Thursday, July 3, 2008

On Other Things:

I know I don’t talk about my daughter too much. Not that I don’t like to. I just know she doesn’t want me too. She has her own life and expresses herself well in her own way. I am proud of her accomplishments and goals in life. She does not need me to speak for her.

I do wish she lived closer. But she likes the big city mouse life and I’m a small country mouse. We agree to disagree on that point. Don’t get me wrong. I loved living by and going to the city when I was younger. It just isn’t where I’m at now. I am in tune with the rhythm of the growing cycle now.

I like the happiness she has found in life. Princess Daughter has friends and other family around her where she lives. Her pets are well cared for and happy too. She has a boyfriend in a long term relationship. I wish her nothing but happiness and success.

We talk a few times a week on the phone. She visits me regularly, three or four times a year. We are close.

I say this because I am not one of those mothers that in wallowing in the death of one child and forgets about the others. Yes, I have been wallowing this week. That is my way. On his birthday and the week of his death I let loose and howl. I don’t make appointments, I don’t involve myself in projects with others. I spend that time in letting out the grief that has been accumulating over the last year. And then I move on.

I’ll be back to my old self. I’ll talk about projects and stuff. But I have the luxury of this time to grieve now that I didn’t then. So bear with me. I’ll be back. If not before then on Monday.

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