Okay, so I’m seeing a therapist, and I’m getting some more coping skills in place, and the plants are still in orbit, and I’m into guided meditation now.
First let me say that being overwhelmed is not a good place to be. It gets in the way of the things you want and need to do.
Second, stuff is still stuff and mostly it can wait stuffed away. But you can’t stuff it away forever.
Third, life can be tough at times so put in a good supply of big girl (or boy, as the case may be.) panties and practice wearing them proudly.
Fourth, tomorrow will be another day. And don’t sweat the small stuff. Time heals. Infinite Improbability Drive in place and working properly. I will survive.
In therapy I’ve found out that I don’t like looking at my life too closely most of the time. I just like getting down and living, enjoying, doing. If I look too hard at my life it doesn’t look like what the TV, my parents, and teachers told me it would be like. And this makes me a bit uncomfortable.
As a Goth this is a good/bad thing. I like being different, but it doesn’t give me as many bridges into friendships. Apparently Goths still scare vanilla people. This includes happy Goths who play the Ukulele, and knit doll sweaters, and have broken family relationships not of their own making.
So I’m gonna’ put on my glittery bat wings today, meditate the heck out of most of the afternoon, and get this trolley back on track. Stop spinning my wheels so to say.
Now if I only had a destination to point myself to. And I still don’t know what was so wrong with the one I had. It was working for me before. (Note to self: Find Gothy guided meditations.)
Meditate, meditate, meditate. I’m committed to this getting my life to a more controlled chaos again. Maybe something will come to me then. All will be made clear and brought into the light, as they say.
But for now, I think I’ll find a little shadowy corner to play in for a while. Its more comfortable there anyway.