it feels almost like he’s been here for months instead of hours.
We still miss Lady Short and a tear comes now and then, but the house does not feel as empty now.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
On Dog Gone:
I finally got to the point that I could go through the pictures of Lady Short and show you a few. For days every time I tried to do this, I just cried too hard to get it done.
This is Lady Short, aka Abby, at five weeks on the bottom and eight weeks on top. The day she came home with us I got to see her bond with Mountain Man.
This is the last decent picture I have of her once she got old. The rest show how sick she was becoming and I don’t want to remember her that way.
She was a lively sweet dog all of her days.
By the way, Mountain Man is still looking for the perfect dog to be his new side kick and the Princess Daughter is helping hunt on the internet for the best adult dog for him. We have decided not to get another puppy because it would be too hard on Lady Long.
This is Lady Short, aka Abby, at five weeks on the bottom and eight weeks on top. The day she came home with us I got to see her bond with Mountain Man.
This is the last decent picture I have of her once she got old. The rest show how sick she was becoming and I don’t want to remember her that way.
She was a lively sweet dog all of her days.
By the way, Mountain Man is still looking for the perfect dog to be his new side kick and the Princess Daughter is helping hunt on the internet for the best adult dog for him. We have decided not to get another puppy because it would be too hard on Lady Long.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
On Lady Bugs:
Yesterday afternoon there was a Ladybug bloom in the yard. I was concerned that we wouldn’t have one this year with the early cold and snow. But yesterday the sun was out, the day warmed just enough, and the ladybug rose up out of the grass and into the air like a friendly cloud.
Most people I talk to find their gathering in the autumn annoying. They do find any open window crack or opened door filling the house with dieing bugs on the inside of windows. But I go outside and walk through the lightly held together cloud of bugs lazy flight in the air and let them land on me.
I guess that I should have put on my ladybug wings if I had wanted them to stay on me longer, but I found their tickles on my skin just at the tolerable level, so it was all good.
They would land, crawl a few inches and take off again, only to be replaced with another bug a few moments later. It was peaceful and friendly and happy for a while.
They all left me once I walked into the shade of the oak trees. Leaving me to walk on alone. But the tickle of their touch and the feeling of their friendly visits on me went with me into the rest of the day.
They floated and flew in the sun until the day grew colder. Still, just thinking about them warms my heart.
PS: Mountain Man spent hours looking at older (Not puppies any longer) Pugs and Puggles (pug beagle mix)on the internet, that are looking for a good home. He’s not ready yet, but it helps him fill the empty hours.
Most people I talk to find their gathering in the autumn annoying. They do find any open window crack or opened door filling the house with dieing bugs on the inside of windows. But I go outside and walk through the lightly held together cloud of bugs lazy flight in the air and let them land on me.
I guess that I should have put on my ladybug wings if I had wanted them to stay on me longer, but I found their tickles on my skin just at the tolerable level, so it was all good.
They would land, crawl a few inches and take off again, only to be replaced with another bug a few moments later. It was peaceful and friendly and happy for a while.
They all left me once I walked into the shade of the oak trees. Leaving me to walk on alone. But the tickle of their touch and the feeling of their friendly visits on me went with me into the rest of the day.
They floated and flew in the sun until the day grew colder. Still, just thinking about them warms my heart.
PS: Mountain Man spent hours looking at older (Not puppies any longer) Pugs and Puggles (pug beagle mix)on the internet, that are looking for a good home. He’s not ready yet, but it helps him fill the empty hours.
Labels:
Flights of Fancy:,
My Life
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
On The Death of a Pet:
Hi Friends,
I’m sorry that I have been absent for so long. I know you will understand when I tell you that the Pug dog, Lady Short as she was known here, (Or Abby as she was named by Mountain Man so long ago.) has died.
She needed 24 hour care in the last weeks. And for a dog as likable and loving as she was, it was not a chore.
We had her for thirteen and a half years. And her remains are interred in the Oak Grove to the west of the house.
Although never a mother herself, she mothered and protected all smaller pets that came into the house. She would help Mountain Man by collecting sticks and twigs whenever he worked on the wood pile, a trick she came up with herself, and by helping Mountain Man through many a life trial. They were inseparable.
The empty space in our lives since her death has been enormous. And Lady Short, the Dashund still does not understand what has happened. For now it is sad days in our house, but we will overcome and love a new dog when the time comes.
I’m sorry that I have been absent for so long. I know you will understand when I tell you that the Pug dog, Lady Short as she was known here, (Or Abby as she was named by Mountain Man so long ago.) has died.
She needed 24 hour care in the last weeks. And for a dog as likable and loving as she was, it was not a chore.
We had her for thirteen and a half years. And her remains are interred in the Oak Grove to the west of the house.
Although never a mother herself, she mothered and protected all smaller pets that came into the house. She would help Mountain Man by collecting sticks and twigs whenever he worked on the wood pile, a trick she came up with herself, and by helping Mountain Man through many a life trial. They were inseparable.
The empty space in our lives since her death has been enormous. And Lady Short, the Dashund still does not understand what has happened. For now it is sad days in our house, but we will overcome and love a new dog when the time comes.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
On Green Beans, and Wax Beans, and Beets, Oh My!:
I can’t believe it’s been twelve days since I blogged last. I wanted to fire up the computer each day. As I cut green and wax beans and beets and corn and… or I did other needed household tasks, I would think about turning on the computer. But I never did get that far.
I missed you, you know.
I miss reading the blogs of others. I miss reading my emails. I miss knowing what is going on.
I missed telling you what is going on around here, even though there hasn’t really been anything going on around here except canning veggies.
I have been planning my gothy attack on the Halloween treasures in the stores and making plans for more goth and/or fairy/wood nymph costumes for my collections. A lady can’t have too many wings, don’t you know.
We are not done with the canning, alas. And shopping for gothy stuff is still going to be a future trip.
We have been watching ‘The Waltons’ (The seventy’s TV show.) on DVD as we can our fruits and veggies. I got a good deal on the first eight years of the show a while ago and they just seemed to fit the mood of canning, like they did in the old days of the depression. We are on the Fourth year of the show and I wonder if we will finish the canning or the DVD’s first.
I know that the world has been moving forward with out me the last two weeks and I miss it a lot, but I have to say that it is a lot easier to just do the canning without the daily interruptions I let in when I turn the computer on.
It won’t be too much longer, I hope, before I will have the time to blog again with abandon. See you all then.
I missed you, you know.
I miss reading the blogs of others. I miss reading my emails. I miss knowing what is going on.
I missed telling you what is going on around here, even though there hasn’t really been anything going on around here except canning veggies.
I have been planning my gothy attack on the Halloween treasures in the stores and making plans for more goth and/or fairy/wood nymph costumes for my collections. A lady can’t have too many wings, don’t you know.
