Saturday, December 13, 2008

On Silly Holiday Dec. the Thirteenth:

Fluffville streets were crowded as the annual Belly Button Lint Festival got underway. Most people were happily visiting the lint museum to see the worlds oldest belly lint or looking over the recycled lint clothing for sale.

Fatty Rotundmen had organized a demonstration because he felt that those folks with outties didn’t get free lint of their own and had to buy all the lint that they used. And Mary Swimmer joined in the rally. She felt the festival was sexist because women didn’t have belly hair to catch more lint like the men did.

To tell the truth most folks just ignored them but the police set up saw horse barriers and caution tape just in case there was a confrontation.

Sally Spinner had the largest ball of ‘Husband Belly Lint’ but that was to be expected as Sam had the hairiest belly anyone in town had ever seen.

Children were having contests in the preschool lint box to see who could build the largest lint bunny.

There were lint artists selling their lint creations in tents in the park.

There was also a diet with pocket lint recipes being offered at the gym but most people were lint snobs and stayed away from it preferring belly button lint to anything else.

Mayor Lynt Morefuzz had a speech all ready. He was wearing his famous coat of many colored lint and a mouse gray lint top hat. But the people never gathered in front of the stage in the school gymnasium to hear him. Which was a shame because he looked so dapper. He even had little lint balls at the tips of his moustache that danced as he pontificated on the loveliness of lint.

The day ended with the lint parade down main street with excess lint from the fabric factory falling like snow from the windows of the buildings above settling on the people down below. Extra lint never goes astray in Fluffville. And the mayor got to ride in and wave from the lint covered car so he was happy once again.

Next year there is going to be group of lint spinners coming from out of town. Won’t that be fun.


BlackCrow said...

Is this for real??
This festival exists??
Its funny but only last week a man in Australia did sell his collection of belly button fluff to a museum in America.
He now is starting his collection again.
I'm kinda relieved there where no photo's the images in my head are haunting enough...thank you :)

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

Hi Black Crow,

No, it's not a real town. I made this one up but not before hearing about such things. I was reminded about it while watching a cartoon character that mentioned wanting such a holiday a few weeks back.

I'm glad you think my writing is good enough to be the real thing though.

I have fun thinking up silly holidays for the thirteenth of each month and trying to make them funny enough to post.

Not everyone's cup of tea to be sure, but I don't expect that everyone will be interested in every word I utter.

Thank you for the information and comment.

Sincerely, Lady Euphoria