While I was staring at my breakfast cereal this morning, pondering the world and my small part in it. And I realized once again that I am different. I want to play well with others, but when the time comes I don’t.
This does not come from a mean or angry place. I don’t want others to fail or be hurt. I really don’t care who wins. I just don’t like taking turns.
No, that isn’t right either. What I don’t like is waiting for the other person or persons to get on with it. ‘Roll the dice already and stop playing with your chair.’ ‘Stop testing the wind before your shot or pitch.’ ‘Why does it take so long to find the right ball, bat, racket, club…?’
It is a time wasting thing, I think.
Not that I feel I’m more important then anyone else. Not that I don’t feel they have every right to dilly dally. I’m just a ‘gotta be doing something’ person, even when not moving.
While bird watching, and I did this for years. I was watching the play of shadows and light on the ground, writing stories in my head, making lists of things to do, and figuring out how to construct a new pattern for some craft. All at the same time, never missing a twitter, hop or wing beat.
I was a born multi-tasker. My mother always said I should be a scientist with the way I could think about so many things at one time and keep them all straight.
And although this is no longer true for me. (I can no longer do more then two things at once.) I still, and maybe even more so, hate when other people waist my time.
I think that is why I like the Wii games so much. With a click of the button my opponent does not disappear, but all the extra run time is cut away. They take their turn without wasting time. The real main reason I didn’t do well with organized sports has been eliminated. I’m having fun, great fun, playing tennis and golf and bowling and baseball. I’m running races and laughing about it. No ones feeling are hurt by my button pushing deletions of their commentary on their game. I may even learn to be a better sport some day.