Thursday, January 8, 2009

On Deaths Dance with a Friend:

Most of you know that I meet with a cancer group. We are a mixed group and meet twice a month. When I say mixed group I mean, we are all ages sexes and types of cancers.

I have also talked before about my friend Lady Pink. I call her that because she is never without something pink on her person. She is a breast cancer survivor and this is her second time around with the beast.

Like Patrick Swazi she has been fighting her cancer in personally powerful ways. Lady Pink has been powering through for some time. As the cancer spread she fights on with a smile on her face. Lady Pink is a very lovely woman.

We watched as Death came courting, time and again. Now that the dance is getting intimate, and thou we love her dearly, there is the feeling of wanting to turn away. It is a hard line to cross. We want to be supportive, loving, caring as she bravely fights on, but feel like we are intruding on something very personal.

We have danced this dance ourselves at moments, this group of cancer survivors and know the need for support. But as more of her body fails under the strain of her cancer it is getting harder. No sane person likes to watch the slow destruction of a friend.

It is the helplessness I think. Wanting so much to fix the problem but being helpless to change a thing. Watching the changes as the slow progression takes it’s toll. We are not ready to break the bond of friendship with such a beautiful soul. We take turns going to visit and wait.

Today is my turn to go and see her. I will no doubt be surprised to see the changes in her. I see Lady Pink’s smiling face daily on my TV in a local breast cancer screening commercial. This is hard on me even with my fascination with Death. This is a time where only prayer will help. It is beyond me and I feel helpless.


spyderkl said...

I don't know if prayer helps or not. But I do know that being there for your friend will help both of you - it'll help her today, and no matter what happens, the memories will help you tomorrow.

Sending all our love and best wishes.

CD said...

They said prayers can do everything, but when I loss 5 members of my family, I was wondering if there really is God. My mother had breast cancer, my sister died of cervical cancer, my brother died of prostate cancer, my Uncle was diagnosed of prostate cancer too and now 2 of my dear friends are figthing the BIG C. one of them is just in her mid 30's and have a daughter...It's really frigthening especially with our family medical history. I think showing them how much you care and love them would mean a lot..unfortunately there's not a lot we can do to lessen the pain...