Wednesday, April 6, 2011

On Still Smiling Through the Tears:

I’m not saying that my life is harder than any one else’s, only that this year hasn’t been the best so far. And I know better then most, that my hits have been on the low scale, all things considered. Yet the hits keep coming.

I don’t want, and never have wanted, this blog to be about ‘my tragic life‘. In fact I was going for a place for Gothic enjoyment and over coming the trials that come with being an eccentric elder Goth woman.

Yet looking back at my postings lately I sound like a whiny drama queen more times than not. Or at least it feels that way to me.

I want Spring to come and have a new beginning. A time and place to put what has happened so far this year behind me. Yet life keeps on throwing punches my way, along with this repetitive winter weather.

We had to have Sir Laidback ‘put to sleep‘. His bad knee gave out. He was in pain. And with his other health issues they couldn't operate on him. It has been one bad time on top of another here at our house with small happy breathers scattered through, just enough to keep me hoping.

I have a happy little puppy here on my lap. He still brings many smiles to my face. But those smiles are through my tears today.

I know that life has ups and downs, trials and rewards. I can and will get to the other side of this new setback.

When the winter recedes a new vegetable garden will be planted, grow, bring forth fruit, and die back down into the earth. Circles and cycles of life played out over a year at a time. Taking time and effort, but giving tasty sustenance to my life.

Sir Laidback has had his time here too. He was only with us for a year and a half. He was old, sickly, blind, and mostly deaf. We made his time with us as good and comfortable as we could. We were happy to do it. We loved him for what he was, a laidback pleasant dog who was happy to just sit and worship the woodstove and love us for the opportunity. Good-bye little buddy.

And I’ll keep on trying to smile at how life plays its absurd game on me.


whitey said...

I hope spring come into to your life soon , you have had a hard winter.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't have said it better, even if I could communicate well. I want to tell you how very sad I am for you and your husband.

Mouse said...

*hugs* My MIL has lost two pets in the last few weeks as well.. its been such a struggle for her and I'm so sorry its happening to you.