We are not done with the canning, alas. And shopping for gothy stuff is still going to be a future trip.
We have been watching ‘The Waltons’ (The seventy’s TV show.) on DVD as we can our fruits and veggies. I got a good deal on the first eight years of the show a while ago and they just seemed to fit the mood of canning, like they did in the old days of the depression. We are on the Fourth year of the show and I wonder if we will finish the canning or the DVD’s first.
I know that the world has been moving forward with out me the last two weeks and I miss it a lot, but I have to say that it is a lot easier to just do the canning without the daily interruptions I let in when I turn the computer on.
It won’t be too much longer, I hope, before I will have the time to blog again with abandon. See you all then.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
On Why I Started Blogging:
I started blogging back in May of 2008 to try to connect with other people. There were friends and family that I could connect with but not on all the levels that interested me. I had ideas and thoughts that the people around me found odd. Not bad, weird or sick ideas. Just not their cup of tea.
In some ways my blogging has opened up a dialog here at home that was impossible before. The people around me found that I was not as different from others, or themselves, as they once thought.
That said, they also found that my having a new group of people in the world to converse with let them off the hook. They didn’t have to talk with me about the things we used to talk about as common interests. I might slide into talking about gothy things.
Mountain Man watched as my relationships with friends and family had ups and downs, but mostly downs. Watched as I reached out time and again only to be ignored.
In trying to expand my circle of friends, it seems I have only reduced the numbers around me here at home.
I love and care about my internet friends with all the friendship and caring I do the other relationships in my life. I don’t know how to turn my back on others and it is not in me to learn how to now.
I've had a lot of fun here and learned a few things here also. I wouldn't give it up for the world.
But saying that, I have not been the friend I once was. I don’t have the time I’d like to right now to sit and hang out on the web. The veggies won’t can and freeze themselves.
So instead of feeling guilty and frustrated. I’ll just say it out. I got some things to do and I can’t do a daily blog right now.
I’m not abandoning blogging for ‘face book’ or ‘twitter.’ (I don’t even have an account with them, or feel the need to check them out.) I made myself crazy last year trying to fit everything in and just lost sleep.
So friends out there in cyber land, I’m not out playing with my other friends. I’m working at home and I’m hoping to find more time when harvest time is done.
In some ways my blogging has opened up a dialog here at home that was impossible before. The people around me found that I was not as different from others, or themselves, as they once thought.
That said, they also found that my having a new group of people in the world to converse with let them off the hook. They didn’t have to talk with me about the things we used to talk about as common interests. I might slide into talking about gothy things.
Mountain Man watched as my relationships with friends and family had ups and downs, but mostly downs. Watched as I reached out time and again only to be ignored.
In trying to expand my circle of friends, it seems I have only reduced the numbers around me here at home.
I love and care about my internet friends with all the friendship and caring I do the other relationships in my life. I don’t know how to turn my back on others and it is not in me to learn how to now.
I've had a lot of fun here and learned a few things here also. I wouldn't give it up for the world.
But saying that, I have not been the friend I once was. I don’t have the time I’d like to right now to sit and hang out on the web. The veggies won’t can and freeze themselves.
So instead of feeling guilty and frustrated. I’ll just say it out. I got some things to do and I can’t do a daily blog right now.
I’m not abandoning blogging for ‘face book’ or ‘twitter.’ (I don’t even have an account with them, or feel the need to check them out.) I made myself crazy last year trying to fit everything in and just lost sleep.
So friends out there in cyber land, I’m not out playing with my other friends. I’m working at home and I’m hoping to find more time when harvest time is done.
Monday, September 14, 2009
On If its Monday, than I was Lost:
The plans I had for the last week all went in the ash can. I was sick with some head cold thing that blossomed into a major, many day migraine. I’m told it is Monday the fourteenth and my computer agrees, so I’m moving on from that point and giving up the last week as lost.
On the good end of things, I lost some weight while I was sick. How much is still to be determined. I’ll know more after I’m through re-hydrating.
I have nothing to show you because nothing on the project front was accomplished. Mountain Man is so glad that I am up and about, he has agreed to help me with the coffin building today because it is supposed to rain later in the week. Weather is a factor, have to work on it outside because it is too big of a project for his work shop area indoors.
I dreamed about embroidery patterns while I was sick. Some were far to complicated or far fetched to replicate on my crazy quilt, but some of them will make the final cut.
I’ll start to read and catch up with what you have been up to on your blogs and emails a little later today, Mountain Man wants to work on the wood this morning.
I’m back in the real world and I think its Monday.
On the good end of things, I lost some weight while I was sick. How much is still to be determined. I’ll know more after I’m through re-hydrating.
I have nothing to show you because nothing on the project front was accomplished. Mountain Man is so glad that I am up and about, he has agreed to help me with the coffin building today because it is supposed to rain later in the week. Weather is a factor, have to work on it outside because it is too big of a project for his work shop area indoors.
I dreamed about embroidery patterns while I was sick. Some were far to complicated or far fetched to replicate on my crazy quilt, but some of them will make the final cut.
I’ll start to read and catch up with what you have been up to on your blogs and emails a little later today, Mountain Man wants to work on the wood this morning.
I’m back in the real world and I think its Monday.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
On Going Crazy:
Mountain Man is now down off the roof. The leak around the chimney is finally fixed. It should not rain or snow inside any longer.
We went to the home improvement center this morning. I got the plywood and a few of the other things I needed to build my play coffin. I had to compromise on a few things. But I think in the end I will still like the results.
I started the Crazy Quilt yesterday. I got out my multitude of embroidery thread and set to work. I also found some test pieces of embroidery I had done in years gone by and I will be using some of them for some for the patches in my quilt.
I started with a square of backing 14 X 14 inches (I like to have an inch around to work with on a project like this.) and started pinning pieces of fabric, folding in the edges as I went, to cover the backing. The finished pieces will be 12 X 12 inches.
After I got all the pieces to cover the backing. I started to embroider it together. You don’t have to have pieces with colors that go together. They can clash a bit because you are bordering it with other colors in the fancy stitching. Do try to have colors that don’t clash or blend in too much in the embroidery stitching and have fun just going wild.
Wherever two fabrics meet, stitch it down with fancy stitches. One color, two colors, three colors, four or more. Mix and match, use a color from the other side of your square by matching the thread colors, or go with new and different color combination all together.
I don’t use an embroidery hoop for this, but lots of people do. I free stitch and use my imagination, but you can use any stitches you choose. Just make sure that you stitch the fabric down enough to hold the seams. You use a lot of different stitches here and there, and/or add different kinds of stitches alone or in combinations. Criss cross, square, circle, or wavy stitches. Just go Crazy!
We went to the home improvement center this morning. I got the plywood and a few of the other things I needed to build my play coffin. I had to compromise on a few things. But I think in the end I will still like the results.
