Tuesday, January 6, 2009

On Writing, Wellness and the Kindness of Others:

When I first started having a blog of my own, back in May, I was not in the place I am now. I was still shaking off a long dark period in my life. Although I had loving wonderful people in my life there was a part of me that was not getting the interaction I needed.

My writing was being ignored. Those that did read what I had to say didn’t have the need or desire to provide feedback. Fact or fiction it didn’t matter. They didn’t understand my passion for the written word. Eyes would roll upward. They had better things to do with their time.

So I came here to blogland. I belched words in an angry frustrated way. With a bleeding of gothiness added on top because that was yet another thing that they didn’t understand about me I burst fourth. But once the first bursting fourth was over I had days and days to fill and I dug deeper into what it was that made me content. I crafted and knitted my way through the free time of my days and I wrote.

To make my writing better here in blogland I joined a writers workshop. And there I found the a hidden talent (something I had avoided up until that time) to write horror. Not the blood and guts stuff but the ghosts and goblins sort. And a new dance with death was learned by me. There are now a stack of short stories in my file drawer all lovingly crafted by Lady Euphoria Deathwatch. Me, the one person that would never watch a horror film or read one of those books for years.

They flew out of me in a flurry of gothy fun. Family members wanted to know if I was possessed. They prayed for me. And I had never slept a better sleep at night. It was like once expelled from my mind to the page they no longer haunted my nights and dreams. My night terrors were gone. Not one more night did I jump up screaming, drenched with sweat, heart pounding.

All those years of bad sleeping with the ‘don’t think about it and it will stop bothering you’ philosophy that didn’t work for me was gone. And a new more caring, loving, kind person was able to emerge from those sleep filled nights. Not that I wasn’t any of those things before I was, but there was more of it now. And I was happier too.

I needed an outlet for this extra goodness energy and Kevin’s Mittens Charity was born. And I just have to thank you. Your feedback and caring was a integral part of the whole. And I can’t thank you enough. Many of you have helped in a variety of ways. But Little Black Crow and Knotty Mouse have at this point helped the most. I thank the Gods of blogland that we found each other in the sheer masses of people out there. You knew that Goth is beautiful and nothing to be scared of and helped in my rebirth. I am eternally grateful to all of you.

Sincerely, Lady Euphoria


Mouse said...

You are very welcome!

Judith said...

I'm glad you're with us in blogland. I don't get to read your stuff every day, but I like it when I do read it. You have talent, girl!