Saturday, February 5, 2011

Kiss His Whole Face:

What makes me want to slap someone silly, while kissing their face, after a bad scare?

I love my husband and don’t want any harm to come to him, yet I feel the urge to give him a smack.

Is it the stress talking? Or is it relief? Maybe both together?

He wasn’t the driver so I can’t fault him there, and even so it was the icy conditions not the drivers fault.

And still I want the satisfaction of laying low the fear. Fighting it physically. Screaming “Don’t make me relive the night my son died again! Don’t make me think about it happening to you either!”

Will I ever get over my son’s death? I think not. But why must it color my days since?

4 comments:

Laurel said...

I'm glad your husband is home and safe. I think, when we lose someone we love very much, we suffer such a great loss that we don't wish to see it happen again--not to ourselves, and not to anyone else. Suffering has a funny way of teaching compassion,I guess. As for the wanting to hug someone while slapping them at the same time--I think that's normal in any close relationship. Some people see this as a fault, but I don't. Rather, I think it is a testament to one's love for another being. They say that the greatest power is having great power but knowing how to restrain it. Everyone has those days when they want to both hug and throttle their loved ones (not that most people ever would do that--that goes against the values of many). But emotions can be strong, especially when something happens in an instant. I apologize if I'm misunderstanding again.

Mark The Asperger Poet Of Radio86. said...

Hi there. Sometimes even I can be so silly. We all get stressed and annoyed by something that riles us on the inside. Things don't go according to our plans. Naturally, I just call objects offensive names. Things do p**s us off from time to time. I get annoyed if I knock into something, or fall over. Sometimes, it doens't take ice to annoy me.

CMZ Art/ Rustic Goth said...

I'm so glad your husband came home all safe and sound...I understand the feelings.
Hang in there.

heidilogic said...

I'm so glad he is ok, and I'm sorry about the fear. I can understand the feeling as I've felt similar with my kids and husband. Though I'm sure it is no where near your feelings having experienced with your son. Hugs to you and your loved ones and I am grateful you are all ok.