I started the Crazy Quilt yesterday. I got out my multitude of embroidery thread and set to work. I also found some test pieces of embroidery I had done in years gone by and I will be using some of them for some for the patches in my quilt.
I started with a square of backing 14 X 14 inches (I like to have an inch around to work with on a project like this.) and started pinning pieces of fabric, folding in the edges as I went, to cover the backing. The finished pieces will be 12 X 12 inches.
After I got all the pieces to cover the backing. I started to embroider it together. You don’t have to have pieces with colors that go together. They can clash a bit because you are bordering it with other colors in the fancy stitching. Do try to have colors that don’t clash or blend in too much in the embroidery stitching and have fun just going wild.
Wherever two fabrics meet, stitch it down with fancy stitches. One color, two colors, three colors, four or more. Mix and match, use a color from the other side of your square by matching the thread colors, or go with new and different color combination all together.
I don’t use an embroidery hoop for this, but lots of people do. I free stitch and use my imagination, but you can use any stitches you choose. Just make sure that you stitch the fabric down enough to hold the seams. You use a lot of different stitches here and there, and/or add different kinds of stitches alone or in combinations. Criss cross, square, circle, or wavy stitches. Just go Crazy!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
On Collecting the Pieces:
I am loving this pre autumn weather. I’ve been outside a lot lately. This morning it was cutting back the spent whips that the Husta flowers had grown on.
I do like the look of the spent whips, but they are growing along the front walk. And when it rains, as it is supposed to later on today, they just whip your legs into a soaking wet mess as you pass. For me Autumn is like the spring for most of the people out there. I come alive in the Autumn.
I have decided on what kind of patchwork quilt I’m going to make. It will be a Crazy Quilt.
For those of you who don’t know what a crazy quilt is, I’ll explain.
You take a whole lot of different, mostly darker colored, lush, rich fabrics (like velvets, satins and brocades)and cut them in odd angular shapes like the scraps you have after making an evening dress. You sew them down at all angles onto another piece of plain fabric and then, where the fancy fabrics over lap, you embroider colorful borders between the two.
You can also embroider little pictures of flowers, animals, or the like on the larger patches in the empty mid spaces.
Most of them were made in 9 X 9 inch to 12 X 12 inch squares and pieced together with more embroidery, then given a border and backed with a plain piece of fabric that was not meant to be seen. They were rarely ever stuffed. And were mostly used as throws for the piano or a chair.
Mostly they were a place to show off a woman’s embroidery skills and to have a bit of fun and whimsey on.
I rummaged through my stash of fabric and I have enough to get started and I should be able to make a few squares before I need to buy more. That will give me time to look around and find some second hand dresses that are past their prime (Okay, stained or torn beyond repair) and cheep at the thrift store. And I have more then enough embroidery thread to get me through this quilt and more.
It will be another slow going project, but I’ve been wanting to make myself one of these for years. I think it will look just wonderful on my coffin when it is done.
I do like the look of the spent whips, but they are growing along the front walk. And when it rains, as it is supposed to later on today, they just whip your legs into a soaking wet mess as you pass. For me Autumn is like the spring for most of the people out there. I come alive in the Autumn.
I have decided on what kind of patchwork quilt I’m going to make. It will be a Crazy Quilt.
For those of you who don’t know what a crazy quilt is, I’ll explain.
You take a whole lot of different, mostly darker colored, lush, rich fabrics (like velvets, satins and brocades)and cut them in odd angular shapes like the scraps you have after making an evening dress. You sew them down at all angles onto another piece of plain fabric and then, where the fancy fabrics over lap, you embroider colorful borders between the two.
You can also embroider little pictures of flowers, animals, or the like on the larger patches in the empty mid spaces.
Most of them were made in 9 X 9 inch to 12 X 12 inch squares and pieced together with more embroidery, then given a border and backed with a plain piece of fabric that was not meant to be seen. They were rarely ever stuffed. And were mostly used as throws for the piano or a chair.
Mostly they were a place to show off a woman’s embroidery skills and to have a bit of fun and whimsey on.
I rummaged through my stash of fabric and I have enough to get started and I should be able to make a few squares before I need to buy more. That will give me time to look around and find some second hand dresses that are past their prime (Okay, stained or torn beyond repair) and cheep at the thrift store. And I have more then enough embroidery thread to get me through this quilt and more.
It will be another slow going project, but I’ve been wanting to make myself one of these for years. I think it will look just wonderful on my coffin when it is done.
Monday, September 7, 2009
On Labor Day 2009 or Hoping for a Rainy Day:
It may be Labor day for most of you. Now you will be readying children for school, change your mind set from summer to autumn, (Or winter to spring for my friends in the southern hemisphere.) summer vacation to work.
But as for the Lady Deathwatch… She is making darker plans.
I spent the better part of the day drawing up plans for a coffin. Since I don’t want to have to do all that work just for one day ‘Halloween’ a year. I took the time to draw up something I can use year round. I have wanted one for a very long time.
I will be able to use it as a hope chest or a couch/day bed (With the one side in front removed) in the off season. (I do like to multi-task you see.)
I’m making it of plywood, covering it with fabric and painting it black. It will look better than it really is because I will also hide the inner wood with satin fabric and stuffing. It won’t be as good as some people can make because I don’t have those kinds of skills. But for me and my needs, it will be just fine and I can’t wait until it is finished.
Of course I still have to buy the parts, cut and build it, cover and paint it before I can add the hinges, handles and other parts that will make it look just right on the outside. Then there will be the bedding and scrunched satin lining to put together for the interior.
It will take time and care but I feel ready for a larger project just now. I hope to get it done by Halloween of course. But if I don’t, none of it will be lost on a Gothy woman like me.
I can’t wait to sleep on it’s comfy bedding, laid out in my finest Goth night dress. What a lucky Victorian Goth Lady am I.
For now, I’ll start on a nice quilt to dress it up. Mountain Man is still busy on the roof, you see. When he is done in a few days I’ll get the parts for my coffin. That is, unless it starts to rain first. Then I’ll be off shopping for parts.
But as for the Lady Deathwatch… She is making darker plans.
I spent the better part of the day drawing up plans for a coffin. Since I don’t want to have to do all that work just for one day ‘Halloween’ a year. I took the time to draw up something I can use year round. I have wanted one for a very long time.
I will be able to use it as a hope chest or a couch/day bed (With the one side in front removed) in the off season. (I do like to multi-task you see.)
I’m making it of plywood, covering it with fabric and painting it black. It will look better than it really is because I will also hide the inner wood with satin fabric and stuffing. It won’t be as good as some people can make because I don’t have those kinds of skills. But for me and my needs, it will be just fine and I can’t wait until it is finished.
