Everyone in the town of Burpbottoms was excited as the festivities got underway. All the Fire Fighters were on call and ready to act at a moments notice. This was going to be the most explosive event of the year.
Identify a Fart Day was in full swing. Many people had sour looks on their faces but that was because of indigestion not from the smell. People all over town had been eating in excess from their favorite farty foods categories.
The smells of egg salad, cabbage, sausages, and beans filled the air. There were Diary farts, onion and Limburger cheese. Sauerkraut, and Broccoli rent the air. Beer, chilly and creamed corn, were added last year along with baby diaper so all age groups could join in the fun.
On the town square were the contests for loudness, longest and highest methane content. Do to the large amount of unidentifiable odors last year here was a new category of Industrial odors added.
New music was composed by Toot Tunes and played by a chorus of flatulent players. Kennels were set up for the dog fart contestants.
The effervescent mayor Mr. Ripp started the flatulent fun with the time honored words of, “Release the Barking Spiders!” and a mighty roar from the crowd was issued forth in return.
The day turned very windy around the stalls. S. B. Deadly won the Golden
Whoopee Cushion for ‘most gaseousness.’ Miss Reek won a years supply of antacids.
The day was ended earlier then expected. When shortly after dark the blow torch fart contestants started lighting their farts on fire to see how large an explosion they could make. The last contestant set the neighboring stall of up in flames and it went up like a meth lab. The firefighters on scene got it under control in quick time and no one was injured. But the crowd had enough of a long day and went home to rest their scorched noses and re-grow their nose hairs.
This idea was from a sibling of mine and I thank her for her addition to my blog. Next month on the thirteenth is ‘National Wart Observation Day.’