Wednesday, April 22, 2009

On Packing and Thinking:

I woke this morning with thousands of things on my mind. Did I remember to pack enough socks? What will the weather be like? Should I pack only comfortable shoes? Will my allergies get in the way? How will I get along with my daughter’s pets?

Once upon a time I was a grab and go person. If I didn’t have it, I did without or made do. Now I want my kitchen sink. Comfort zones.

I am bringing some of my own foods. And I have a bag packed of just my Lady Euphoria garb for the cemetery. But my gothiness makes my daughter and her fiancĂ© uncomfortable and I’m not into making other people uncomfortable in their own homes. So, I have packed more then I would have because in that I still have a split personality. Two sets of clothing. One for a world that is less excepting and one for me.

Don’t get me wrong. My daughter would let me do my thing and not bat an eyelash. But I also know that she has a secret wish that I fit in her world better. I know this because I had the same secret wish about my own mother when I was younger. I also grew up with a mother of a different, more out there, style. Not bad, just not my style.

I love my daughter and her style is just fine. She is a lovely woman and a good friend. She has her own life with her own style. She likes minimal, rustic, nature tones in her home. She wears earth tones and comfortable clothing. She runs, bikes and does yoga. She likes camping and sports, reading and her pets. She is a nurse and care taker. She will make a very good mother someday.

Who in there right mind would want to make good people feel funny about who you are? And remember, that I was a semi closet goth when she was a child and grew up with me. This is fairly new to her because I only came out in full after my cancer. The mother she grew up with was always trying to find a way to fit in so her kids weren’t made fun of in school because of a strange mother.

I’m still finding my way with the family about this gothy me. I only wish that more people in general, took the time to understand each other more often. Then goth would be an okay thing to be in all places every day.

Well, I gotta’ go. I just remembered I didn’t fill my vitamin and med days of the week containers yet. And what about my reading material and…


Mouse said...

I've always joked that there are about 4 different 'people' living in my closet at any one time. I'm not entirely sure that anyone would even call me 'goth' at this point b/c of the way I dress.. though for about 10 years of my life it was blatantly obvious. I would guess that my style is more 'bohemian' on a daily basis nowadays with a bit of steampunk thrown in for good measure. Summer in GA is very hard on a goth!


I don't have any children to embarrass. Probably a good. I used to appear in "normal camouflage" in public, but as I am getting older, I worry much less about fitting in. Screw 'em.

Judith said...

Wow, there are so many kids today who would love having a Goth mom! Isn't it funny how that works out? Big hugs and have a good trip!