Of course I still have to buy the parts, cut and build it, cover and paint it before I can add the hinges, handles and other parts that will make it look just right on the outside. Then there will be the bedding and scrunched satin lining to put together for the interior.
It will take time and care but I feel ready for a larger project just now. I hope to get it done by Halloween of course. But if I don’t, none of it will be lost on a Gothy woman like me.
I can’t wait to sleep on it’s comfy bedding, laid out in my finest Goth night dress. What a lucky Victorian Goth Lady am I.
For now, I’ll start on a nice quilt to dress it up. Mountain Man is still busy on the roof, you see. When he is done in a few days I’ll get the parts for my coffin. That is, unless it starts to rain first. Then I’ll be off shopping for parts.
Labels:
My Life,
Projects,
Wants And Desires Wish List:
Sunday, September 6, 2009
On Falling into Autumn:
I just love the Autumn. Those of you who know me, know that fact already.
Autumn had been tickling at my nose and singing soft and sweetly to my heart for a few days now. And yesterday it enveloped me in earnest.
I walked out the door to go to the vegetable garden, like all the other days there are crops, and check on what was available for the days food prep, and I got lost.
No, not in the physical. I knew right where I was… but my mind went elsewhere. I followed a bumble bee, and a butterfly, and a toad. I watched the light from the sun play in dappled puddles on the ground and bushes of the woods. I was thinking about the blog of Sooticus the other day, I think.
It was the light that drew me in. In the Autumn the trees and plants start to wilt and shrink back readying themselves for the color change. Space and air, light and views appear that had been hidden in the summer months.
Sooticus was finding ‘Urban Fairies.’ I went hunting in the woods for Fairies and their friends. Wood nymphs, Elves, Sprites, Ents, any or all of them would do. I peeked around trees. I crept along the ground looking for little foot prints or lost belongings, any evidence at all of their inhabitance in my woods.
And although I didn’t find anything I could hold onto or show to anyone else, I did get I glimpse into their world.
I had been looking for a while and I was getting a bit tired. I lay on my back looking up at the canopy of trees, not wanting to leave the woods just yet. I was watching the picture show of shapes made by the leaves in the breeze against the blue sky. And that is when it happened… A Fairy climbed into my hair to watch the show with me.
I didn’t move or even speak. I acted like it happened every day to me, but in reality it had been a while since it happened at all and a long time since it happened on a regular basis.
I waited and listened. They started to talk to one another, in that tinkilly way that little folk talk, talking with the bugs and birds chattering all around. I listened and marveled with all my might as I watched the show of leafy silhouette pictures playing over head.
And then they were gone. A hawk had flown over the trees.
I got up and shook the detritus and old leaf matter out of my hair. But I was left with a feeling of loss and loneliness that only having been with fairies and the like and having them steal away in an instant can bring. Having one moment been full of their company and trust, when they are gone, you feel the weight of the space they left behind. But at the same time you feel happyful from just having been so close to their world.
Autumn had been tickling at my nose and singing soft and sweetly to my heart for a few days now. And yesterday it enveloped me in earnest.
I walked out the door to go to the vegetable garden, like all the other days there are crops, and check on what was available for the days food prep, and I got lost.
No, not in the physical. I knew right where I was… but my mind went elsewhere. I followed a bumble bee, and a butterfly, and a toad. I watched the light from the sun play in dappled puddles on the ground and bushes of the woods. I was thinking about the blog of Sooticus the other day, I think.
It was the light that drew me in. In the Autumn the trees and plants start to wilt and shrink back readying themselves for the color change. Space and air, light and views appear that had been hidden in the summer months.
Sooticus was finding ‘Urban Fairies.’ I went hunting in the woods for Fairies and their friends. Wood nymphs, Elves, Sprites, Ents, any or all of them would do. I peeked around trees. I crept along the ground looking for little foot prints or lost belongings, any evidence at all of their inhabitance in my woods.
And although I didn’t find anything I could hold onto or show to anyone else, I did get I glimpse into their world.
I had been looking for a while and I was getting a bit tired. I lay on my back looking up at the canopy of trees, not wanting to leave the woods just yet. I was watching the picture show of shapes made by the leaves in the breeze against the blue sky. And that is when it happened… A Fairy climbed into my hair to watch the show with me.
I didn’t move or even speak. I acted like it happened every day to me, but in reality it had been a while since it happened at all and a long time since it happened on a regular basis.
I waited and listened. They started to talk to one another, in that tinkilly way that little folk talk, talking with the bugs and birds chattering all around. I listened and marveled with all my might as I watched the show of leafy silhouette pictures playing over head.
And then they were gone. A hawk had flown over the trees.
I got up and shook the detritus and old leaf matter out of my hair. But I was left with a feeling of loss and loneliness that only having been with fairies and the like and having them steal away in an instant can bring. Having one moment been full of their company and trust, when they are gone, you feel the weight of the space they left behind. But at the same time you feel happyful from just having been so close to their world.
Labels:
My Life,
Observations
Friday, September 4, 2009
On Lady Sweaters Knitting:
I have the pictures. Mountain Man was on the roof yesterday doing pre winter repairs and upgrades. It was the first time all summer we had enough days in a row of nice weather for him to get the job done.
Yes, that is me in my newly finished ‘February Lady Sweater.’ It took five tries all together. The first one was a size thing. (I had only done a third of it by the time I ripped it out. I have a larger boob thing going on then the pattern allowed, she had more stitches in the back.) The second was a matter of not enough purple yarn. (I add the variegated on the next go round.) The third was a mistake in the shoulders. The one arm was too big and the second arm was too small. The forth was that I had lost weight by the time I made it and it was too big to the point of falling off my shoulder. And now the fifth time out, it is finally done.
I love it in all its purpley goodness. I got a compliment at the grocery store this morning on its debut out in the real world. They even wanted to know where I got the pattern. www.flintknits.com By Pamela Wynne.
The color is not quite right in the pictures. It really is a little more to the red side of purple then the blue. It is made from just some bargain acrylic yarn I found and liked the colors.
I am back to making mittens along with other unfinished projects. It feels so nice to have my hands on some knitting that is not wedding related for a change. I’m not good with dead lines and all that. Now, I can knit at my own speed again. Knitting Heaven.
Thanks for all the well wishes these past few days I was sick.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
On Ups and Downs:
Life is like a roller coaster. The wedding had me up and after I came home I got sick and I was down. And now I’m coming up again, that is I‘m starting to feel better.
I did get a few things done while I was sick in bed. I finished making a the February Lady’s Sweater, that found I had to rework and set aside last spring. (Pictures tomorrow.)
I wrote a bad story. I did pencil book puzzles. But mostly I slept like the dead.
The house is a mess and the laundry pile is growing to a dangerous degree but somehow I don’t mind it, all because I’m feeling much better again.
