Over the weekend I was going to show you pictures of the flowers blooming in my yard.
Every time I picked up the camera to get those pictures the phone rang or someone dropped by.
The pictures were never taken.
The same conversation kept on being repeated over and over. Tornado destruction, wars, flooding, earth quakes. Lucky it wasn’t us. So sad for those people.
By the end of Sunday I was in tears. I couldn’t listen any longer. Not that I didn’t care. It was that I did. I was feeling it too much and couldn’t fix it for them or myself.
I’m no stranger to bad times. I’ve had cancer, I‘ve lost a child, gone through a divorce. Bad times come and go.
I know good times also. I’m glad for even the bad days in my life. Life has its ups and downs. And I’m living my life in the best way I know how.
I laugh and groan at my happy puppy daily. But by Sunday evening even the puppy couldn’t get a smile out of me.
I’ll do what I can, donate, pray, help in my own way from where I am. But tonight it wasn’t enough. I just had to cry some of the pain away. Knowing that the losses some of those people suffered will have changed those people forever more.
I know that damage in my heart and my heart bleeds for them remembering my own losses and how deep they went for me.
They will smile and dance and sing again someday. But right now there is emptiness and tears, pain and loss. And it just got to me.