Sunday, July 4, 2010

On Having Holiday Plans:

I made a few small plans for this Independence Day. I don’t go in for too much on the Fourth of July. It was the last time I really talked with my son before he died on the sixth. Bitter sweet time now for me.

But it’s been eleven years. I need to move on more than I had been about that day. I don’t do the fireworks. Haven’t for a very long time. Crowds and biting bugs you know.

We’ll did a picnic lunch and hung the flag out. I think maybe some sparklers in the evening. Catch some fireflies and call it a day. A good quiet way to celebrate.

The kids in town can shoot off fire crackers and enjoy the fireworks display. I’ll remember watching as a child. Dates on the fourth while in high school. Bring my own kids to the festivities. (My daughter was a bi-centennial baby and slept through the whole thing.)

I’ll be quiet and let it float on passed this year. Just get my toes wet so to speak.

Better then the years of crying or hiding in my room. It won’t bring him back, but it might make for some nice memories for the future.

Here’s to a good future for everyone around the world.

1 comment:

rabbitIng said...

It's good that you are able to find the strength to move on. It is very hard - partly, I think, because it seems disloyal. But those we have loved and who loved us, but are now only present in our memories, would be saddened if they knew we continued to be unhappy for so long. When my first husband died (many years after our divorce, but we were still close in a familial way) I knew from what he himself said to me before his death that the only memorial he wished for was for us to enjoy life in the way that he had, when he no longer could. I try to live up to that - most days I succeed only partially, but I still keep trying anew each day. Many good wishes on what I know is a difficult day for you from one who has also known sorrow.