Gotta’ go and do some dishes before they start to tempt mice into the house.
I did get a few things done while I was sick in bed. I finished making a the February Lady’s Sweater, that found I had to rework and set aside last spring. (Pictures tomorrow.)
I wrote a bad story. I did pencil book puzzles. But mostly I slept like the dead.
The house is a mess and the laundry pile is growing to a dangerous degree but somehow I don’t mind it, all because I’m feeling much better again.
Gotta’ go and do some dishes before they start to tempt mice into the house.
Friday, August 28, 2009
On Other Wedding Crafting:
There was a book I put together for them of envelopes and blank cards. It was for the guests to add their thoughts, advice, wishes or poems to the wedding couple.
The cover of their’s had a nice tree on it. The mock up page here has slightly different colors then the ones that went into making their book. Their colors were chocolate brown and sage green with tan, ivory and other greens as accents.
It was made on the idea of a scrap book. But this one has 8 X 8 inch pages, not the 12 X 12 inch pages of a scrap book. And some of the pages had only three envelopes on it because one of the envelopes was bigger (the size of two of the smaller ones.) for more wordy messages.
Each page had a slightly different combination of envelopes and cards, in placement, sizes or colors to mix it up. Their’s had only one color for the stickers because they had already found the color they had been looking for in a roll of one thousand. But that could easily be changed for the wedding couple involved if you are taking our idea and making it your own. We had more envelopes and card in it then guests because some people liked it so much they went back a few times. Email me if you want more instructions.
The book made a big hit because people could leave their thoughts without having others reading the cards as each writer sealed the envelope closed with a sticker when they were done.
The wedding couple felt like it was a book of hidden treasure. As they went through the sealed envelopes and found privet heart felt thoughts, memories, or treasured pictures of them drawn by the children attending.
The crafting of the table and place cards was done like this: Each table had a tree named plaque on it with a picture of the tree leaf. And the place cards had a cut out of that trees leaf glued on the corner. The head table was Maple. Ours was Sassafras. There were oak, elm, chestnut, linden, aspen, cottonwood, ginko, willow, beach, sycamore and others. (Friends of the newlyweds are marrying in the fall and are using apple names for their tables.)
The difference here was the groom had made laser cut out leaves with the name of the tree burned into it made out of wood. He stained the leaves a little darker and he made the wooden name place cards that the leaves were attached to in the same way for the persons name, along with the plaques for the tables with the tree names. They were lovely and unique. Even if they had paper place cards and leaves it would have been nice. But the wooden ones were just special.
I wish I could show you the place cards but I can’t without showing you names of people that I don’t have permission to show you here. But I do have a few of the extra leaves. They are no bigger then two inches across for the biggest one.
Answers to center piece questions: The confetti on the tables and center pieces, on yesterdays blog, were little paper leaves made by anyone who wanted to help and didn’t have much crafting skills. The wedding couple had bought leaf hole punches at various crafting stores and off the web for the job. And the slices of wood had to be kept damp and then oiled to keep them from splitting before the wedding.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
On The Wedding Day, Part 3:
When the wedding couple rejoined the guests under the tent there were canapes and the music was started. Small children and some adventurous adults danced.
The table center pieces turned out lovely (lavender and baby‘s breath so as not attract bugs and Mountain Man provided the tree slices), the wooden name place cards made a hit with everyone there (they were made by the groom), and no one was upset with the seating arrangements. Everyone had smiling faces, they were laughing and talking and generally having a good time. And outside of the tent a number of large dragon flies were putting on an impromptu air show.
The only draw back was the biting bugs, and a basket of various bug sprays was past around to each table to keep them at bay.
The dinner, Chicken, Fish or Vegetarian, was very good to the point that someone begged the recipes from the owner, and various people took the time to copy them down. (No, I didn’t get them as well, but my sister did.)
Glass’ were clinked and the best man and maid of honor made their toasts. The bridal couple kissed and the dancing started in full with the bride and groom’s first dance as a married couple.
The party went on in the tent and the air conditioned room where the groom set up a photo center where you could push a button and ten seconds later your picture would be taken for them. This attracted the children and people who had a sense of humor. Many funny pictures awaited the newly weds along with the more serious photos of the people that came to the wedding.
The wedding cake was a pine tree shaped stand of cupcakes because the wedding theme was trees/nature. Small jars of honey made right there at the retreat center were the favors.
The people with long drives started to leave around nine o’clock. I turned in at 11:30PM, when the party moved to the fire pit for a sing along and the rest of the guests that were housed at hotels left. I was told that the remaining people and the newlyweds went to bed at 2:00 in the morning.
The handkerchiefs I made for the bride and the women of the wedding party made a big hit, but somehow I didn’t get one picture of them. I was so busy I didn’t even take a picture of them before I left for the weekend. Silly of me I know. The women got tea dyed with a narrow bobbin lace and the bride got white with deep tatted lace.
The next day we all had fun cleaning up the grounds until noon. Then we packed the cars to the brim to get everything in. Good-byes were said and we left for our six hour trip back home.
The wedding couple left for their honeymoon the next day.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
On The Wedding Day, Part 2:
The sun came out and the guests were seated in the damp seats as they were sprinkled with rain drops from the trees over head. But this didn’t seem to dampen any of the spirits of those participating.
The parents and grandparents were given bouquets and boutonnieres then sent to their seats in the front rows. Hydrangeas and Calla Lilies were the flowers of the day.
There was a musical piece played and the groom with the brides uncle, who was the temporary official for the day, came up the isle and into place. The music changed and the wedding party alternating women and men came from the main building down the stairs and across the lawn, then up the main isle to the front on each side of the wedding arch.
The brides maids wore chocolate brown dresses with sage green shawls and the groom and his men wore brown slacks with tan jackets. The flower girl/ring barer wore a sage green dress and gave out calla lilies to the people on the isle seats as she went to the front.
The music changed again and I made the mistake of looking at the door of the building and I saw just the hem of the Daughter Princess’s bridal gown. I started to cry so hard I missed her walking over the lawn and up the isle.
I did get to see her arrive at the wedding arch and take the grooms hands. It was apparent to anyone with eyes and were there that they are truly in love. It over flowed and dripped from them like the rain dripping from the trees over head.
There was a reading done by the bride’s father of a poem asking the blessings from all of nature on the wedding. The wedding couple wrote their own vows, they were lovely and punctuated with just the right amount of humor.
(At one point a neighbor started his shooting practice and many jokes went around the seated guests about a shotgun wedding, which this was not one of, but was funny just the same, even to the wedding party.)
The flower girl brought over the rings which were exchanged. They kissed and it was announced that they were now ‘husband and wife.’
The bride and groom went to the back of the seats to the edge of the lawn and planted a bush and the wedding party followed down the isle when they were done.
