On Father’s Day:

I will start by saying that both Mother’s and Father’s day in it’s origin were day’s to honor the parents of those who had died in war and the sacrifice of a child that these people made for the good of all.

I kind of had a rant on Mother’s day because of my mother status from having a dead child. And though my son didn’t die in war the holiday has changed a lot over the years. So although I am not a father I will say Happy Fathers Day to those among you who have also lost a child.

My trouble was that I was being avoided because people didn’t want to make me sad by reminding me that my son had died. What they don’t get is that you never truly forget, not ever. You just learn to live with it.

Once it happens you are changed forever. Never to be the person you once were again. For those of you who are new to this, I will tell you it does change. But you will not forget. Your life from here on with be split by the before and after of this breaking of your heart. And time will never quite move the same as it did before. You will survive but never be the same.

For those of you who have been through this day before, ‘This day will pass.’ One of the hardest thing to deal with is, ‘What to do with this love you still have for your child and have no person to bestow it on?’ I wish I had an answer for you. The problem is that it is different for each individual. Some volunteer, others visit the grave, they give to the ones in there life that are left, or there are those that just bear it out. If what you are doing isn’t working try something else for a while.

If you are up to it have some fun, be happy, live. It won’t change a thing about the past but it will help you in the here and now. Death is, in the end, just a part of life. Don’t let it take all the fun out of the life that is still yours to live.

So have a Happy Fathers Day. You are not being left out of the honor meant to be bestowed on this day by me.