Monday, August 22, 2011

On Hopes that Come With Autumn:

As a school aged child the coming of Autumn has always brought a feeling of anticipation for me.

Not just the new school year, learning new things, new cloths, new books, new classes. This was the anticipation of new classmates.

Almost every year brought new families into town. New kids would arrive on the first day of school.

And I always harbored the hope that one day, one of them would be like me, be ‘my’ friend, like me for who I was.

There were times that things looked almost like they might fall into place. But alas it was not to be. The new kid would only humor me until they figured out the lay of the land. Than they would play up to the popular group in hopes of gaining higher status.

I was always left alone, friendless again by Thanksgiving time in late November.

Despite the yearly let down, I never lost that hope. Some day, a friend would come into my circle and like me for who I was, and not for what they could gain from association with me. Jobs held that same allure of possible friendships.

My divorce had its added blow of learning that not one of my so called friends wanted to keep that friendship. And I was told outright that the only reason I was tolerated was because of my husbands standing in the community.

I did find Mountain Man and though he is not a kindred spirit, he does tolerate it well for the most part.

All that aside, I find myself looking out the window these days and hoping for a kindred friend to come my way. Just because Autumn is coming.


Anonymous said...

You do have friends. We lurk, reading your blog regularly. We may not know each other in real life, but we look forward to reading what you have to say. Lurking Karen

Anonymous said...

I agree with the above..I love reading your blog and was very concerned when you vanished for awhile. I know what you mean about friends. I have them but not that special someone but having said that you can't beat sitting in front of the fire with a glass of wine and book of victorian ghost stories. It's not really something you can share. I'm married with grown up kids but I'm still the loneranger lol