While we were moving over to a close hillside to have a group picture the chairs were moved to the tables under the tent. And as the rest of picture taking was underway the guests circulated in the tent, and played lawn games. While the picture taking continued a rainbow graced the sky behind the wedding couple. The hem of her gown was also graced by a dragon fly during the pictures.
Picture of wedding arch from the side before the flowers and ribbons were put on it.
The parents and grandparents were given bouquets and boutonnieres then sent to their seats in the front rows. Hydrangeas and Calla Lilies were the flowers of the day.
There was a musical piece played and the groom with the brides uncle, who was the temporary official for the day, came up the isle and into place. The music changed and the wedding party alternating women and men came from the main building down the stairs and across the lawn, then up the main isle to the front on each side of the wedding arch.
The brides maids wore chocolate brown dresses with sage green shawls and the groom and his men wore brown slacks with tan jackets. The flower girl/ring barer wore a sage green dress and gave out calla lilies to the people on the isle seats as she went to the front.
The music changed again and I made the mistake of looking at the door of the building and I saw just the hem of the Daughter Princess’s bridal gown. I started to cry so hard I missed her walking over the lawn and up the isle.
I did get to see her arrive at the wedding arch and take the grooms hands. It was apparent to anyone with eyes and were there that they are truly in love. It over flowed and dripped from them like the rain dripping from the trees over head.
There was a reading done by the bride’s father of a poem asking the blessings from all of nature on the wedding. The wedding couple wrote their own vows, they were lovely and punctuated with just the right amount of humor.
(At one point a neighbor started his shooting practice and many jokes went around the seated guests about a shotgun wedding, which this was not one of, but was funny just the same, even to the wedding party.)
The flower girl brought over the rings which were exchanged. They kissed and it was announced that they were now ‘husband and wife.’
The bride and groom went to the back of the seats to the edge of the lawn and planted a bush and the wedding party followed down the isle when they were done.
While we were moving over to a close hillside to have a group picture the chairs were moved to the tables under the tent. And as the rest of picture taking was underway the guests circulated in the tent, and played lawn games. While the picture taking continued a rainbow graced the sky behind the wedding couple. The hem of her gown was also graced by a dragon fly during the pictures.
Picture of wedding arch from the side before the flowers and ribbons were put on it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
On The Wedding Day, Part 1:
The wedding couple wanted an outdoor wedding including the planting of a bush. The wedding was set to start at 4:00 PM on the lawn by the wedding arch.
The wedding day dawned with a hot muggy rain. Intermittent as it was, we didn’t go for more than twenty minutes before it would start to rain again. The weather report kept on changing by the hour, but each time I checked the percentages for rain in the afternoon it kept on going up.
Each time the rain stopped for a few minutes some of the guests and workers dashed out to set up the chairs out on the lawn for the ceremony, set up the tables under the reception tent, or dig the hole for the planting which was then covered so it didn’t fill with water.
After everything was set up they would go out to tip the chairs to get the bowl of the seats emptied so that they might dry by the ceremony, each time the rain would stop.
At one point in the early part of the morning I had a melt down upsetting the bride. I have to tell you that I really did try not to go there. And I was taken to the wood shed by more then a few people. (To any of the people involved who read this and thought you were helping, you made things worse. My daughter and I talked, made up and were okay. I on the other hand, almost didn‘t make it to the wedding for your interfering.)
There was also a morning brunch that was punctuated with the arrival of the guests that didn’t stay at the retreat center. The wedding party went off to get their hair done. The flowers were made into the bouquets and off to the places that they were decorating.
All this time I was sewing my top for the wedding. I did this by hand not having my sewing machine with me. I had been busy crafting up to this time and was still hoping that it would be cool enough to wear the sweater I had made and was planning to wear. It was just too hot and sticky of a day to wear it and not faint away.
Fortunately the last rain shower came at about 3:30. There was just enough time to tip the water out of the chairs once more before the guests were to take their seats.
I got done making my top with just enough time to do my makeup and be ready to go out to my seat with the others. I didn’t get to do my hair up and grabbed a hat, hiding that fact. I missed my daughter getting ready and being in that part of the wedding prep and pictures.
The wedding day dawned with a hot muggy rain. Intermittent as it was, we didn’t go for more than twenty minutes before it would start to rain again. The weather report kept on changing by the hour, but each time I checked the percentages for rain in the afternoon it kept on going up.
Each time the rain stopped for a few minutes some of the guests and workers dashed out to set up the chairs out on the lawn for the ceremony, set up the tables under the reception tent, or dig the hole for the planting which was then covered so it didn’t fill with water.
After everything was set up they would go out to tip the chairs to get the bowl of the seats emptied so that they might dry by the ceremony, each time the rain would stop.
At one point in the early part of the morning I had a melt down upsetting the bride. I have to tell you that I really did try not to go there. And I was taken to the wood shed by more then a few people. (To any of the people involved who read this and thought you were helping, you made things worse. My daughter and I talked, made up and were okay. I on the other hand, almost didn‘t make it to the wedding for your interfering.)
There was also a morning brunch that was punctuated with the arrival of the guests that didn’t stay at the retreat center. The wedding party went off to get their hair done. The flowers were made into the bouquets and off to the places that they were decorating.
All this time I was sewing my top for the wedding. I did this by hand not having my sewing machine with me. I had been busy crafting up to this time and was still hoping that it would be cool enough to wear the sweater I had made and was planning to wear. It was just too hot and sticky of a day to wear it and not faint away.
Fortunately the last rain shower came at about 3:30. There was just enough time to tip the water out of the chairs once more before the guests were to take their seats.
I got done making my top with just enough time to do my makeup and be ready to go out to my seat with the others. I didn’t get to do my hair up and grabbed a hat, hiding that fact. I missed my daughter getting ready and being in that part of the wedding prep and pictures.
Monday, August 24, 2009
On The Wedding Preparations:
Well, in the crafts department, we cut out, tore jagged, hole punched, white glued, hot glued and folded. We cut ribbon, strung ribbon, knotted ribbon, bowed ribbon. Miles and miles and miles of ribbon. We labeled, we collated, we traded jobs, assembly lined and talked. Everyone who wanted to found something to do to help out in one way or another.
There were store runs, ice runs, beer and wine runs. Hair and nail appointments. Naps for little ones and a few of the older folks too. Almost everyone that showed up offered to help out or just happened to have what was needed or forgotten on hand.
Food arrived, flowers arrived, lots and lots of people arrived. All needing to be directed to their places, mixed together and turned out right. All hands that could were engaged to make it work out and come together in time. All as introductions were made all around time and time again.
The place they had chosen to have the wedding was a retreat center and also a youth hostel. It was all fairly primitive, so there wasn't a lot of comforts to be had.
