Serious Discussion on the Scary Side of Goth.

I should have put this up before Halloween, but now is better than never.

I’d like to discuss scaring children with your Gothness.  We don’t want to scare them away.  (Well, not always.)

If I’m going to be at a place that will have kids when I’m all Gothed out, I like to be prepared.

Remember: Kindly smiles at them doesn’t always work.  Some see it as ‘I think you look delicious. Can I bite you?’

And filling your pockets with candy for them is not appreciated by the parents.  (And don’t forget the ‘Don’t take candy from strangers’ rule.  Few things are as strange as Goths.)

At times I do have trinkets/toys in my bag to hand out.  But I only give them after asking the parents first.  (Plastic Spider or Skull rings, Fun/spooky stickers, or things like that.)

But talking to them in a calm soothing voice about ‘not’ scary things seems to work best.  But be prepared, questions will soon follow.

Questions like “Why do you look like that?” can be handled in a lot of different ways.  And answering with, “Oh, did my [Insert body part here.] fall off again.  Help me look for it.“  might sound like fun in your head.  But…  Joking works better with adults.  Kids don’t always get the gag.  And confusing them only adds to their fright.

Questions and Answers (Your choices may need to be age appropriate.)

Q: Why do you like scary things?  (Besides the obvious, Why do you like the things you do?  Come back. Most kids hate that one.  They want to understand things.)
A: Some times its fun to be scared.  Having fun with something makes it a lot less scary.  Or.  I have decided to make friends with what scars me so it isn’t as scary anymore.  Or.  Fire Trucks can be scary, but they help people and you’ve learned not to be scared of them.

Q: Why do you like scaring people by how you look?
A: I don’t like to scare others if they don‘t like it.  I’m sorry if how I look scares you.  Or.  On the inside we all look the same.  The outside doesn’t count.  Or.  Even scary monsters are nice sometimes.  Or.  The Fire Trucks thing if you didn’t use it before.

Q: Why do you look so scary if people don’t like it?
A: I like it.  You like other things and dress the way you like.  And the way you dress might be a bit scary to somebody else.

Q: Doesn’t anything scare you?
A:  Yes, of course I get scared too.  We just get scared of different things.  (You can also admit to something that scares you here, but that can open up a whole new list of problems for you.  Pay back maybe?  Kids like to have the power to scare others, but should be old enough to use discretion or someone could get hurt.)

Of course there are also the questions about contact lenses, piercings and tatoos.

Be honest, but not too descriptive.  This child could be a future Goth in the making.

And remember never to suggest that they should get some.  They have plenty of time to make those decisions for themselves later when their parents won’t blame you for it.

Making it fun for them helps a long way toward having a population that accepts our differences and a lot less Goths will be beaten, mocked or ridiculed for their looks that way.