The weather was very hot and humid the entire time, with only one room in the hole place having any air conditioning. Even the envelopes for the cards stuck together before they could be used. Everyone dripped and glistened, they showered more then once a day with little or no relief and still we were all just happy to be there. Every fan that could be found or placed by an electrical outlet was employed to keep everyone as cool as possible.
Everyone did their best to make it come out right for the happy couple with the least amount of trouble for them. Not everything went according to plan, but nothing ever really does. Still, we all worked hard so that they could have the best day everyone there could make happen.
Food was shared, music was shared, conversation and friendship and space in the only cool room or the only room where food was allowed or the space for the crafting was shared.
The weather was changeable. The rain came down then the sun came out, followed by thunder and lightening splitting the sky. All will amazing frequency. Still the lights only blinked, but never went out for more then a second or two.
Everyone did their level best to get it all done and be as pleasant as possible for the good of all. And I have to say, I only had one melt down, despite having been stripped of all my comfort zones the entire time. What couldn’t be fixed was rigged to work and or covered over to make the best of.
In the end everything that needed to get done to pull it all off and all was done by the time it was needed to be. Everyone I talked to was having a good time or said they were and there were never a lack of smiling faces in every direction.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the wedding.
Well, in the crafts department, we cut out, tore jagged, hole punched, white glued, hot glued and folded. We cut ribbon, strung ribbon, knotted ribbon, bowed ribbon. Miles and miles and miles of ribbon. We labeled, we collated, we traded jobs, assembly lined and talked. Everyone who wanted to found something to do to help out in one way or another.
There were store runs, ice runs, beer and wine runs. Hair and nail appointments. Naps for little ones and a few of the older folks too. Almost everyone that showed up offered to help out or just happened to have what was needed or forgotten on hand.
Food arrived, flowers arrived, lots and lots of people arrived. All needing to be directed to their places, mixed together and turned out right. All hands that could were engaged to make it work out and come together in time. All as introductions were made all around time and time again.
The place they had chosen to have the wedding was a retreat center and also a youth hostel. It was all fairly primitive, so there wasn't a lot of comforts to be had.
The weather was very hot and humid the entire time, with only one room in the hole place having any air conditioning. Even the envelopes for the cards stuck together before they could be used. Everyone dripped and glistened, they showered more then once a day with little or no relief and still we were all just happy to be there. Every fan that could be found or placed by an electrical outlet was employed to keep everyone as cool as possible.
Everyone did their best to make it come out right for the happy couple with the least amount of trouble for them. Not everything went according to plan, but nothing ever really does. Still, we all worked hard so that they could have the best day everyone there could make happen.
Food was shared, music was shared, conversation and friendship and space in the only cool room or the only room where food was allowed or the space for the crafting was shared.
The weather was changeable. The rain came down then the sun came out, followed by thunder and lightening splitting the sky. All will amazing frequency. Still the lights only blinked, but never went out for more then a second or two.
Everyone did their level best to get it all done and be as pleasant as possible for the good of all. And I have to say, I only had one melt down, despite having been stripped of all my comfort zones the entire time. What couldn’t be fixed was rigged to work and or covered over to make the best of.
In the end everything that needed to get done to pull it all off and all was done by the time it was needed to be. Everyone I talked to was having a good time or said they were and there were never a lack of smiling faces in every direction.
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the wedding.
Friday, August 21, 2009
On Wedding Prep:
The bride is off getting her nails done. The groom, Prince Charming, is… Well I don’t know where he is at the moment. My mother is changing her purse to match her clothing today and I’m sitting here cooling down after yoga and breakfast.
When the bride, the Princess Daughter, gets back there are still many things of crafting and decorating to be done before the rehearsal dinner/Barbeque this evening. The one table in the dinning room is still full of stuff from last night. We were working on three tables yesterday until the late hours.
Things have been going well for the most part so far. (Keep out you manic gods.)
The groom just came in so crafting is about to resume.
More later if I find the time.
By the way, Thanks for all the well wishes. The bridal party says thank you too.
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Pictures from my life:
On Traveling:
I don’t travel well. Or maybe I do, but only in first class. Our car is not first class. It does not have air conditioning or a window on the passenger side that works.
We started out only 20 minutes later then we wanted to, so all things considered, we were doing pretty good as a whole. (Two of our party don’t often get out the door on time.)
We were bright eyed and bushy tailed. Looking forward to arriving at our destination by Noon, or about six hours after our departure. All this despite the early hour and everything looking up.
The fog was thick as pea soup as we motored on down the road. It slowed us only a bit. We soldered onward knowing that the fog would lift as the sun rose in the sky. And lift it did. Bright sun shine filled the sky and the car with warmth. We opened the windows that still worked. But, down the road the fog returned. Then bright…then fog…then bright…then…you get the picture. All this for the first few hours until it melted into a very hot and very humid day.
Pit stops, gas stops, food stops, rest stops. We made our way over bridges and roadways onward towards our destination. Ten miles, twenty miles, one hundred miles then two and even more went by. Maps checked… well no they where left at home, but thankfully the directions printed off the web were well in hand. One state, two states, three states were behind us.
We finally tired and sweaty reached the state of Massachusetts, Pennsylvania far behind. We were within the last hundred miles of our goal. Sticky weary spirits rose. Almost there, the last leg of the journey, most of the road construction, time and miles behind us, the on ramp to the last section of our jaunt firmly under our tires… and the traffic stops.
We sat in that hot car in the sun, with no air conditioning, and only windows that would go half way down for over an hour while they cleared an accident from the roadway some five miles from our current spot.
We arrived, not happy and contented, at the retreat center. Nor were we ready to jump right into the fray of crafting and decoration that awaited. We showered and ate, rested up a bit and finally managed to revive ourselves somewhat.
I am going to tell myself that the rest of the weekend is bound to go much better. What else could happen? Right?
Gods of mayhem and trickery, you can look the other way now. There is no more fun to be had here. This wedding is going to go off without a hitch because Lady Euphoria Deathwatch says so.
We started out only 20 minutes later then we wanted to, so all things considered, we were doing pretty good as a whole. (Two of our party don’t often get out the door on time.)
We were bright eyed and bushy tailed. Looking forward to arriving at our destination by Noon, or about six hours after our departure. All this despite the early hour and everything looking up.
The fog was thick as pea soup as we motored on down the road. It slowed us only a bit. We soldered onward knowing that the fog would lift as the sun rose in the sky. And lift it did. Bright sun shine filled the sky and the car with warmth. We opened the windows that still worked. But, down the road the fog returned. Then bright…then fog…then bright…then…you get the picture. All this for the first few hours until it melted into a very hot and very humid day.
Pit stops, gas stops, food stops, rest stops. We made our way over bridges and roadways onward towards our destination. Ten miles, twenty miles, one hundred miles then two and even more went by. Maps checked… well no they where left at home, but thankfully the directions printed off the web were well in hand. One state, two states, three states were behind us.
We finally tired and sweaty reached the state of Massachusetts, Pennsylvania far behind. We were within the last hundred miles of our goal. Sticky weary spirits rose. Almost there, the last leg of the journey, most of the road construction, time and miles behind us, the on ramp to the last section of our jaunt firmly under our tires… and the traffic stops.
We sat in that hot car in the sun, with no air conditioning, and only windows that would go half way down for over an hour while they cleared an accident from the roadway some five miles from our current spot.
We arrived, not happy and contented, at the retreat center. Nor were we ready to jump right into the fray of crafting and decoration that awaited. We showered and ate, rested up a bit and finally managed to revive ourselves somewhat.
I am going to tell myself that the rest of the weekend is bound to go much better. What else could happen? Right?
Gods of mayhem and trickery, you can look the other way now. There is no more fun to be had here. This wedding is going to go off without a hitch because Lady Euphoria Deathwatch says so.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
On Almost Ready for the Trip:
Well I managed to find a few moments to post. We leave early tomorrow and the car is packed. I got everything done that I wanted to except for making the top and I’m working on that now.
We are going to bed early tonight and will be up before the sun. I’m hoping to be at the retreat center where the wedding will take place by noon.
I am still not ready to let go completely and in all reality I don’t have to. She will just be a phone call away, like she has for the last six or so years. We will visit like we have in the past. But as we all know once a person is married, it is just different. Not bad or wrong just different.
The partner/spouse is now in line ahead of mom and pop and this is as it should be.
I like and love Prince Charming and he is a good thing for the Daughter Princess. And the reverse is also true. A good match I think.
I thought I would just take it all in, enjoy the day and move on. She has not lived under my roof for about fifteen years.
Maybe it is the loss of my son that makes me have a need to hold on tighter then I thought I was. I don’t know. But this is not as easy as I felt it would be. A piece of me wants to just put her in my pocket and keep her safe from what life will bring her way.
I’m being silly, I know. She has been a grown up for a while, she can take care of herself. On Saturday it will happen no matter how I feel, so I will be happy and loving and tearful. My baby is moving on without me put she has a good man at her side. It will all be good.
I’ll post when and if I can over the next few days.
We are going to bed early tonight and will be up before the sun. I’m hoping to be at the retreat center where the wedding will take place by noon.
I am still not ready to let go completely and in all reality I don’t have to. She will just be a phone call away, like she has for the last six or so years. We will visit like we have in the past. But as we all know once a person is married, it is just different. Not bad or wrong just different.
The partner/spouse is now in line ahead of mom and pop and this is as it should be.
I like and love Prince Charming and he is a good thing for the Daughter Princess. And the reverse is also true. A good match I think.
I thought I would just take it all in, enjoy the day and move on. She has not lived under my roof for about fifteen years.
Maybe it is the loss of my son that makes me have a need to hold on tighter then I thought I was. I don’t know. But this is not as easy as I felt it would be. A piece of me wants to just put her in my pocket and keep her safe from what life will bring her way.
I’m being silly, I know. She has been a grown up for a while, she can take care of herself. On Saturday it will happen no matter how I feel, so I will be happy and loving and tearful. My baby is moving on without me put she has a good man at her side. It will all be good.
I’ll post when and if I can over the next few days.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
On I Can‘t Find the Right Pair of Scissors:
My mother is going to arrive any minute here at Lady Euphoria’s Manor House on the mountain top. If you could call a small six and half room, one floor home, with no attic or basement or even a real porch a Manor house.
The floors are still wet from washing them in this hot and humid weather and they are dotted with rags like stepping stones so no one slips.
I have toilet bowl cleaner still in the bowl doing it’s thing, dishes drying themselves on the drain board, 27 rows to knit on a sweater for the wedding weekend, not to mention putting the pieces together, a hem to put in a pair of slacks, and a honey colored top to make for the wedding itself all before I leave very early on Thursday morning.
I have beds to re-sheet and the house hold laundry hanging on the cloths line (The wind today is thankfully moving the other way, thanks for asking.) We have last minute shopping for food stuff for the four days we will be there and the wedding itself is not taking place. (Me for my allergies and my mom for her health concerns. Easier then having the whole weekend menu changed for us.)
My finger nails look really bad and they need a good going over. I still have to practice putting on normal makeup one or maybe two more times. (I haven’t worn makeup unless it is gothy for the last umpteen years. And doing the normal thing still looks and feels just plain wrong when I do it.) Wedding pictures you know.
Last minute ironing and the car to pack with the center piece’s parts, baskets for ‘lost and found’ and things and one for the flower girl‘s peddles, lawn games for afternoon entertainment and wedding photo probs, food, clothing and the crafting stuff for putting the rest of the decorations together.
Will I ever be ready to leave for the wedding?
The answer my friends is, ‘no.’ Not because I didn’t get everything done in time, but because this is my last child and my baby. I’ve surprised myself by feeling so attached after so many years of her being on her own. Time to cut that last apron string and I don’t want to do it just yet.
This is going to take some extra large scissors and maybe blood letting on my part I think. And I'm still smiling.
The floors are still wet from washing them in this hot and humid weather and they are dotted with rags like stepping stones so no one slips.
I have toilet bowl cleaner still in the bowl doing it’s thing, dishes drying themselves on the drain board, 27 rows to knit on a sweater for the wedding weekend, not to mention putting the pieces together, a hem to put in a pair of slacks, and a honey colored top to make for the wedding itself all before I leave very early on Thursday morning.
I have beds to re-sheet and the house hold laundry hanging on the cloths line (The wind today is thankfully moving the other way, thanks for asking.) We have last minute shopping for food stuff for the four days we will be there and the wedding itself is not taking place. (Me for my allergies and my mom for her health concerns. Easier then having the whole weekend menu changed for us.)
My finger nails look really bad and they need a good going over. I still have to practice putting on normal makeup one or maybe two more times. (I haven’t worn makeup unless it is gothy for the last umpteen years. And doing the normal thing still looks and feels just plain wrong when I do it.) Wedding pictures you know.
Last minute ironing and the car to pack with the center piece’s parts, baskets for ‘lost and found’ and things and one for the flower girl‘s peddles, lawn games for afternoon entertainment and wedding photo probs, food, clothing and the crafting stuff for putting the rest of the decorations together.
Will I ever be ready to leave for the wedding?
The answer my friends is, ‘no.’ Not because I didn’t get everything done in time, but because this is my last child and my baby. I’ve surprised myself by feeling so attached after so many years of her being on her own. Time to cut that last apron string and I don’t want to do it just yet.
This is going to take some extra large scissors and maybe blood letting on my part I think. And I'm still smiling.
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